APOLOGY
Medium, I Apologize For Calling You Racist
Is make-up sex still on the table?
Dear Medium,
It is I, your Secret Santa. On the eve of Christmas, I come bearing you a gift.
After a year of publishing humor articles, I believe this apology is long due.
On May 14th, 2021, I published a piece below.
To summarize that article.
One of my pieces gained traction. It was a piece I published on March 10, 2021. The title was
Ku Klux Klan Pursued DeSean Jackson to Lead Their Diversity Initiatives
Before Kanye West and Kyrie Irving jumped on the anti-semitism bandwagon, there was a famous African American celebrity who first promoted such hate theories: DeSean Jackson. Given that I’m not a fan of hate of any kind, I wrote a piece that mocked him.
It’s a shame that DeSean was not named Kentavious Jackson. Kentavious, Kanye, and Kyrie can use their first initials to rebrand the KKK.
But I digress. I published that piece on March 10, 2021. That piece gained some traction, which got some haters. One of them was so offended that he/she reported my piece to Medium. My money is on DeSean Jackson himself.
Medium took down my piece 3 days after it was published. Here’s the response it gave me.
I was very confused by this email. Yes, I was shaming DeSean Jackson. But I was shaming his idiocracy and his hatred towards Jews. Was Medium anti-semitic?
I emailed them, but Medium didn’t respond. I was really confused as to why they chose to take down that specific piece, but allowed other pieces that could be considered “harassment” or “shaming” of these other people.
I know what you’re thinking. But Ellie, all the people you made fun of are monsters or idiots! They deserved to be shamed online!
Correct! That is what I do. I use humor to point out hypocrisies and egregious behavior of celebrities and politicians (who at this point are just celebrities). My goal is to point out things in society that are unacceptable for anyone to do. And to make people chuckle along the way.
I spared no expense in my joke. I make fun of anything, no matter how offensive it is.
- I had two pieces with “Rape” in their titles.
- I called out pedophile supporters
- I called out racists for their support of slavery
- I poked fun of drug addicts and retards…er I mean politicians
- I compared anti-vaxxers and cyber bullies to murderers
- I trashed wealthy celebrities for screwing poor people over just to make a quick buck
- I shamed celebrities for acting as if they’re above the law
Any one of these celebrities can call me out for harassment. So why are these pieces still up? Why is DeSean Jackson the exception for his abhorrent behavior?
Now, I think I have an answer.
On June 12, 2022, I published this piece below.
This is the same piece that got taken down in 2021. It’s been more than 6 months, but Medium still hasn’t taken it down.
What changed? The only difference I added was a swastika on DeSean Jackson. Turns out Medium was cancelling me because I was hiding a Nazi sympathizer.
I’m kidding. The reason is because I added this at the end of the article the second time around.
Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are ENTIRELY FICTIONAL (looking at you, Medium). It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now.
When I first published this piece, I didn’t have a disclaimer. I thought I wrote my pieces in a way so that people know it’s satire. Turns out I was wrong.
People didn’t know that what I wrote was satire, until they got to the disclaimer. They still fall for parody even to this day. Case in point, the comments for my prior piece Supreme Court Rules 5–4 To Legalize Child Pornography.
Even with the disclaimers, many people thought my stuff was real. I’m stunned, as I thought I wrote it in a way that it was clearly a joke.
That being said, I blame the current world for its lack of stopping the spread of misinformation. People get duped easily in this world.
- Less than 200 people stormed the Capitol in 2021 to fight against the presidential election being stolen by Donald Trump.
- NBA star Kyrie Irving skipped work last season to protest vaccine mandates, believing that vaccines are means for government to spy on people.
- Kanye West claimed he’ll go death con 3 on the Jews because he believed in the theory that black Jews are the real children of God.
- Nudist David DePape attacked Nancy Pelosi’s husband because he wanted to get rid of liars in office.
What do all of these people have in common? They all have NO CONCRETE EVIDENCE for support of their theories.
Except for DePape. Everyone knows that all politicians lie.
Still, there’s no evidence for any of these claims, so these are labeled as misinformation. However, people believed these unproven claims so much, that they decided to indirectly harm others.
- MAGA supporters risked the police officers’ suicide attempts by storming the capitol.
- Irving indirectly gambled on lives of unvaccinated people by promoting dangers of vaccines.
- West indirectly encouraged anti-Semitism violence by claiming that white Jews are fake.
- DePape encouraged violence against people with different beliefs as him.
Half of USA believed in a made up theory called QAnon. A theory that Trump was God’s savior to stop the liberal pedophiles from taking over the world. This theory originated on a 4Chan message board, where a couple of Internet trolls cherry picked a few photos to create a dark joke for the far-right. And people STILL let the joke fly over their heads.
Fortunately, Medium is more sensible. They took down my first piece down not because of its content or the idea I was mocking. It took it down because I didn’t tell people that I made it up.
Should I criticize them for that? Of course not! Without the disclaimer, some people may treat my writing as the next conspiracy theory to get behind. I doubt Medium wants to be responsible for people storming the Supreme Court under my writing.
So Medium, I’m sorry for calling you racist. Of course, this could have been resolved faster if you actually responded to my emails and line of questioning.
But thanks for leaving the rest of my work up! Despite the popularity of fake news, misinformation, and conspiracy theories, there is still a place for art that mocks society as a whole.
After all, satire is nothing more than conspiracy theories with disclaimers.
~ Ellie Salvaje
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