How to Have Sex

Lingerie Deserves a Wet Run

Lingerie is sexier when it’s been test driven

“Hot dish, coming through! And she’s carrying a casserole.” — Judith McFarland (Jack’s mom, Will & Grace circa 1999)

Whenever I hear the phrase “dry run”, I think of an early episode of Will & Grace. It’s Thanksgiving, and Jack’s mom, who doesn’t yet know that he’s gay, infiltrates the days leading up to their scheduled celebration by showing up at inconvinient and unwelcome times because she is obsessed with tracking and perfecting her holiday walk to the event.

She carries with her an empty casserole dish because she knows she will be carrying a casserole. She wants her dry runs to be as realistic as possible so that she can be confident in her timing and comfort.

When it comes to lingerie, I think similarly, although my dry runs are far less dry.

The wet run

The wet run is for the wearer. One would be best-suited to not only try on the garment or garments, but to wear them during a session of self-pleasure to the extent that one expects from future encounters. Orgasms appreciated, of course.

This consummation is sexual. It is the formation of a bond between a garment and the wearer that is based entirely on the wearer’s pleasure.

Recently, I enjoyed one such encounter that I had prepared for over a month ago. It’s amazing how much more sexy I felt having consummated my relationship with the garment. So much so, I will continue the practice of taking all sexy strappings for a preliminary test drive, or wet run.

The pitfalls of lingerie

Lingerie is not always easy to find. It can be difficult to put on. There are often tucks, lace, leather, and strings. Soft-looking fabrics are deceiving. Pictures are deceiving, too, if I buy online.

In my single years, I learned to buy lingerie for myself. I read that some women bought sexy things and wore them around the house to feel sensual. I tried it and found it mostly impractical, but I did buy garments for myself to wear during my own self-pleasure.

They were hard to find, but these garments were comfortable and sexy. They weren’t impossible to put on and take off. They didn’t pinch (in the wrong places). I felt sexy in them or they didn’t get worn.

It is a good guideline to follow that although it might not be something I would wear around the house, the lingerie I buy and wear must be wearable to the extent that I can feel pleasure in it.

Reasons for the wet run

I love the feeling of putting on a garment that I have come to know and striding out of my dressing room knowing it.

Trying to put myself in a garment I do not know while trying to feel sexy, especially if it is my first time wearing it and there is pressure to dress in a particular time frame, is a fool’s errand.

I want to make the decision to chuck it in the bin without feeling like my options are performing in it or disappointing someone.

I want to have veto power. This is easier if I’m doing a wet run on my own. If I put something on and I hate it or it’s not comfortable or it’s not me —if I don’t feel sexy in it —much like an orgasm, I don’t want to have to fake it.

Any reason for self-pleasure is a good one.

It is an indulgence to prioritize myself and my pleasure, even and especially when I test drive a new garment in my closet.

My lingerie becomes an item of self-expression

Because I took the time to know it alone first, my lingerie becomes an expression of myself and my sex. It becomes imbibed with my sexual nature and power.

My power is sexy to me. The time I spend creating my own pleasure in it transforms my lingerie from a complicated piece of clothing to a garment that means pleasure to me, one that I have approved of and associated with on my own terms.

My early wet run makes foreplay out of getting dressed.

I drip with sex in these moments. Perhaps it is still slightly scented of me. Perhaps it is a delicious secret of mine that I have worn it for my own pleasure before share that pleasure with another.

With each strap and tie fitted, every corner of lace stretched over, I flip through my mental images of the time I wore it before. Sensuality pushes my irises open to blackness and trickles out of the corners of my smile. All glory to the wet run.

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