Medium.Coma’s SeXiest Man for January 2024 : Edward Swafford

Classic Medium’s SeXiest Men: January 2023: BichoDoMato and Smillew Rahcuef
I was reminded this morning, by my friend and Deluded Custodian co-founder, Cristina Cattai, and animal rescuer, Sarah Ouellet, of an app BichoDoMato created to colourize his wife’s farts. They were turquoise. Such a fond memory.
Last year, Bicho took a hiatus from Medium. Shortly after Medium’s own P.I., Victor Cardenas — successfully determining who was Yana Bostongirl’s Medium.crush — took on the case of the missing Bicho, he reappeared on April 1st to wow his followers with this coded message:
In regards to Bicho’s un-conjoined twin, Smillew: “Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to meet my Medium heroes in real life, and then there’s May More.” — Smillew Rahcuef in THE SMILLEW INTERVIEW.
The same can be said of Smillew. Does Smillew have seven shitbricks? Does Smillew have a beautiful American wife? Does Smillew build pillow forts? Does Smillew collect ceramic frogs? Why did I type Smillew so many times? Smillew likes seeing his name repeated eight to eighty times, which is why Debdutta Pal and I created Smillew wallpaper.
Back to the present. Debdutta Pal nominated Edward Swafford for January’s Medium.coma’s SeXiest Man.
I came across Edward in the aisles of Mediumverse when he wrote a story about Grandma Smillew. He’s funny, and that’s a checkmark in my book.
Many people write poetry (myself included), but Edward bleeds it. Reading them is like tasting a double rainbow. Have you ever wondered what the exact opposite of sensory deprivation feels like? You don’t need to anymore.
This one made me feel seen, and I honestly can’t believe I have a favorite.
Although he keeps coming for my best commenter title, dispensing dopamine hearts with his kind words, I still stand behind my nomination. — Debdutta Pal
Queen Raine Lore will be pleased.
Nominations are always welcome. Let me know in the responses.
