Are You Being Kind to Yourself?

Here’s how to make it easy

“Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.” — Lisa M. Hayes

Hello, beloved Pub Family and anyone else who drops in! Here we are at the beginning of yet another new calendar year, some of us eager to leave the previous one behind, others anticipating what lies ahead. Perhaps you are in both camps — or neither.

Although I do appreciate this time of year to reflect on where I’ve been and where I’d like to go, I’m not a fan of “new year’s resolutions.” Sticking with any sort of life change or habit change is often dependent upon willpower, which is impossibly fickle because it is so easily impacted by emotions.

As soon as we’re stressed or sleep-deprived, we’re primed and ready for emotions to derail our best intentions. And who doesn’t experience stress or poor sleep? Only the unconscious, I suppose. Uh, I’m guessing that’s not you.

So you get slammed by a few miserable nights, or perhaps a smack upside the head with some distressing news and oops! Your willpower becomes an Olympic runner and is out the door and 42 miles away before you’ve even realised what hit you.

And we all know what happens when we make resolutions. The first mistake is in thinking they mean we can NEVER SLIP UP!! If we make one mistake, fall of the diet wagon or skip the gym once, that’s it. We’re done. Oh, no, we didn’t stick to the exact (and ridiculously impossible) plan! We blew it for another year, and it all goes tits up till the next January 1st.

STOP THAT!

Scrap your “resolutions.” Ditch the impossible notion that you are not allowed to mess up, to make a mistake, to have a bad day, or fall off whatever wagon you’ve put yourself on. Jeez, Louise! I can promise you, that is not the last chance you’ll ever have to take steps toward your goals!

A little perspective, People!

Instead, how about cutting yourself some slack? How about being kind to yourself and promising that you’ll do your best each day to achieve whatever specific goals are important to you? How about letting go of the unrealistic demands and expectations you’ve got chained to your neck?

How about no longer dragging around all the self-recrimination and thoughts of failure that have been plaguing you for years? They sure as heck haven’t helped you feel better about yourself. They haven’t made you follow through on those unreasonable promises you swore you’d keep this time.

Look, it’s hard enough to make those big changes that require a shift in habits, lifestyle, perspective or priorities. If you want your best chance at making any sort of positive improvements in your life — whether you choose January 1st or any other specific day, event or occasion on which to begin — it’s a lot easier if you start from a place of feeling at peace with yourself and where you are right now.

It’s also a lot easier if you stop giving your power to those self-recriminations. Beating yourself up will get you absolutely nowhere — except to feel worse than when you started.

You cannot create positive change from such a negative foundation!

I have just the thing to help you turn it around.

Many years ago, I created a guided meditation for healing and empowerment. As we embark on New Calendar Time Again, I’m offering it as a gift to anyone who might like to give it a try. It’ll take you away to a beautiful tropical paradise, a place of peace and healing. Enjoy the vivid imagery that’ll help you begin to release and let go of old wounds, and to feel like you’ve regained a sense of power and control again.

Click on the link below to access it, and to receive 100% off, make sure you use the Discount Code MEDIUMGIFT on checkout. 💜

Stop beating yourself up. Don’t jump into another year, dragging along anything that should be left behind. Time to set aside negative self-talk, useless promises, and anything that keeps you chained to old pain.

Begin today — whatever the date when you’re reading this — with a new, or renewed outlook on the future, with your heart filled with hope and a desire to heal what needs healing so you can create the life of your dreams.

And if you’re already on that track, no doubt you’re sharing your light and helping others find theirs. Blessings and best wishes to you — to all of you, wherever you are on the journey.

You are loved and deeply appreciated for all you are, and for all you are not. 💜

The Invitation:

I would love to see your submissions on anything that came up for you on reading this. Do you beat yourself up for “not being good enough” or for making mistakes? Do you give yourself grief for your perceived “failures”?

What are your thoughts and feelings about resolutions? Do you find yourself having a “clean slate” mentality at this time of year? Do you struggle with it, or is it helpful to you?

Just a few ideas to get you thinking — but whatever comes up for you will be perfect.

Witchy’s Corner

Well, our little blue friend was overjoyed (as was I!) by the number of responses to her contest idea, and by how good they were! Wow, those of you who entered were on fire! Such a range of creativity and imagination — and in so many different directions — it was a joy to see people stepping out of their comfort zones and producing stories that covered everything from serious and thoughtful topics to hilarious ones that had the judges giggling like little kids (and having a heck of a time deciding on a short list, and a winner!).

Thanks so much again to those of you who entered! You all did a great job.

Are you ready for Witchy’s next idea?

She had another one in mind until about 3.00 this morning. Suddenly, she was tapping at my door, hoping it wasn’t too late to change her mind … as if I was up and working on the newsletterish at that time (well, I guess it’s not like I haven’t done that before …)

Apparently, she had been wandering through the woods “being thinky,” as she put it, when a new idea made her rush over and tell me.

Are you ready? Buckle up…

January Contest — Prize is $50 USD

For some time, Witchy has wondered about a particular question. She’s asked a person or two about it in the past, and thought this could be a great opportunity to discover more possible answers.

Witchy wonders … what do you think it’s like to be a tube of lipstick?

Now … imagine all the ways in which you could create a story out of this. What kind of lipstick is it? Gloss? Matte? What colour? Black? Green? Fire-engine red?

Who is using it? A 104-year-old woman (maybe she has a hot date!)? A teen-aged boy? A little kid? A turtle? A clownfish? A drag queen preparing for a show? “Boy George” in his heyday, circa 1980s?

Where is this lipstick? Is it stuck in the bottom of a handbag? Forgotten in the zippy pocket of a suitcase for 57 years and languishing in a dusty old attic? Is it brand new one, eager to be used, but trapped way in the back of a drug store shelf, perhaps?

Use your imagination. Let it run wild! Keep in mind the fun and playful, sweet spirit of Witchy as you write a minimum of 300 words for this story.

Here are the details:

• You’ve gotta be one of HHH’s writers
• Stories must be at least 300 words in length
• Submitted to Hope, Healing and Humour (draft only, as usual, please)
• The writer who submits the funniest or most imaginative, creative story will win $50 USD (you must have a valid Paypal or Ko-fi account to receive this prize)
• Deadline: 30 January, 2024, midnight MST
• Winner announced on Saturday, 3 February, 2024

Here are the results of the December contest:

Thank You!

Witchy and I would love to thank those of you who follow her publication, The Witchy One! She’s excited that a few days ago, she hit her first 100 followers!! Yay! 🎉🎁

She’s been so patient while I’ve been recovering for the past 14 months, and she’s excited that we will be writing stories again soon!!

In the meantime, the link below contains a few sweet, very short stories to warm your heart, make you smile, and to help you get to know our little blue friend (note: it also contains some jokes, but please don’t tell her I called them that! To her, they are simply her drawings about what she’s learning in her new life!):

Wow!! Once again, we received several beautiful submissions! Thank you so, so much to those of you who contributed your stories, articles and poems in the past week (well, at any time in the past, of course!).

Take a look at this impressive line-up, and please show these stories and writers some love!

J Oliver Dempsey has written a poignant piece of fiction as told from the perspective of an elderly widow:

Sam Letterwood added another contribution to Witchy’s contest, quick before it ended!

Zeenat Merchant Syal, M.A, M.Sc offers some beautiful and interesting suggestions about how to review the past year and how to take that information with you into the new one! I especially loved a few particularly unusual ideas!

AJ tells a powerful and completely relatable story of hope and inspiration that I’m sure pretty much everyone will understand:

Carolina Smith contributes a thought-provoking piece on polarity … or … is there really such a thing?? Take a look:

Sheri Jacobs shares an incredibly powerful piece on the co-dependency dance, what it looks like — up close and personal — how it impacts us, and what we can do about it:

Maria Rattray offers helpful information from a variety of sources to help women who are suffering with a terribly painful and overlooked disease:

Vera-Marie Landi would love to do away with large stores … and I can’t say I blame her!

Carrie Kolar gave away a piece of her heart … and never got it back … I’m sure we can all relate to this one!

Binky Ink Writing shares a sweet and helpful story about healing trauma, with the loveliest suggestion to make it easier:

Grace Delphia’s take on New Year’s resolutions is a must-read, especially for anyone who is struggling and on a journey of healing:

Thanks so much to all the brilliant writers in our Pub Family! Have I told you lately how much I appreciate you? I do. I really, really do! Thank you for your ongoing support of Hope, Healing and Humour, and of each other, and for your own unique contributions to making Medium such a beautiful place to be.

Till next week …

Your loving editor, Liberty — and Witchy!

Tagging our beloved Pub Family!

Kris Bedenian Rodney Brazier Patti Murray Voncannon Carrie Kolar Croix Sather Deb Fiore Dina Alexander DL Nemeril Donnette Anglin Loren Lieberthal Jimmy Misner Jr. Judy Millar Julie Gaeta Pene Hodge Karen Schwartz James Knight Dr. Preeti Singh Radhika Iyer Sam Branstner Umme Salma Tamil T Mann Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles Lion~ Wendy S. Bradfield Yana Bostongirl Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox Suma Narayan Penny Walsh Shameem Anwar Irene Fassler Sandy Peckinpah Trista Signe Ainsworth Slow train Ashley Nicole B.R. Shenoy Carolyn Hastings Christina Christine Vann, MSc. Ellie Jacobson Isabel Young Kaz Rochford Nia Simone McLeod Nicole Hilbig Patricia Wright Pam Winter Jodian Marie Thomas, MS, Bsc, Asc L Burton Danielle Hestand Sahil Patel Malky McEwan Barbara Cook Tyra Jaide Eko BP Drashti Shroff Evergreen Eden Bernie Pullen Rhea Anglesey CARMEN F MICSA Robin Oakman Mary Vraa Libby Shively McAvoy Kristina God Niall Leah Debbra Lupien, Voice of the Akashic Records Toya Qualls-Barnette Vashni Stories Dawn :) Divya Goswami BichoDoMato Evon Carole Olsen Sharon Sayler, Author Jennifer Dunne Kylie van Gelder Neha Sonney, Author Christina Sponias Ian Hanson JF Danskin Patrick OConnell Mary V Elvie Lins❤️ Carmellita Gauri Sirur Kristie Leong M.D. IJaveria Ansari Asim Nori Dipo Adebayo Andreia Damian Jenine Bsharah Baines Jodi Marie Mahein Kazi Mario López-Goicoechea Raine Lore Vishal Mehta Aarti Tailor A Rustic Mind (Manali Desai) Mona S Gable Anne Emerick Andra Forbes Anaya Nosso Kasturi Patra Mary B Mel Janecka Rebecca Romanelli Life not abrupt (L.n.a.) Rebecka Rose Hollie Petit, Ph.D. Michael Mallen Gauri Sirur Raine Lore Penny Walsh CARMEN F MICSA, MA in English, podcaster Mary V Marilyn Flower Srini James Beaufait Joe Merkle Rupa Mahanti Binky Ink Writing Trisha Faye John Antony Mario López-Goicoechea Sherry Atkinson Seda Anbarcı Ella de Jong Katherine Myrestad HAPPINESS + WEALTH ⭐ Nathan Chen Zeenat Merchant Syal, M.A, M.Sc Ben Ulansey Brandon Kam Victoria Kjos J Oliver Dempsey Binky Ink Writing Karen Schwartz AJ Carrie Kolar TzeLin Sam Sally Prag Jenine “Jeni” Baines Vera-Marie Landi Alan (AJ) Autistic Widower Rebecca A Emrich Grace Delphia Simply Sophia Sheri Jacobs Ella de Jong Tamara Embrey Trisha Faye Carolina Smith Janet Meisel Elena dL Daniel Ng JonesPJ Nathan Chen Amir Bibi Rick Allen Helen Gilmore Marcus aka Gregory Maidman OCTAVIA EVER AFTER Qaiser Khan Benighted Sharon Johnson Julie KingGood Nina Sklansky Debbie Soderberg Kirchner Jolka Maria Rattray Shereen Bingham Kyle Wells Cristina Cattai Charisse Tyson Sam Letterwood