If You Give More Passion to Something Else than Your Spouse

No one’s personality is lethargic, so why do people act dead?

There is something that can get everyone riled up. There’s something for everyone. Sports can do it for many people. So, why don’t we give it to our spouse? A lot of mom’s do great with giving it to their kids, too. What makes us hold back? Fear?

We see it when people take more care of themselves to get ready for work, than for fancy dates with their spouse. We see it in other places, too, more intimate places.

Why do people act dead?

Men and women alike want a spouse that will take ownership of the time with the other. And make it fun and playful. From my experience in mental health, I never met anyone who was not playful that did not have a preconceived idea, trauma, or another viewpoint to being playful. Let me be the first to tell you, it’s normal — but it does take practice, just like anything else. The key to being playful is confidence in your hunt, tease, and frisk. Holding back is a turn off.

A story comes to mind, when a wife once asked her husband why he was never in the mood. It turned out that she lost her feminine flame and he was too cautious to say anything — didn’t want to be rude. For him, when she acted like she was not turned on, that was a turn off for him. She lost the play. Men want to know that their actions are doing something.

And there are stories on women’s side, too, of course. Both men and women can lose their fire, or maybe they’ve never had intimate fire to begin with. Women want to know, same as men, but women also need to know that just walking in the room does something to men (ha-ha!)

How Weird is This?

It’s weird for me to even bring up that there is always a “build up”. This build up is a communication that relays to other what roads you are traveling.

If you lay there dead, that means “leave me alone”, but taking that lead and playing with it in your biology gets things heated up. But, in all those romantic choreographed pictures of her jumping on him on the couch or him picking her up surprisingly that we all like, there is a reason for that. That is communication. She was comfortable expressing excitement and jumping on him.

It’s odd to think we need to talk with people about teasing. Teasing is one of those things that we are talking about. That relays “come, let’s go”.

Both, men and women want the other ALIVE. Even, acted out passion. We can’t ask the other, “why are you ____?” if we can’t even act it out when they want it, so when we want it, it is then returned.

Men

When it comes men, here is a little guide.

I’m going to show you a picture and relate the picture to what I’m talking about.

On the chest part of the uniform you see black images or icons. Each image is a small patch, called badges, that represents a US Army school or award (the top one is a CIB or Combat Infantry Badge and that is awarded when someone in the infantry or Special Forces has been in combat). Each school takes intellect and grit. In the Army, someone is judged by their chest and arms. Female soldiers will even chase men who have 3 or more badges — it’s a turn on. It means something.

On the arm you see tabs and a unit patch. We’re not going to worry about the unit patch, just the tabs. Top tabs reads “Special Forces”, 2nd “Ranger”, and 3rd “Airborne”. The top two tabs are two of the Army’s top schools. Those schools change your identity. In the Army you are called “soldier”, after Special Forces or any other name (Ranger, Sapper, Delta, etc.) that is who you are. You are Special Forces, Ranger, etc. The last tab is Airborne and means you have jumped from planes.

Same thing for relationships. I don’t care what your personality is, the biology of your significant is still turned on the same way, if they are healthy in mind, body, and spirit. I want to see lots of badges on your chest and I want to read “Husband” or “Wife” on your shoulder, not “Roommate”. Just as Special Forces lives Special Forces, they also die Special Forces.

If Special Forces Operators are more dedicated to their assigned Special Forces unit, than a spouse is to their spouse, I’m not happy. I want to see spouses win the tournament like they have “a pair”. Don’t let Special Forces win!

Conclusion

Give the other a chemical reaction they’ve never had before (obviously, the chemical reaction needs to be in the applied sciences we are talking about and complimentarily with their biology) and always give your spouse more excitement than you give to others.

Have a cologne or a perfume that is ONLY for the home. Prepare yourself for them more than you would for work. We’re not saying you have to every single time like a cult, but at least once a month. It reinforces that you love them more that the love that is now seemingly disproportionate and will eventually fade.

Communication goes beyond words. I wouldn’t care if my wife says something, but without the actions to show it, we’re only going through the motions.

I’ve heard from past clients, more than one, “I’ve told them [their spouse] to not let their stress kill the flame.”

There is a way for men and women to get distracted from stress, but that usually goes back to whether you have a spouse that leads it. I know when I’m stressed I can’t get out of it myself, in order to give attention. I need them to have a spark that snaps me out of it. I want someone with 5-badge chest and the word “Wife” on her shoulder. If I’m feeling down, she’s looks at her chest and says, “I got this, I’ve been to Joshua Lyon Wife Schools and got my sexy badges. I’m the only one who can.”

Get confident in your skin and love like you have a future you’re building! The greatest mansions took more time than a simple sand castle cookie-cutter bucket. Get some grit and be willing to step out of your comfort zone to obtain those badges.

What makes them get going, give it to them!

P.S.

To know the basics, just learn the psychology of male or female. Men like women, women like men. Be the other. Dr. Louann Brizendine has books you can read.

The Female Brain:

The Male Brain:

Thank you for reading! Thank you for sharing!! Thank you for positive comments!!!