True Story: My Husband and I Were Thrown Out of a Strip Club
A confessional and 4 other true stories about the shit that has happened to me
Oh, the wonderful things I’ve done in my lifetime. Never write anything when you’re drunk, not even a text. You will regret it the next day 🤣 Hopefully, you didn’t see the first draft I published of this story...the title was so crass and clickbaity.
The shit that has happened to me, people think I’m lying but it’s all true. Every time I tell it to someone they think I’m either joking or it was a movie.
Like when Diana Ross walked up to me while I was minding my own business to ask me to teach her to do a head wrap.
Like the day I actually thought I was encouraging Carlos Santana backstage when I told him one day he was going to be famous. He laughed cuz he thought I was kidding. I wasn’t, I am from the Caribbean all I knew was calypso and reggae at the time. I mean, do you even know who he is?
See…I didn’t either but he’s amazing live. My mother thought he was a satanist because of his name, Santana. I guess we both have dyslexia and the jokes on me. He he🤣

Like the day 5 masked men with machine guns barged into my house, ducked taped the mouths of me, my mother, my uncle, my neighbor and her son. Made us all kneel by the bed with pillows on our heads and I actually fell into a deep sleep until the cops came. Turns out the local “taxi” driver that used to drive me home every other day was on the cop's most wanted list and I still didn’t rat him out…he was such a nice guy( long story:)
Like the day I met my husband who wore dresses but only at work. Now THAT’s a long story:
Like the day my husband and I were thrown out of a strip club in New Orleans cuz he was eating my pu$$y on stage.
Talk about Discrimination!🤣
This story was originally written in the spirit of April fools
But April fools jokes just pisses people off so these are true stories because I realized no one likes to be made fun of. I mean look at what happened to Chris Rock.
I’m a good girl.
I am.

