Pink Hair & Pronouns August 2023
Featuring new writers, Boosted stories galore— plus a gender non-conforming perspective on the new Barbie movie
Y’all, July was AMAZING
Hello from the Pink Hair & Pronouns, otherwise known as my basement office, broadcasting to you on your laptop or phone. Did you had a nice July? My month has been great, mostly because so many new writers joined the ranks of PHAP and shared their incredible stories.
A few highlights:
- We’ve shared stories from parents of gender non-conforming kids.
- We’ve shared queer voices detailing their experiences, from prom dates to detransitioning.
- We had a whole lot of articles receive a “Boost,” which means even more people got to benefit from their words.
- We even got a Barbie movie review, from the most unique and insightful perspective I’ve read yet.
- And we even got a couple responses to our July writing prompt, “Firsts.”
Let’s jump into the details, shall we?
July writing prompt: Firsts
I’ll admit, I did a pretty poor job spreading the word about our July writing prompt, so we only got two responses — and I wrote one of them. But they’re both damn fine writing — especially the first one.
1. I Took a Same-Sex Date to Prom in the 90s
The first story offers a trifecta of firsts:
- The author was the first-ever person to take a same-sex date to his high school prom (in 1994).
- It was the author’s first-ever Medium post!
- I am the first (and so far, only) person following him on Medium (!!!).
So everyone, please welcome A Queer Guy in Seattle both to Pink Hair & Pronouns and to Medium — and follow him! His very first story is a banger and I’m honored he’s shared it with us.
2. The First Time My Child Faced Homophobia
Even in our liberal blue bubble of a city and neighborhood, homophobes lurk. This story chronicles how my youngest child and two of her friends learned the (sort of) hard way that one of them lived right across the street.
August writing prompt: Coming out
Unlike last month, I’ve created a post to spread the word about our new writing prompt for August…
I can think of no better way to develop a sense of communal empathy and social knowledge exchange than by sharing our stories.
So for August, whether you’re the one who came out, or the one who someone came out to — please feel free to share your story in this safe, welcoming space of Pink Hair & Pronouns. Tag it with “Coming Out” so I’m able to find them, and I’ll be sure to share them in our September newsletter.
If you’re not a writer with PHAP yet, just post a comment on this article stating you’d like to be added and I will make it so.
At PHAP we’re all about that Boost, ‘bout that Boost
I’ve been blown away by the caliber of writing we’ve received from our new writers — and the editorial staff at Medium seems to agree, as so many of our writers were Boosted in July.
In alphabetical order, we’ve got…
Pause and Be Patient — My Approach to Parenting Gender Non-conforming Kids by Arpad Nagy
“Our children have one childhood, a singular innocence. Despite their immature thought process, we must remember that our children trust us to do the right thing without understanding our academic and experience-based knowledge.
We must believe in ourselves as much as we believe in them.”
Embracing My Trans Child by Carrie
“I know exactly what they could face because I have faced all of it, including the scariest parts. I also know, I can’t protect them from it, anymore than I can live it for them.
I don’t want to live for them but it kills me knowing that I can’t protect them. All I can do is give them the tools to protect themselves.”
I’m a Detransitioner. Don’t Use Me to Take Rights Away from Trans People. by E.S. (they/them)
“It’s not for me to say who anyone else is, how they should relate to their own body, or how they should navigate the cumbersome gender roles the world still insists on hanging round our necks. We all have a natural right to define, and redefine, ourselves. It goes hand in hand with our bodily integrity, with the validity of our emotions and lived experience, with the rights to organize, to strike, to set our own boundaries.”
The Grief of Having a Trans Child by Lost Layla
“It wasn’t just about the fact that I’d always seen perfection there; it was the pain and turmoil that my kid not only didn’t see perfection, but literally saw their physical body as their biggest obstacle in life.
It was the pain the body caused them, that also pained me.”
I Am Not Ruby Bridges’ Mother by Melissa Corrigan
“I am not Ruby Bridges’ mother. I cannot look in the faces of strangers — their faces contorted with rage as they scream about people like my child — as they demand (and usually achieve) outright segregation and discrimination in schools for transgender kids, all due to their own discomfort and lack of understanding about what it means to be transgender, or gay, or non-binary, anything outside their white, conservative Christian bubble that they personally deem scary or confusing. I cannot witness this and maintain my composure, my dignity, or my peace.
I am not Ruby Bridges’ mother.
I am not that strong.
I am not that brave.”
Dear Moms of Target by Rachel Guthrie Priestley
“Every time this child wakes up and looks in the mirror they battle what they see versus what they know to be true. Every time they walk into a store they are bombarded with the gender binary. Not who they are. Who they aren’t. Who they never will be.
Target boldly and beautifully reached out to my child and said, ‘We see you. We affirm you. You matter to us and to this world. You have value in this space.’”
Somewhere Over the Rainbow, in Waukesha, Wisconsin by Rae Lynn Sommers
“Melissa Tempel is a teacher who got fired for proclaiming on social media that the school district she worked for that forbade students to sing a song about rainbows was absurd and wrong and biased.
She dared to tell the truth about the district, who called the song political and inflammatory, while the district, by banning the song, consequently made the song more political and inflammatory than it ever would have been if the kids had just sung the dang song!”
C’mon Barbie, let’s go party
I don’t know about all of you, but my Medium feed (and the news and social media in general) have exploded with reviews and hot takes on the Barbie movie. And with good reason — it was an exceptionally well-done film.
Just when I thought there was nothing more to say — E.S. (they/them) goes and submits their review to Pink Hair & Pronouns, and kind of blows my mind. I’m sharing it here as it’s one of the most refreshing and singular write-ups of the film yet, identifying with the film from both a young girl and a transmasc male, perspective, and calling out the obvious…
“While not explicitly dealing with trans characters or transition, these themes link it to the trans experience in a way that’s more inclusive, and deeper, than the relentless focus on the physical that pervades so many trans portrayals in the media. After all, as the dolls themselves point out, neither of them has genitals. Their genders are social constructs in the most obvious way, but carry great personal and social significance.”
Once again, an immensely huge THANK YOU to everyone who shared their stories with Pink Hair & Pronouns, and to all of you who stopped by and read them.
We are just getting started, and I can’t wait to see how the publication grows in August and beyond.
I’m tagging all our writers and editors and sending you all my little words of love. ❤
Arpad Nagy | Carrie | E.S. (they/them) | Melissa Corrigan | Lost Layla | A Queer Guy in Seattle | Rae Lynn Sommers | Rachel Guthrie Priestley | A.J. Cralle (she, her) | Christopher Robin | KiKi Walter | Carol Lennox | Imaginary Liz | Chris Thompson | Doktor K | Janet Meisel | Kelly Sophia Grace | Michelle Marie Warner
XOXOXO, Your editrix*, Dana, aka All My Little Words
*With huge thanks to A Queer Guy in Seattle for coining my favorite new moniker.
PS — for Kelly Sophia Grace and anyone else who’s already been added as a writer to the publication. When you’re ready to share a story with us, click the three dots in the top right corner next to your profile photo, select “Add to publication” and then click the dot next to Pink Hair & Pronouns, and then Select and continue. Thanks!
Pink Hair & Pronouns
A space for parents and caregivers of gender nonconforming kids. Come join us!