Nine Traits Men Want In A Woman According to Google

Dating With Confidence Series #10

This is #10 in the Dating With Confidence Series. Check out #1 to #9 plus the archives here.

We all want to know what the opposite sex is looking for in a partner.

Hopefully, we’ve moved on somewhat from the days of Jane Austen and Miss Bingley’s list of accomplishments from Pride and Prejudice.

“ A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, all the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.” — Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen, modernmrsdarcy.com

What do men want these days? Certainly, no-one I chatted to online wanted singing and drawing skills from me.

It’s very confusing. But, thanks to the power of the internet, we now have some answers.

I Googled ‘what do men want in a woman?’ and combined the answers to find out. The most popular traits surprised me.

So if you’re hoping to snag yourself a partner of the male variety, have a look and find out what men are looking for in a woman as per my Google search.

What men want in a woman #1: Independence

Four of the top articles stated that men want a woman who has her own life, friends, and interests. A woman who enjoys her own hobbies and isn’t clingy.

Most of the articles mentioned not being clingy, which made me suspicious. Does ‘an independent woman’ really mean ‘leaves me alone to do my own thing’ or ‘doesn’t mind if I have a night out with the lads’?

The jury is out on this one, but in my experience, it’s not the women who are the clingy ones.

What men want in a woman #2: Intelligence

Three of the lists stated that intelligence is essential, which is heartening. At least men these days are admitting women are intelligent.

When I was in my late teens in the ’70s, the question ‘are women as intelligent as men?’ was still seriously being discussed in the pub.

Things have improved since then, with 86% of men in 2018 thinking intelligence is equal between the genders. I can only wonder at the opinions of the other 14% — perhaps as a gender, we have won some of them over in the last few years.

“The research found the most significant changes were in perceptions around women’s competence, with most people believing that women are just as intelligent as men. In a poll from 1946, just 35% of those surveyed thought that intelligence was equal between genders, compared to 86% in 2018.” — Study finds people view women as smarter but men still hold the power, Lydia Jupp, womensagenda.com.au

These days, men want someone to talk to who can hold up their end of the conversation and the other benefits of partnering with an intelligent woman.

Want men want in a woman #3: Joint third

Good looks

Men are visual creatures, so it’s not surprising that good looks is on the list. Having said that, I wanted an attractive man myself when I was looking. Who doesn’t want an attractive partner?

And there is nothing wrong with that. When dating, we look for a romantic partner to be intimate with, not a friend.

Sense of Humor

It’s not surprising to see a sense of humor on the list, and it would be a sad life indeed to live with someone with no sense of humor.

When I created my wish list, the same sense of humor as me was a non-negotiable. I dated men from many different cultures, but I found that the men with the same sense of humor were Brits like me.

Communication and listening skills

We all know that communication and listening skills are a must if a relationship is to flourish, so it makes sense that men want this in a woman.

To survive the challenges of two careers, children managing money and running a household, communication is non-negotiable.

I’ve managed many leadership courses around listening and communicating with different people in my day job.

Surprisingly, many people haven’t learned how to listen and communicate effectively, so if you have this valuable skill, you are in the minority.

Confidence

Confidence popped up twice, which is probably a reflection of the number one desired trait of independence.

“If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started.” — Cicero

Far better to have a confident woman than a shrinking violet who needs a lot of support.

Authenticity

The message is loud and clear. Men want an independent, confident woman, and that means being authentic.

“When you’re authentic, you end up following your heart, and you put yourself in places and situations and in conversations that you love and that you enjoy. You meet people that you like talking to. You go places you’ve dreamt about. And you end up following your heart and feeling very fulfilled.” — Neil Pasricha, You Are Awesome — Neil Pasricha

So follow the old advice of ‘be yourself,’ and you can’t go wrong.

Adventure

Being a risk-averse, safety-loving, routine-oriented soul, I was surprised at men wanting adventure. If you do have a sense of adventure, you are in luck. You are much sought after.

Luckily for me, my partner has had enough adventure in his life and doesn’t demand any from me.

Conclusion

So if you were in any doubt about what men want from women, you now have an idea. At least an idea, according to Google.

However, when you are dating you are not worried about all these men online, you are concerned with the person you like. Ask them what they want and if you have it, all good.

If not, be courageous and hold out for someone who wants you as you are.

Above all, be honest, be kind, be authentic.