Learn How to Write a Great First Sentence From About Me Stories

What I learned skimming the opening of everything ever published in About Me Stories.

The first line is the most important to hook and reel in the readers so why do most people waste this precious bit of literary real estate in their About Me story?

Quy Ma is a genius for creating About Me Stories. He wasn’t the first to suggest the idea of posting a bio but he was the one to create a publication and encourage others to post there.

Many writers choose to pin their about me story to the top of their profile so anyone checking them out lands there first. Which is all the more reason to write a powerful opening. You would think everyone would come out swinging with their best shot.

Having spent the last few hours skimming the opening paragraphs of every single About Me Story in the publication, I can assure you most people do not nail the first sentence.

Roughly 90% of all About Me Stories begin one of two ways: “Hi, I’m Name” or “I hate writing about myself/ This is so hard.” There is nothing wrong with this but also nothing original, nothing to encourage you to keep reading.

As a public service no one requested, I’m going to give you all the best first sentences of About Me Stories according to my completely biased opinion. There are lessons to be learned for all of us about how to capture attention and highlight your brand as a writer quickly and effectively.

The line which inspired this story

I’d been checking out Eric Pierce’s profile as one does when coming across a writer whose work you are enjoying. I absolutely adored the first sentence in his About Me Story. I told him so in the comments and received this response.

A normal person would have clapped a time or two and moved on with their afternoon of reading and writing. But Eric’s reply got me thinking. Was his first sentence the best ever for an About Me story? How could I tell without reading them all?

Two, or maybe three hours later, I kind of lost count in there somewhere, I had read all the opening sentences in the entire publication.

First, here is the competition to beat heading into the fray, Eric’s opening sentence:

I was born 9 months after Star Wars premiered in 1977, which naturally suggests my mom’s womb quickened on its own after she saw the film.

I mean, really? You can see why I jumped to the perfection conclusion.

Lessons learned from the best first sentences

Every single one of the sentences quoted below captured my attention and made me want to read more. There are some powerful takeaways for writers no matter where you are getting published.

Originality matters

I could list a bunch of facts about myself, but I’m a lazy ass, so I made my family, friends, and some random people do it for me: — Sarah Lau Parker

I told my wife to make my obituary short and sweet. — Mark Tulin

I’m weird. — Heather Kinnane

My evolution into farming came out of mental illness. — Doreen Barker

Rarely will someone do what I did and compare your story straight up with hundreds of others written using the same prompt. Still, there is a lot of sameness going around in the writing world. Standing out is a strong advantage.

This is one of many reasons to listen when editors beg you to read several stories in a publication before submitting. While your story needs to fit the pub, you don’t want to sound like every other story in it.

Put a twist on a common formula to stand out

If you look on the satellite image of Google Maps and check out Six Nations Reserve №40, you’ll see a green space marked off by a grid. — ElizaBeth Hill

My life began beneath a shrub on a roundabout in Gants Hill, Essex, U.K. — Harry Hogg

I wrote my first stories back when I was in the single digits. — Danielle Loewen

One great way to be original is to take a common opening and tweak it a bit. Many people opened with a rather dull listing of where they were born or grew up. It’s important info in a bio after all. Elizabeth and Harry both upped the ante and made it interesting.

Likewise, several About Me Stories — including my own — start with a tale of writing at a young age. The simple use of “single digits” instead of listing an age caught my attention and elevated my estimate of Danielle from the start.

Provoke questions in the reader’s mind

I don’t know why I sound British. — Damon Ferrara

Raw meat, booze, on a counter, what could go wrong? — Keith R. Higgons

Who wouldn’t want to keep reading to get some answers? This is the main goal of sentence number one, after all, to get the reader to continue on to sentence two.

Promise a good story

Mom told me that when she was little, her mother used to dunk her head in a nearby stream to get her to stop crying in the middle of the night. — Jess Eunse

When I was in the second grade, I reported a boy named Adrian to the bully box. — Itxy Lopez

When I was 13 my mother paid me $20 to read Kafka’s The Metamorphosis. — Sol

Please, tell me more. What happened next?

Jump straight into the action

I used to be a good girl, otherwise known as a girl who only had nice things to say about the men around her and if she didn’t have anything nice to say then she better keep that shit to herself. — Suzanna Quintana

My first rejection as a writer came from a Reader’s Digest editor. — Michelle McAfee

Way too many of the stories I read wasted time with greetings, thanks for reading, etc. Get straight to the meat. I want to sense who you are and where you are going from the beginning. And I want it to be relatable.

A powerful sense of self is appealing

I turned f*cking 50 this year. — Mary Chang Story Writer

If you were to bump into my nineteen-year-old self, I’m pretty sure you’d think, “cocky little upstart!” — Malky McEwan

If I could synthesize my essence into a single phrase, I think it would be “well, this is awkward.” — Shain Slepian

Unapologetically owning who you are as a person and as a writer is incredibly attractive. These people nailed it.

You are selling yourself as a writer not just imparting information

Now, let me preface this by saying that I never physically killed anyone — which, I know, is not a suspicious thing to say at all. — Giulia Montanari

Though introducing myself under a nom de plume feels awkward at best and deceptive at worst, I can confidently say that my written work is more honest than what comes out of my mouth in person. — Scarlett Jess Perrodin

Many stories started with a dry list of roles: writer, parent of three, basketball player, etc. Giulia and Scarlett in very different ways are telling you something interesting about themselves that leaves you wanting more info.

Harness the power of tropes or specific works of fiction

I would’ve preferred to open the story in medias res of a desperate situation, followed by a vinyl record scratch, a frame freeze, and a voiceover of me saying “Yup, that’s me. You might be wondering how I got here…”. — Loudt Darrow

When I was fourteen, I watched Scott Pilgrim vs. The World for the first time. — Austin Harvey

If my life were a movie, I would be the weird introvert girl who gives herself pep talks before bracing herself for an interaction with a stranger. — Mehak Anjum Siddiquei

When you are an unknown, referencing a character, or situation everyone can understand helps the reader understand you. I’ve never even seen Scott Pilgrim, but Austin’s opening makes me want to read more and figure out why this movie was so meaningful he would mention it as the first point in his own introduction.

Use words in an interesting way

You see, I would quite like it all, that’s the overriding thing about me — I really would quite like to have it all, as all the ball-busting ceiling-smashing shoulder-padded business women of the 1980s promised me I could; I’d like to trip-trap-trip between glossy offices in my patent heels and pencil skirts, making deals and being very important. — Em Unravelling

If you don’t like dogs, startups, coastlines, and a healthy dose of sarcasm, I may not be your cup of salted almond milk cold foam iced coffee with 9 pumps of sugar-free vanilla syrup, 7 packets of salt, and 2 Splenda (Starbucks baristas, you are the real MVPs). — Rachel Greenberg

I’m a sucker for a long but understandable sentence. I appreciate wordplay and creativity. Em had me at ‘trip-trap-trip’ing and Rachel delighted me with her detailed substitution for a cup of tea. Both give you a nice preview of the kind of fun with writing you can expect if you keep reading.

Make every word count

I spent a good portion of my life raising four children (in what I describe as my conservative Christian period) only to get divorced. — Cat Stravino

There is so much detail in this one sentence: where Cat comes from, what she has experienced, and a strong hint of how she feels about it.

Show don’t tell

I’m the bag lady pulling a red wagon with a bucket and shovel out in the rolling barren hills of my small rural town. — Bobbi Lynn Gibson-Bachelor of Arts

My childhood was consumed by imagining houses, automobiles and amusement parks, then by making them come to life with paint, wood, markers, popsicle sticks, hot glue and cardboard. — John M Smith

Finally the classic. Bobbi and John paint a vivid picture with their words. I immediately envision the entire scene. Why are you the bag lady Bobbi? Where did this childhood lead you, John? I’ve entered your world and want to learn more.

And the winner is…

I stand by my initial gut call. Eric Pierce’s clever conception-by-Star-Wars opening gambit is the best. I could write another entire story about this one paragraph. Instead, I’ll urge you to go read his about me story.

Go read all of these awesome writer’s stories. I have linked each story to the first word of their quotation.

Does every first sentence of every story you write need to be an absolute winner? No, but it doesn’t hurt. Mama always told me first impressions matter. She’s right.

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