Spiritual Prompts 5/29 thru 6/4
Ricky Gervais’s “After Life” displays much spirituality through the eyes and words of atheists
It intrigued me when my dear friend and non-romantic (at least in this lifecycle) soulmate LM suggested that I watch the series After Life because LL (not a typo — an inside reference) said it displays much well written spirituality from the atheist perspective, which I most assuredly am not, yet as I define spirituality, many atheists and many spiritualists have a lot in common.
You see, in my essay, Marriage of Philosophy and Spirituality, A foundation of principled pillars upon which to build a highly content life, I wrote:
When I use the term spiritual, I use it in a manner that transcends the binary of theism versus atheism. One can act entirely spiritually with or without a belief in “god” however one understands that term. Spirituality only requires love, empathy, compassion, humility, honesty and courage.
On the flip side of the coin with all those positive feelings, stands accountability, both personal, and the obligation to hold others accountable for their words and deeds. Karma demands this, else the offending soul gets stained with entitlement.
So, for this week's prompts to write essays or poems or anything else that you fucking feel like (you can even write about fucking, if it fits and you feel like it), I share with you these moments from season 1 of the 3 seasons of the show (I have not yet watched seasons 2 and 3).
“Happiness is amazing. It’s so amazing, it doesn’t matter if it’s yours or not.”
That is one of many great lines in this clip, in which Tony (Ricky Gervais, who lost his wife to cancer) discusses with the also-an-atheist woman (Anne) he befriended at the cemetery that he is no longer suicidal as it will be worth sticking around in pain to see if he can make his corner of the world a better place for others.
I found the first two episodes hard to watch because suicide, whether attempted or, for lack of a better word at this moment, successful, has crushed the lives of so many, including me, and thus I have geared several of my works here on Medium and many comments left in the stories of others towards suicide attempt prevention.¹
Tony’s turnaround towards choosing life reminds me of these words from the ultimate example of survival, Viktor Frankl, which I have cited in most or all (rather than check as I may not have in one) of my very personal and vulnerable suicide-attempt prevention essays:
What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life — daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility [emphasis added] to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.
“The thing you lost is the same thing that can stop that pain”
“Good things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to good people. It’s not always someone’s fault.”
First of all, these lines speak the truth that those that feel that life is not fair, misunderstand the nature of human existence and the purpose of life, which most assuredly is not the pursuit of happiness as that would exclude all but those souls that have only begun to experience life on Earth.
Second of all, these lines address the absolute fucking bull shit of each and all of the toxically positive law-of-attraction, original sin, and other confusions created by religions, including new-age spirituality, which is just as flawed as every other religion.
Religions have been designed to be believed and thus construct God as a deliverer of human wants if we do as we are told, which God is not. So people either blindly believe in God because the lie of what God is is believable, or reject God because the God defined by religions cannot co-exist with the reality that most people do not get what they want, or are not actually happy, and a world full of seemingly senseless tragedy and really bad things happening to good people.
The section heading lines are spoken to Tony by Roxy, whose real name in the show is Daphne. I loved the scenes between them. Why does her character have two names? Well, because the actress plays a prostitute, or as she repeatedly has to correct Tony, a sex worker. I note that she and Tony never engage in any sort of that type of transaction with each other, as opposed to too many husbands and wives in the real world who frankly only engage in transactional sex.
Love’s a condition that should not have conditions Love with conditions is a property exchange It’s legal prostitution
inspired that tanka in my collection of much more spiritual tanka on unconditional love
Unfortunately, no one has uploaded any of the key scenes between Tony and Daphne to YouTube, so I’ll have to quote all the lines on which I now wish to focus your attention.
“What’s your name?” “Roxy (she says with sexy tude).” “Your real name.” “It’s Daphne. What? What’s that face?” “It’s a nice name.” “Exactly. Don’t suit me.” “What, cause you’re not nice?” “I don’t know.” “It suits you. Deep down, you’re a Daphne. You never know what’s around the corner. One minute you’re happy and safe and smug about it. The next minute, everything is taken away from you. … “Hey, why do you do what you do?” “Money…Do you remember that movie Pretty Woman? I just thought it looked really glamorous…You would be surprised to see the amount of people that still expect all sex workers to look like Julia Roberts…”
Ok, my reflections on this conversation will now get very vulnerable and opinionated. I have written several times that transactional sex between consenting adults should neither be stigmatized nor criminalized. Why do I feel this way?
Because, as I disclosed about Lindsey and me in April 2021 in A Defiant Love Story:
I omitted that Lindsey was a call girl and never stopped being a call girl and that I did pay every time. I was afraid that some might think that the love I described was not real and not mutual — that some might think I had been manipulated. Twice a greatly reduced rate was arranged — from October onward it was less than half her usual. The last few months, she was turning down appointments — she only wanted to see me. I discouraged this because I was concerned for her financial situation. The last month or so she only saw me. She truly loved me, and I truly brought love and joy to her life. She was definitely my happy place. The saying is that call girls are not paid for sex — they are paid to leave. I never wanted Lindsey to leave and she did not want to leave and would have stayed many hours without compensation, but she booked through an agency and since that is the way I met her there were rules that had to be followed that I refused to even consider breaking because only she would be penalized.
That all sounds too dry. I love her so much. She was a breath of fresh air every day. I miss those breaths. I kissed her passionately like I have never kissed another — and she absorbed and returned the passion. She was my Golden Hair Surprise.
Moreover, as I have written, the stigma attached to these life choices, and that she had to keep these secrets from her family, contributed greatly to the accidental overdose nature of Lindey’s passing.
Lindsey’s secret and others that I learned of after her passing ate her up inside and contributed to the manner of her accidental passing. She would have died that day anyway but under different circumstances. Her family learned of some of the hidden circumstances of her life a few weeks before the deathiversary and sadly for me Robyn, her sister, is so angry that she broke off relations with me. I am ok with that. I had looked forward to having a sister-in-law whom I love dearly, but really the loss is hers, and I do not mean the loss of me, I mean the loss of a relationship with Lindsey.
…
This excerpt is from my email to Robyn [her sister] after she broke the news to me in a text [that she had learned one of the secrets and broke off relations with me]:
Robyn,
I have been preparing for the day when a text like you sent the other day would come for many, many months. Before I came up for the celebration of life, I asked myself what Lins would want me to say to you on her behalf if I were to be confronted by you with the hidden circumstances of her life.
I believe Lindsey would take your hands in hers and look you in the eyes and say:
“It’s still me. Nothing has changed. I am still the sister you love and that loves you. I am still the daughter dad loves and that loves him. I made many mistakes in life. I made many choices that I regret. I am learning all about that in Heaven. Please do not let my mistakes, or that I was too ashamed to tell you about them, eat you up inside.”
Unfortunately, as I have learned from channeled conversations with Lindsey, to this day Robyn is very much eaten up inside by all that and blames Lindsey for Robyn’s own unhappiness. How fucked up is that?
I think I’ll reserve some other clips for future prompts and close with this song from one of the episodes. Please do listen to it as it is another prompt to inspire your creations:
Author’s Note:
Lately, I see very few if any responses here in PW or elsewhere to my spiritual prompts. Should I stop bothering to create them? I won’t, but I may just start to self-publish them or publish them elsewhere if they do not suit PW readers. LMK.
Here are a few of my recent prompts:
In Rama I create, with soul-energy surging through my body, inspiring me and breathing wind into my sails,
¹ Here are my suicide attempt prevention works. The first one, while 17-minutes long, is my most read and engaged-with piece by every measurable metric. It tells of my friendship with Andrew since 1991 that continues beyond his 2006 suicide. How is that possible? Because I continue to have a relationship with his soul, sometimes facilitated by a wonderful and reputable psychic medium, Ane, with whom I have worked from time to time since 2010.