TRANSGENDER

Same, Same, but with the Weirds

15 months since I started T

In this edition (click for quick links)

The fifteenth month in review Other changes Are you my peeps? Are you new here? The daily journal

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The fifteenth month in review

Two days into the new year and I’m already noping out, lol. But in my defense, it’s like, 31 degrees C out. That’s all I’ve got. Let’s move on.

This month has been much of the same — no surprise there. That’s why last month, I stopped writing my daily journal entries.

At this point, everything is just a thing, lol. But, at the start of my journey on T, the path to that point of everything just being a thing, seemed so long, arduous, and somewhat impossible. But here I am. And that is exactly why I started this publication in the first place. I’ve read so much written from HERE, but I needed to read about each small step. So I wrote it. I hope it’s helped at least someone out there.

Add-on: I don’t for a minute think that I’m ‘there’ or have arrived anywhere. I know that tomorrow could throw me a curveball, but today, shit is stable and that’s weird so I’m paying it.

Here’s an overview of the changes I noticed this month on T based on a list of possible changes (FOLX Health, 2020). Areas with noticeable changes are bolded and I’ve included a quick link if I’ve shared more.

• Deepened voice — I’ve been getting a sore throat more than noticeable changes but I did have someone who hasn’t heard my voice since pre-T say my voice was sounding great. So, that? I guess. Lol.
• Changes to monthly periods/regular bleeding — Hmmm, I’m loath to say anything here because the last time I dared to be happy about this section, bitch took me down!
• Facial and body hair growth — It continues. I feel like my facial hair is growing back quicker but it’s still sparse.

• Increased muscle mass/strength — This month, I got calves! Lol. Ok, exaggeration, but the definition finally hit and it gave me a happy.

• Body fat redistribution from hips and thighs
• Clitoris growth/bottom growth
• Increased skin oiliness or acne
• Baldness or hair thinning
• Increased libido
• Coarser skin — My skin is so freakin’ dry in this summer heat!
• Increased sweating — Did I mention summer heat?
• Increased appetite
• Weight gain/fluid retention — Actually, thank you for bringing my attention to this. Not because I have had it, but because I haven’t! Usually, heat like this has fluid retention kicking in, but I’m good. Nice.
• Chest tissue atrophy
• Weakening of tendons
• Thickening of facial bone structure

Other changes

Outside of the possible physical changes listed above, I’ve also experienced the following:

• Between T and phentermine, my mental health is in a good place. I’ve had the weirds a bit the past couple of days, it comes and goes, but that is likely my characters getting antsy because I haven’t edited in three days and they are waiting for me to do my 2023 book planning. Oh, for those unfamiliar with the weirds, it’s basically what I call that feeling of like, two dimensions not quite aligning and I have one foot in each. It’s kind of like a dissociation and a sense of… this ain’t reality. This ain’t my world. This ain’t my existence. What the hell is this place? If I don’t acknowledge it and let myself fall whichever way, it can get to feeling like a stretched rubber band. And it will snap. But that can also be good because it’s like, an instant dimension shift. Been there, done that, lol. That’s why THIS episode of the weirds could be my characters. They are competing for my attention in their different dimensional stories. Yeah, welcome to ME! I did get the weirds a lot more before T, but I’m not at all surprised about that.

Are you my peeps?

If you are on T, are considering going on T, waiting to start T, been on T for years, trans-masc with no intention of going on T, trans at all in any of our many forms, non-binary, a trans ally, or someone with an interest in trans education, please, stick around. I’m sharing this journey because there is not enough representation. When I started questioning gender, it was a struggle to find the information I needed and I want to help, someone.

Are you new here?

If you’ve only just found me, welcome to my journey as a trans-masc non-binary person. I’ve been writing about my journey since I started questioning my gender. It all started here:

On October 2nd, 2021, I began hormone replacement therapy! I’ve been keeping a daily journal in which I reflect on my changes and experiences. I post weekly and monthly updates. You can read everything here:

You can read more about me and access a quick link catalog to all of my articles right here:

Reference:

FOLX Health, 2020, Expected Physical Changes with Testosterone HRT, Nov 12, viewed Nov 2 2021, https://www.folxhealth.com/library/testosterone-hrt-physical-changes