TRANSGENDER
Is This Transition Hump Month?
Four months since I started T
In this edition (click for quick links)
The fouth month in review Other changes Are you my peeps? Are you new here? The daily journal
The fourth month in review
Month four has been messy! I entered into a state that Kristy Westaway aptly named existential ambivalence.
It went like this:
Day 1: My life? What does my life matter? What do I matter? What does anything matter? Nothing matters.
Day 2: I have no fucks. I’m out. Nope. Not one. Whatever. Don’t care.
Day 3: I have no fucks to give about nothing mattering.
It’s not just that I don’t matter, it’s that nothing I do matters because ultimately, there is no legacy to leave or difference to make, because ultimately, Earth and humans will disappear. So nothing matters.
But I don’t particularly care! Now, the twist! So if nothing matters and I don’t care, then why the hell don’t I just do whatever the fuck makes me happy? Well, ok then!
Here’s an overview of the changes I noticed this month on T based on a list of possible changes (FOLX Health, 2020). Areas with noticeable changes are bolded and I’ve included a quick link to the Daily Journal entry where I share more.
- Deepened voice: It’s going down, to Alphabet Street!
- Changes to monthly periods/regular bleeding: Argh! Look, I’m no longer being Dr Phibes (if you know, you know), but right now, I’m not sure if my levels are out.
- Facial and body hair growth: *Eye roll*
- Increased muscle mass/strength
- Body fat redistribution from hips and thighs: I feel like my hips have shaped down.
- Clitoris growth/bottom growth: The only change is frustration.
- Increased skin oiliness or acne
- Baldness or hair thinning
- Increased libido
- Coarser skin
- Increased sweating
- Increased appetite
- Weight gain/fluid retention
- Chest tissue atrophy
- Weakening of tendons
- Thickening of facial bone structure
Other changes
Outside of the possible physical changes listed above, I’ve also experienced the following (links to daily journal entries):
- I had the T flu or covid but I was never able to get a test in time to find out!
- I tried to take off from being trans and it DID NOT go well
- GT asked me, “What else?” and it blew my mind!
- I discovered an unexpected ally when a friend IRL found my TikTok!
- I realized that my ‘fear’ of authority was actually a lack of trust
Are you my peeps?
If you are on T, are considering going on T, waiting to start T, been on T for years, trans-masc with no intention of going on T, trans at all in any of our many forms, non-binary, a trans ally, or someone with an interest in trans education, please, stick around. I’m sharing this journey because there is not enough representation. When I started questioning gender, it was a struggle to find the information I needed and I want to help, someone.
Are you new here?
If you’ve only just found me, welcome to my journey as a trans-masc non-binary person. I’ve been writing about my journey since I started questioning my gender. It all started here:
On October 2nd, 2021, I began hormone replacement therapy and the article you are reading right now is to commemorate my TWO MONTHS on T! I’ve been keeping a daily journal. Every day, I share a short post, and every week, I reflect on my changes and experiences. I also post monthly updates like this one. You can read everything here:
You can read more about me and access a quick link catalog to all of my articles right here:
Reference:
FOLX Health, 2020, Expected Physical Changes with Testosterone HRT, Nov 12, viewed Nov 2 2021, https://www.folxhealth.com/library/testosterone-hrt-physical-changes
