Happy Valentines Day!
How to Find Your Lover Without Trying Hard
The Art of Giving Up and Going With It
Do you want to know how I found my Man?
Hard Core Surrender, Confidence and Faith.
Surrender = The Art of Giving Up
How I found my lover (now my husband) accidentally through a Man-Fast experiment.
I use to be into assholes. Not by choice but subconsciously. All the guys I dated before were controlling, emotionally unavailable or/and abusive physically or verbally.
At first, I thought God had some conspiracy against me, but it was through a self-development class(the landmark forum), I found out I was not a victim, and I have to take responsibility for my life.
Why the hell don’t they teach this stuff in nursery school!
I learned that I was the problem, and I was the reason why all my relationships sucked. It wasn’t a conspiracy against me; these men didn’t know each other. The only common denominator among these jerks was me. So one day I decided to go on a man fast.
Something had to be done right now!!
If I didn’t reprogram my subconscious brain to love myself, I’m going to keep on attracting jerks.
I would rather be by myself than be miserable with someone else.
I accepted being alone, and that was sad for a while. I saw couples on the train snuggling and felt that gnawing longing for that experience; but I didn’t dwell on my lack or sadness for too long.
Confidence=Self Love
The secret sauce and when all hell broke loose
I loved my life because I started to be grateful for the things in my life I do enjoy. I was having loads of fun and had tons of friends. A lot of them I met during my Self-development class. We all shared in our trauma; we just realize we caused ourselves.
I threw myself into everything I loved the most — dance, laughter, my career & shooting the shit with friends. And not caring if he showed up tomorrow cause I’m so happy by myself right now. Now that’s crazy confidence.
Confidence is not “Will they like me .” Confidence is “I’ll be fine if they Don’t.” — Christina Grimme
Faith=Vision & Patience
If you build confidence, they will come.
The moment I started my Man fast, I enjoyed my life. All of a sudden, these men began coming to me, blowing up my cell phone. I don’t mean to boast, but this was incredible.
Through my Man-Fast, the energy of my confidence was like an attraction magnet.
It was crazy the amount of attention I was getting. You would think I had an AD tattooed on my forehead.
I’ve accidentally become The Pied Piper of HOT men! They were just coming out of the woodwork. I wouldn’t call it an official date, but I went out with all these gorgeous guys to parties just for fun. I was just having fun for the sake of fun.
Men were walking up to me out of nowhere asking me who I was. An amazing too good to be a true example of how random and almost ridiculously easy I attracted hot guys was the day I met my husband.
The Best is yet to come
The End( or Beginning ) of the Story
I found my husband at one of these parties through a BBQ invitation I received while I was backstage at a Living Color concert (the lead guitarist was my cousin):
I was on the train on my way to the BBQ minding my own business with my headphones on totally self-absorbed and breaking my neck to some dance track on my phone when I felt a shadow over me. When I looked up, I couldn’t believe my eyes; I saw the most gorgeous golden-skinned hazel-eyed, GQ magazine model-type, black Man I’ve ever seen! He was mouthing words to me, words I couldn’t hear. I thought I had died and gone to heaven.
When I realized he was talking to me, I quickly took out my air-buds blasting (deafeningly loud) music and apologized for ignoring him.
I couldn’t believe how hot he was and I couldn’t believe he was talking to me. I definitely couldn’t believe my ears when he said to me “ I want to go where you are going, you seem like so much fun.” I was astonished, but I was even more shocked when I heard my self say to a complete stranger, “ I’m going to a BBQ house party, you wanna go with me?”
He said, yes! I briefly closed my eyes and mentally prayed a quick prayer of thanksgiving that sounded something like this “YAAASSSS!”
He got off at the next stop with me, and we were Arm in Arm talking and walking on the way to the party like we’ve known each other for years!
I was so giddy with happiness; I felt like I was a bit tipsy except I had nothing to drink and was under no controlled substances. I was on a natural high. I was on cloud nine, but this story gets even better.
On our way to the party another amazingly, tremendously hot guy stopped us and asked where we were going!
We invited him to come to the party with us, which was now only a block away. I was beaming with pride and Holy Ghost light at this point. This felt like a lottery-winning experience.
As a side note:
If you really want to feel rich, just take account of those moments of time when you are bursting with positive emotion. Taking an account of all you appreciate is like an immediate anti depressant pill because those moments are your lottery winning experiences.
I entered the party balling like a badass rock star with two angelically gorgeous models on each arm. Plus I had two more friends waiting for me at the party. Just for the fun of it, we all knocked on the door at the same time laughing our butts off about something.
When the door opened, there was my future husband smiling at me…we locked eyes. My husband will tell me later that when he saw me for the first time, he was thinking “There she is!” Which didn’t make any sense to him at the time because he never met me before, but he felt like he knew me and loved me all his life.
I introduced my new friends to everyone at the party like I was the host and pretty much sat on my husband’s lap within minutes of walking into the house. We talked all night. Now we have two kids; the rest is history and drama for another article.
I couldn’t have imagined the kind of power surrender, confidence, and a little faith could do. I couldn’t have Orchestrated a better “ first time we met story”.
If this is the way God is going to go down, it’s so worth it to give up your plans for the future to the universe and trust that you’ll be guided in the right direction.
If you’ve been looking for someone to love, have a Lil Faith and Dream On!
More from me
