ENTERTAINMENT, SOCIAL INJUSTICE
Kanye West Vows To Rape A Jew As Part Of His Social Sculpture
His “beautiful dark twisted fantasy”
The last time someone got away with rape for art was Marlon Brando in Last Tango in Paris. This time, history repeats itself with another celebrity whose image is as big as Brando’s.
Kanye West woke up from his nap to tell us about his next art piece. We were confused why West would reach out to us for artistic feedback. We stopped caring about his music ever since he released the Donda Chant.
We responded that we weren’t interested in his new album. West laughed.
“Na. I’m not dropping another album. I’m talking about my social sculpture. My artistic piece that critiques society’s absurdity.”
Intrigued, we asked West what he was planning. West grinned.
“Imma pick a random day in Times Square. Imma accost random Jewish woman. Imma beat her till she falls down. When she’s either unconscious or unable to fight back, I will take off her clothes. Imma penetrate her in public with every stranger watching.”
We asked this “visionary” why he would even think of doing such a despicable act. West grinned.
“I do certain things from a feeling, I just channel the energy. It just feels right. It’s using a gut instinct, a connection with God and just brilliance. God and I both agree that this rape is a work of art.”
We asked West how this was even art. West grinned.
“We live in the me-first era. Instagram. TikTok. Snapchat. People want to be famous by posting videos of anything. From war violence to throwing up spaghetti. Everyone wants his/her 15 minutes of fame.
“You think people will stop me from raping a girl in public? HELL NO. They’ll be shocked that a famous dude like me will be performing this act. Some will even think the rape is fake.
“I guarantee. People will pull out their iPhone 14 Pros to record me raping an innocent bystander. They don’t care about stepping in and helping out the victim. They just wanna to record her abuse for internet clout. Or land a directing gig at House of the Dragon because they ‘know’ how to film sexual violence.
“Even if they’re disgusted by what I’ve done, they’re still not gonna step in and stop me. These weak ass pussies would rather go home and tweet this shit in hopes of cancelling me. They think they’re heroes because they ‘silenced’ me on the internet. So stick and stones don’t break your bones, but words will always hurt ya?
“This rape is not only attacking fame chasing. It’s also attacking cancel culture. If you say anything out of the line with the agenda, then your career could be over. Even if you didn’t commit a crime! Roman Polanski’s been saying all the right things, even though he drugged and raped a 13 — year old. How come he’s still in Hollywood, but Gina Carano ain’t?”
We asked the billionaire if this “art” was worth getting on the sex offender list. West grinned.
“Please. I can’t be a rapist if I rape a woman ironically.”
We told West that we don’t care if he was doing it “ironically.” The woman didn’t consent to West’s actions. By textbook definition, West is a rapist if he goes through with his plan. West grinned.
“Bitch, you forgetting something? I AM A GOD! I can do anything! No one can stop me!
“Can a God turn sneakers into a luxury commodity? Can a God become the greatest musician in history? Can a God give birth to Pete Davidson through his penis?
“I am BETTER than God. If God can get away with anything, so can I. I can definitely rape women without being called a rapist. Cancel culture will forgive me only if I say the right things.”
We asked the entrepreneur why he selected a Jew. West chuckled.
“I told the public that I’m going death con 3 on Jewish people. It didn’t mean I wished any harm on my fellow Jewish people. There’s so many Black musicians signed to Jewish record labels and those Jewish record labels take ownership of the culture itself. Imma bring back that culture to Black people when I rape a Jew for artistic merit.”
We told the hip hop mogul that his quote is anti-Semitic. West chuckled.
“The funny thing is I actually can’t be anti-Semitic because black people are Jews also. White Jews are the fake Jews. Black people are the real Jews.
“Holdup. I just thought of this right now. Instead of raping a white Jew, I should just rape a black woman. No one gives a shit about black women. Else, R. Kelly would have been in jail since 2003.
“I rape a black girl in public, there is a 100% chance that no one will step in to interfere. This is a perfect representation of how marginalized black women are. And how we need to treat them better with more kindness and respect.
“Oh shit! What a triple crown of societal critiques! I’m attacking society for cancel culture, internet clout chasing, and black women marginalization. I’m such a genius! Only I could come up with this kind of stuff!”
We asked West why he would even tell us this. We vowed to report this to the police, who will prevent West from carrying this act out. West laughed.
“First, my act is so outrageous. People will not believe I’ll go through with this. They’ll think I’m saying shit to get a rise out of them. Just like I did with my ‘White Lives Matter’ merchandise.
“Second, you think people will believe YOU? You’re a satirist. You bullshit for a living! Nobody is EVER gonna to believe you. You’re the perfect person for me to get this off my chest with.
“Go ahead. Tell the police everything I said. Tell your followers what I said. But remember. No one can’t tell me nothing.”
Disclaimer: All characters and events in this article, even those based on real people and events, are entirely fictional. It is written to poke fun at the subjects mentioned. It is satire. For now.
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