Dear Moms of Target

They aren’t after your children. They are after mine.

“I don’t want to go into Target!!”

“I know, honey. Mommy just needs one thing.”

“What?!? What in the world is that one thing you need?? What one thing can you only find at Target??’

“Adult conversation.”

Listen. I get it. I really do. You are overwhelmed. You finally have a moment when someone else is watching the kids. A moment you can step away from the chaos of life. A moment you need desperately. To stroll the aisles aimlessly, latte in hand, getting lost somewhere between home decor and prairie dresses.

No one needs you here. No one is clinging or calling your name for the hundredth time today. The dog isn’t barking. The piles of laundry and piles of dirty dishes aren’t fighting for your attention. It’s just you and the bright lights, wandering in beautiful, blissful quiet.

Or maybe you shop with a baby strapped to your chest and a toddler in the cart. Maybe your escape is just distraction. Maybe this is a respite even with children in hand. Different walls to look at. Smiling faces. Maybe you take joy in exchanging pleasantries with another tired mama on the diaper aisle. Or maybe you take comfort in the smile of a grandma who surely remembers what it feels like to walk in your shoes. Perhaps a team member offers kindness in helping you, your groceries, and your gaggle of kids to the car.

You connect here. You reset here.

So what is one to do now? Now that this company has so boldly, brazenly pushed the envelope with its PRIDE line. Now that they are offering clothing and swimsuits targeted at transgender shoppers? What are you to do?

I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Target isn’t after your children. They are after mine.

You see, you’ve always had the convenience of being able to walk into a store and shop for yourself and your children. Clothing is bright and cheerful, designed to appeal to them. Catchy slogans on graphic tees. Coordinating outfits for the entire family. You can find clothing that is pleasing to both moms and their babes, cradle to graduation cap. Everything about the Target experience is marketed to you and your children.

And now you fear that Target is after the children. Your children.

Only they aren’t after your children.

They are after mine.

You see, my transgender child can’t walk in to any store and shop for age-appropriate, gender-affirming clothing. Clothing is marketed to children who fit their assigned gender at birth. It isn’t marketed to my child who needs a swimsuit that helps disguise body parts they aren’t comfortable with.

Every time this child wakes up and looks in the mirror they battle what they see versus what they know to be true. Every time they walk into a store they are bombarded with the gender binary. Not who they are. Who they aren’t. Who they never will be.

Target boldly and beautifully reached out to my child and said, “We see you. We affirm you. You matter to us and to this world. You have value in this space.”

You can love and lead and teach and nurture truth, but nothing you do will change your child’s gender. And nothing Target puts on their shelves will change your child’s gender either.

My child is transgender. And Target came after them.

In the best and most beautiful way, Target came after them.

Pink Hair & Pronouns — come write for us!

Pink Hair & Pronouns is a brand-new Medium publication, a space for parents and caregivers of gender non-conforming kids. Please follow us, and if you have a story to tell, consider becoming a writer! If you’re interested, just leave a comment here and we can add you. Thanks!