About Me

A writer with a secretly soft heart.

When I was in the second grade, I reported a boy named Adrian to the bully box. I grabbed a piece of paper, wrote down the problem, and then slipped it into the box as I stared him in the eye.

What was the problem? He wasn’t actually bullying me. He was just really annoying. He kept singing the Itsy-Bitsy Spider, and my seven-year-old self was losing her mind.

Even at seven I’d heard the joke too many times: “Your name’s Itxy? Like the Itsy-Bitsy-Spider?”

“Yes,” I’d say through gritted teeth. “Just like that.”

Sadly, the X in my name throws everyone off, especially online. The only way to explain how to pronounce my name? “It’s like the song...” So that’s what I’m going to tell you.

Hi. I’m Itxy. Like the Itsy-Bitsy Spider.

Technically, Itxy is my nickname.

My full-name is eight letters: Itxayana — but don’t ask me how to pronounce it because I have no idea how to explain it. (Plus, it doesn’t sound as pretty when you say it without the accent.)

It’s why I stuck to Itxy. It’s simple and everyone can say it.

Other than my name, I’ve never stuck to “simple.” I don’t like easy or normal or safe or same. I dream big dreams. I want to be rich. I want to be published with Simon and Schuster or Penguin Random House. I know none of these things will make me happy, but I want them anyway.

I’m only four feet, eleven inches, but I dream like I’m a giant who can destroy all the obstacles in her path with a single stride.

Of course, reality isn’t that simple.

My reality is that some days I am powerful and some days I am weak. I used to think that was a bad thing until I remembered: I’m a writer. I can be powerful and weak and everything in between because this will give me more to write about.

That’s what my thoughts revolve around: Can I write about this? Sure, I think a lot about all the cute queer couples I ship and how much longer before I can eat food again, but always that question.

When I read. When I’m watching Scandal or listening to a Tim Ferriss podcast. When my sisters and I belt our lungs out to Hamilton songs. When my brother asks me a question like “How does a pad work?” When my dad convinces me to do it now instead of waiting. When my mom tells me a story about when she was a teenager. How can I write about this?

And it’s so funny because I never wanted to be a writer. I wasn’t the kid who wrote short stories in her spare time or snuck in short poems in her notebook during class. I liked to sing. I played the violin. I liked to read. I liked to draw (very badly). But I didn’t like to write.

I started writing for one reason: because I had nothing else to do.

After high school, I decided I wasn’t going to go to college. I didn’t like school, plus I didn’t want to pursue any typical job. I was an artist — I just didn’t know what type of artist yet.

My senior year I started a “Self-Improvement Club.” (It didn’t do too well.) Anyway, since I was out of high school and had no plans my dad said, “Why don’t you start a blog and talk about self-improvement?” I gagged at the idea. I didn’t know how to blog, how to write — I didn’t care. But what else was I going to do?

So, I started it and I ran it for three years. I wrote a lot. I liked it, but it wasn’t passion. No, that came later: when I started writing fanfiction. Halfway through that journey, I saw my bloodied fingers and the bags under my eyes and gasped: “Oh my God. I’m a writer.”

Okay. It didn’t happen like that. But everything else is true. I wrote just for the hell of it, and it took years for me to love it.

Now, I’m here.

Medium is my favorite-st platform ever. I love that I can talk about writing and creativity and self-help and also all my insecurities (there are a lot of those).

But I’m still learning. I still don’t really know how to write good headlines. I get insecure and jealous of other writers sometimes. I get bored. But this is my writerly-home now, and even if Medium doesn’t want me, they’re stuck with me. (Sorry, Medium.)

Writing aside, I’ve met amazing people I now know I can probably never live without. (Love you guys.)

I’m also working on my first fiction novel. It’s actually really, really hard. Like, I-want-to-give-up-please-tear-up-the-contract-I-signed hard. Unfortunately, to quote Shawn Mendes: giving up is not in my blood. I literally can’t do it unless I have a valid reason. Yay!

So, I write.

God. That’s so much talk about writing, right?

Let’s talk about something else. Here are a bunch of random facts you might find interesting. (I got this fun idea from my fab friend Anangsha Alammyan.)

1. I’m twenty-three, but I don’t have my license. (Fun fact: I had to look up how to write “license.”) I’ve taken my permit test twice, but never took the driver’s test because I’m scared of failing.
2. I’m super gay. (I don’t actually like calling myself gay because I want to normalize the word “lesbian” but saying “I’m super lesbian” doesn’t sound as great.)
3. I don’t understand why queer people feel the need to tell other people we’re queer, but I kinda like it? Whatever.
4. I played the violin for four years and the saxophone for six months. I’d kill to play them both again.
5. My favorite author used to be Stephen King, but now it’s Fredrik Backman because Backman makes me feel all the things. I highly recommend Beartown.
6. Need a show recommendation? I think The Haunting of Hill House and How to Get Away With Murder are the best of all time.
7. Inception is my comfort film. I’ve seen it at least 15 times.
8. One of my sisters made me laugh so hard once that milk came out of my nose.
9. I love tattoos, but I hate getting them. It hurts, and anyone who says it doesn’t is lying.
10. I want to live in New York City. And Venice, Italy. And Amsterdam. I want to live everywhere.

Wow, as I wrote this I realized something: I love talking about myself.

It’s so easy. How egotistical, I know, but we all love talking about ourselves, so you can’t even say anything.

Enough about me. If you’d like to be my friend (please be my friend) and tell me about yourself, feel free to follow me on Twitter or message me on Facebook. You can read more of my work here. And you can, well, that’s it.

Thanks for sticking around and reading.