3 Time Saving Dating Tips for Singles

Dating With Confidence Series #9

This is #9 in the Dating With Confidence Series. Check out #1 to #8 plus the archives here.

Dating can take up a lot of time. Browsing profiles online, messaging, getting ready for the date …

And that doesn’t even consider the time on the date.

Throw in a few dinner parties to meet ‘someone who’s perfect for you’ but turns out to be your worst nightmare, and the hours soon add up.

“If your prospective date can’t hold a conversation, gives off a weird vibe, or treats you like a dial-up sex line, you probably won’t get on with them in real life.”

I wasted a lot of time on my dating journey. The more I learned, the more efficient I became.

From meeting with everyone who asked me out and being disappointed to discriminating and meeting my current partner took a lot of trial and error.

If you are a single who wants to save time but still date, read on.

Time-saving tip for daters #1: Trust your gut

The short-term tip is to listen to your instincts. If you are tempted to go on a date with a hot prospect because their picture is incredible, but your gut clenches. If you think, ‘I suppose I could consider someone who lives on a farm/smokes/doesn’t want children’, think again.

Your gut reaction is probably the correct one.

“Some of the information — their last job, where they went to school, how their last relationship ended — completely conflicts with what they said on the date. You didn’t catch the lies in the moment, but they still served as red flags to wave you off.” — Gut Feelings Are Real, but Should You Really ‘Trust Your Gut’? by Crystal Raypole, medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg. PhD, PsyD, healthline.com

Listen to your instincts, they are probably right.

Time-saving tip for daters #2: Pick up the phone

Once you’ve screened your date online or agreed to a blind date with the friend of a friend, it’s still a good idea to do a little more due diligence.

Take the time to have a phone call with your date before you meet. If you chat away like crazy and have a laugh, there is a good chance that you will get on in person.

If your prospective date can’t hold a conversation, gives off a weird vibe, or treats you like a dial-up sex line, you probably won’t get on with them in real life.

I’ve experienced all of the above plus someone who turned out to be a criminal. I talked on the phone with him, drinking tea at home in my pajamas, and I didn’t waste my time on the date.

And yes, all of them appeared fantastic in their dating profiles.

Time-saving tip for daters #3: Coffee and cake

Go on a coffee date. Arrange the date so that it is before or after another appointment. Yes, you can have a cake or a muffin if you want, but you haven’t committed to dinner.

If the other appointment is only doing your food shopping, it still counts. If the date is a washout, you haven’t got all dressed up and gone out for nothing.

Coffee dates are safe, short, and inexpensive. You avoid spending ages over a long lunch and being trapped with someone who isn’t a match.

You can be brief, polite, and on your way at a coffee date.

You can always meet for dinner if the date is a success.

Summary

There is more to life than dating. Meeting your soulmate is a great goal, and dating can be fun with the right person.

Wasting hours on dates with people you would never go on a second date with isn’t fun.

If your future date doesn’t pass the gut test, the phone screen, or the coffee date meet-up, just tell them kindly that you don’t think they are a match.