Seven Signs You Should Ditch Your Guy, Save Your Time And Find Someone Better

If he’s not serious about you, move on

If you’ve been dating a guy for a while and you want to take it to the next level, but he’s not ready, that could be very frustrating. You might feel like he’s stringing you along or that there is something wrong with you.

Inventing a fantasy future where you have babies and grow old together may be enjoyable but not very realistic.

Just because a man says he wants to settle down doesn’t mean he automatically wants to settle down with you.

So when is it time to call it quits?

1. He hasn’t introduced you to his friends and family

No one will introduce a new girlfriend to their mum after one date, and if they do, run away fast! But if you’ve been dating a guy for three months and you still haven’t met any of the people closest to him. In that case, chances are your beau doesn’t see you as long-term relationship material.

If you are happy with this arrangement, that’s fine. If you are looking for a more permanent partner and envisioning a future where you attend family events together. In that case, it’s not so fine, and you need to talk to him about it.

Rather than demand to meet his friends here and now or else, try talking to him about it. There may be a good reason, and if you get shifty replies or excuses, then it may be time to say goodbye.

2. He won’t agree to an exclusive relationship

A big red flag is if you have been dating for a while and your guy still wants to play the field. This could be anything from going on dates with other women to saying he might like to.

Make sure you have the conversation. Many women have been surprised that the man they viewed as a boyfriend had no intention of being around long term. A direct question about whether you are exclusive will clear this up for you.

“Just because a man says he wants to settle down doesn’t mean he automatically wants to settle down with you.”

Remember that just because he hasn’t dated other women, it’s his mindset about exclusivity that matters. If he’s using you as a ‘good enough for now’ girlfriend, that doesn’t bode well for your future well-being.

3. He’s out partying without you

If a man is serious about nailing you down as a girlfriend (rather than just nailing you), he will want to spend time with you.

Finding out from friends or social media that your guy has been regularly partying without you is a sure sign that he doesn’t view you as a permanent fixture.

There are two elements to this. Firstly, your man is keeping quiet about where he’s going, and secondly, he is not inviting you. It’s hard to confront someone you are dating about their whereabouts without seeming like a stalker, but if it concerns you, bring it up.

His explanation may be enlightening.

4. He’s not where he says he is

Communication and trust are vital in a relationship, and if your man is constantly in places where he’s not meant to be, you must ask yourself why.

There is no good reason to lie about where you are. In a good relationship, you should be able to have discussions about space, how often you see each other, and how often you see each other’s friends.

“Cheating and lying aren’t struggles, they’re reasons to break up.” — Patti Callahan Henry.

Finding out that your boyfriend wasn’t where he said he was once may be fine, but it it happens all the time, you’ve got to ask yourself (and him) why.

5. He won’t share his plans and goals

Most people have plans around their careers, where they want to live, travel, holidays and hobbies.

If your guy doesn’t seem to have any plans or goals he is willing to share, it may mean he just doesn’t want to share them with you. In my twenties, I dated someone who told me he was going on holiday with his best friend the day before they caught the plane.

That was a clear sign that I was not included in his plans. I’d love to say that I threw him out of the door with a flea in his ear, but I wasn’t wise enough then. I am now.

6. He prioritizes his friends and hobbies over you

Men who are serious about a woman treat them well and make proper arrangements in advance. They don’t break dates at the last minute for a game of squash or leave you hanging as a second option in case ‘the boys’ want to go out.

Relationships are all different, and it’s up to each couple how often they see each other, but some dating manners should be observed.

Don’t put up with it if you are being treated as a reserve option. Explain how you expect to be treated and if things don’t change, leave.

7. You find him on a dating website

This happened to me once, and it’s not pleasant. A friend tipped me off that someone I was dating was active on a dating website, and that was the end of that relationship.

My story isn’t unusual. An article on Wired.com by Molly McHugh, states that up to 42% of users on Tinder may be in a relationship. You might think they are in a relationship with you.

If you find the man you are dating is active online, it’s time to call it quits. And yes, even if you both like pina colada, you still need to leave him and find someone who isn’t a cheater.

Summary

You get the treatment you allow. It’s your job to look out for yourself and make your own decisions about whether someone is worth dating.

If the answer is no, you know what to do. (Ditch him, if you are still wondering.)

Communication is your best tool when dating. Your first go-to should be an open and frank discussion when any red flags appear. You never know. There could be a good reason for your guy’s behavior, and on the other hand, there might not be.

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