WRITING

Never Let Trolls Stop Your Writing

Fear not the hate from strangers

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TW: Talk of transphobia that may be triggering.

Fear Not the Trolls

Writing on here, can be scary. Putting yourself out there, opening yourself to criticism and judgment, can be scary. And for those of us in the LGBTQIA+ community, and specifically those of us willing and wanting to write about our own experiences as members of that community, the fear can be downright halting. Because we’ve all felt the sting of hate. So, how do we write anyway? I’d like to share with you what I’ve discovered and why I no longer fear the troll.

Writers Inspiring Each Other

Logan Silkwood is a masterful writer — if you don’t already follow him, I highly recommend you go do that right now… And then come straight back and finish reading this, haha. He wrote this great article that was published on Prism & Pen and it prompted an exchange between us (see below).

Me: This a refreshing perspective and one I don’t think I’ve read discussed as yet. Thank you!… I LOVE your writing, man! I get lost in it and I have ideas and thoughts, every time. I love that!

Logan: 🥰🥰🥰 Much of it (even when parts are pulled from old journals) is inspired by the wonderful writings I have found all over the Medium. I feel like I’ve landed in some kind of digital trans paradise! 😍

Me: Right? It was not at all what I expected but it’s been an absolute godsend. I’ve had very few trolls — I think I’ve blocked two people. Between this and TikTok, my whole journey from questioning to ‘on T’ has been soothed and enhanced. Love my Medium and TikTok digital trans fams ❤

Logan: It’s so good to hear that you’ve had few trolls! I’ve been very nervous about the prospect of one of my writings going viral, knowing from experience that it can happen when you least expect it and leave you with bunches of hateful messages to field, block, or studiously ignore.

Logan’s last message hit me in the soul! And so, I began to reply.

Oh, I Feel That!

As I wrote, I realized that what I was sharing with Logan, could be helpful to others out there in the same situation; writers and potential writers in the LGBTQIA+ community who have been bitten enough times to know the pain of being a minority and fear opening themselves to yet another unprovoked attack — just because they/we are trying to exist, to live, to be our best selves, and god-forbid, to help others.

I am a writer. I AM a writer. I MUST write, because I am a writer. I can’t not write. It is in my blood, my soul, and my heart. It is my purpose and my passion. It is my life and my love. It is me. And so, I joined Medium. I too, had the same fears of attack, so I played small, at first. Now, I’m 376 published articles in (this will be 377) and I’m more sure of myself and my words than I ever have been in my life.

I no longer fear backlash, trolls, and attacks on Medium because I’ve come to a few realizations and perhaps these thoughts will help you too.

1. Tags keep me in front of the right crowd — My standards are Transgender, LGBTQ, Diversity, Equality, Mental Health, Self Improvement, Queer, Testosterone (for my T-Day and Beyond post), and Relationships.
2. Medium FREE members can only access a few things before they are locked out and trolls don’t like to pay to become members :D As such, there are just not very many trolls on here in general. This is a community of support and most writers understand and embrace that.
3. If there is a troll, just sit back and let your other readers sort them out, hahaha.
4. Trolls usually don’t WRITE ANYTHING themselves because their hate is against Medium’s guidelines. And also (because let’s face it, they only have the one repetitive narrative they sprinkle with the flavor of the month), they aren’t very creative. They are not thinkers!
5. Further to 4, yes, their hate is against Medium’s guidelines so it’s easy to report them.

I haven’t had any of my 376 articles go ‘viral’ and I suspect if one did, it probably would amplify the access to the ‘wrong’ crowd, but with the above knowledge, I’m ok with that now. Besides, I’m a member of the Partner’s Program. If trolls want to read, share, comment, and boost my article stats and reach, I’ll happily accept my Medium payment as compensation.

I’ve spent a lot of time and money on letting myself be me, I’ll be damned if I’m going to let a faceless troll who I’ve never met impact that. Hell, I cut off my own mother — what the hell can the words of a stranger do to me?

Straight for the Jugular

Finally, let me drop a huge bundle of reality bricks on you — trolls and specifically, their comments, do not matter as much as how we react to them. On the surface, trolls are just strangers — nameless, faceless, lonely people who know nothing about us. So why can the prospect of a comment stop us doing the thing we want to do? The truth is, it has nothing to do with the troll. The troll is simply a bridge to a trigger we haven’t yet dealt with. They hit at the PTSD, the childhood trauma, and the hidden pains inflicted on us by the people in ours lives that DID matter — those that were supposed to love us unconditionally, and didn’t. If we didn’t already hold these traumas, trolls would have no impact.

I’ve learned to… not love, but to appreciate trolls, because they show me my triggers. They show me where I still need to grow. I touched on that in an article a few months back.

In a way, transphobes lengthened my journey to this point, as did gatekeepers, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I’m thankful that I’ve had an amazing community of support and for every hateful comment, I receive dozens of comments of support. I’ve also learned the most important lesson of all — a comment means nothing more than the reaction I have to it. And in understanding that, I can deal with all of that old trauma, unpack it with my gender therapist, and ultimately, find my deepest truth. With every transphobic comment, I can find a bit more of me.

So if you are holding back for fear of damaging comments, remember that trolls are only representations of your own trauma. Only? Well, yeah, you still need to deal with your trauma. Trolls rarely stick around for a conversation — they drop the chaos, and leave! Can I guarantee you’ll not be visited by any trolls? Of course not — chances are, at some point, you will be, but they will be outweighed by people that support you, that have your back. People like me.