Part of the Personal Awakening Series

I Don’t Have to “Like” Everything, but I Do “Love” Everything

[Updated September 7, 2022] “There is no right or wrong, but right is right, and wrong is wrong” — Soen Sa Nim.

Non-Medium members can access this full article paywall-free here.

“I don’t have to ‘like’ everything, but I do ‘love’ everything.” — Lincoln Gergar

Contents

[0] A Common Reaction [1] The Diversity of Everything [2] The Oneness of Everything [3] Conditional Love (Diversity) [4] Unconditional Love (Oneness) [5] Spiritual Awakening — [5.1] An Expanding Universe — [5.2] A New Earth [6] The Relative Ego & the Absolute Soul — [6.1] Spiritual Activism as our Dharma — [6.2] Spiritual Bypassing or Both/And

[0] A Common Reaction

A common reaction I receive to this topic is something like,

“Yes, I can love those whose political views are opposite mine, but I draw the line when it comes to murders, rapists, and abusers”.

A quick response for those who are more physicalists/materialists than spiritualists is to suggest that to have compassion for a wrongdoer is to love the person, while not liking their actions. Compassionate legal systems, for example, hold wrongdoers accountable for their actions, but also treat them as human beings.

For example, this article suggests that ‘open’ prisons, in which detainees are allowed to live like regular citizens, should be a model for the U.S.

The rest of this article is a more spiritually oriented explanation of how we can love, but not like something. In those terms, a more precise way to state the title of this article is:

As my ego-self, I don’t have to like everything, but as my absolute-self I do love everything.

We cannot, and should not even try to, express unconditional love from our ego-self. Our ego is naturally self-centered and will turn such a fake attempt into either spiritual bypassing (denying the suffering of others) or spiritual narcissism (increasing the ego’s self-importance). Instead, we should allow the ego to like and dislike based on the personality it has taken on in this incarnation.

We do spiritual practice to develop our higher states of consciousness in which unconditional love is a reality. That is what awakening and enlightenment are all about — finding our true, absolute self.

The ego will always be the ego, living in a world of separation and judgments. It is only in that ego-less absolute-self state of consciousness that we can truly know oneness and express pure unconditional love. That is our pathway to a New Earth.

[1] The Diversity of Everything

Our experience of human life on Earth is one of diversity. Everything that we perceive and experience in our human form is separate and different from us. Each person, animal, and plant has a distinct personality and perspective on the planet. No two are exactly the same.

Diversity is what makes our 3rd Dimension (3D) incarnation so interesting. But it is also what makes our 3D life challenging.

We can also consider diversity in terms of vibration, frequency, or energy. We each have a unique vibration (called a “wave signature” in physics). The positive(+) and negative energy polarities(-) of the universe create the diversity of manifest reality.

Because each being is unique, they are drawn to different vibrations in their phenomenal experience. I resonate with the vibrations or energies of some of that diversity. But I do not align with the frequencies of other parts of that diversity.

I don’t have to like those energies that do not align with my personality (uniqueness). In that way, I am increasing the separation, diversity, and wonder of the universe. And my next incarnation could be a quite different vibrational experience from this one.

This is true for everyone and everything. We each move toward vibrations that we feel resonate with our present incarnation. In this 3D world of separation, when we connect vibrationally with another we are moving toward oneness and overcoming separation, at least to a degree. That moves us toward greater happiness and awakening.

[2] The Oneness of Everything

Through spirituality, we know that we have a personality (or an ego-self), but we are also more than our personality.

My deeper, true-self is the consciousness (or pure awareness) that is beyond my personality, my thoughts, my emotions, my body, and my ego identity. My consciousness is an individualized aspect of Source/God/All-That-Is/The Unified Field/Brahman. I am Source, experiencing its diversity. And so is every other being and entity in the universe.

At the level of Unity Consciousness, we are connected to the pure, singular beingness that we all share. We are everything in the universe. We are the energy of love that enlivens the universe.

From that state of consciousness, I love all of life because I know it is all God/Source, and it is all an aspect of me. When I truly love myself, I also truly love my universe.

[3] Conditional Love (Diversity)

My ego sense of separation enables me to have that special experience of “falling in love” with another. If I did not feel that I was separate from someone else, I could not fall in love with someone else. That is also true for feelings of gratitude, service, cooperation, co-creation, connection, and appreciation. They all require a sense of separation between me and another.

And that is also true for disliking, distrusting, and fearing another person, place, or thing. My life and karma (this incarnation) create emotional and judgmental relationships between me and others. It draws me to some energies and repels others.

Thus, to create diversity, I am supposed to like (or prefer) some things and dislike other things.

As mentioned above, when I am drawn to something, I am trying to overcome the separation of 3D reality. But I am still fully embedded in separation. I am experiencing conditional love. It is love based on 3D conditions, requirements, and judgments.

Conditional love gives us a glimpse of the energy of love that forms the universe. But at the same time, it increases the sense that I am separate because my identity and self-worth are dependent on how others respond to (or judge) me.

[4] Unconditional Love (Oneness)

Unconditional love is the energy that underlies all manifest reality (also known as phenomenal reality and relative reality). It seems to be what quantum physics calls the Unified Field (or Higgs Field).

It is beyond our thoughts and is the energetic source of our thoughts. It is beyond all objects and is the energetic source of all objects. It is the felt energy of oneness.

The energy of that universal love is unconditional. Everything in manifest reality comes from that universal energy. It does not matter whether we (as our ego-self) judge a thing or event as good/right or bad/evil/wrong, its source will always be the unconditional love energy of the universe.

We seek love because it is the energy of oneness, which is the opposite of separation. (Many teachers say separation is the source of all suffering.) Initially, we seek conditional love from another person (a parent, teacher, or partner, for example). The feeling of conditional love is the feeling that we have overcome separation and connected with another being.

But as we grow spiritually, we move from conditional love for another to unconditional love for everything. We still have our 3D personality if likes and dislikes. But we are spiritually closer to the “Source” of all reality and can hold that underlying energy/truth, as well.

For more on our vibrational universe, see:

[5] Spiritual Awakening

We came into this 3rd Dimension to experience separation. That is what an Earth incarnation is all about. It is seeing, experiencing, and falling in love with the incredible diversity that our planet offers.

It is said that no other dimension offers the degree of separation and the experience of diversity. In that sense, the 3rd Dimension is the ultimate creation of Source/God/The Absolute.

Spiritual awakening is remembering, or otherwise coming to know, that we are more than our thoughts, emotions, body, and ego. We are an aspect of All-That-Is, and so is everything else.

So, in the midst of our experience of 3D diversity, we are also seeking to return to oneness. In fact, after experiencing deep separation, our return to oneness (our spiritual awakening) becomes even more intense and wonderful.

Some even say that our purpose in life is to have the greatest possible diversity of experiences possible — because it is all God/Source. But no matter what how much of that diversity we consider good or bad, we should move toward the most positive and loving energies available to us at each moment.

— [5.1] An Expanding Universe

Our universe (our reality) is infinite. To be infinite means there are no boundaries. So, the universe is always, in its entirety, expanding into infinity.

Our human perceptions can interpret that in 2 ways:

1. Increasing separation and diversity. — That is the perception of an unawakened person. Our ego only sees a world of separation — a world of different vibrations (or wave signatures). And our ego-self resists the expansion and is frightened by it.
2. Increasing consciousness and happiness. — That is the perception of an awakened or awakening person. This is hard to see from the limited perspective of our ego-self because it requires transcending the rational ego mind and thoughts.

Because we are inseparable from the universe/reality, we are also always expanding. We really have no choice but to expand our psyche. In doing so, we come to remember our deeper, true self.

That is spiritual awakening for both ourselves and our planet.

There are an infinite number of paths to awakening to choose from. In our present incarnation, we are guided by our likes and dislikes, and by what comes easily (synchronicities) versus what is difficult. That is how our karma works — how the universe guides us to awakening back to oneness.

The more we awaken, the less karma and the more free will we have to choose our path to oneness — fast or slow, straight or crooked, having a teacher or no teacher.

— [5.2] A New Earth

A New Earth, a new reality, and a new life for all will be an increasing reality as we awaken more to our true, universal self and to the energy of unconditional love.

That New Earth will be a reality in which each being is following their soul’s desire. They will flow effortlessly to vibrations they resonate with and away from those they do not resonate with. This is the path of experiencing the diversity of creation.

We already do this. We just do not do it with conscious awareness and intention. That is what spiritual awakening will bring.

Each being will know the oneness of diversity, and of their true self. And they will know the importance of diversity and difference. Because diversity and difference are how God/Source experiences its creativity and infinity.

With that awareness, the New Earth will be one in which people respect every path. Because each path, with both its positive and negative consequences, is a unique vibration of the universe.

Despite what I, as a unique individual vibration, feel is right and wrong, the universe is always a perfect reflection of God/Source at this moment in time. It cannot be anything other than that.

[6] The Relative Ego & the Absolute Soul

“There is no Right or Wrong, but Right is Right, and Wrong is Wrong.”

— Korean Zen Master Soen Sa Nim

The hardest part of New Age spirituality is holding an awareness of the diversity of everything and the oneness of everything at the same time.

There is truth in both the relative and the absolute. Our soul-self is the absolute. Our soul is infinite. It has always existed and always will exist. From its perspective, there is no right or wrong, no good or bad.

But we also live in the relative world as our ego-self. Our ego only knows itself as a separate being. It only knows a world where everything is judged positive or negative, good or bad, better or worse, right or wrong, and liked or disliked.

Our soul-self came into this existence specifically to experience that. And it is impossible for the ego-mind to understand oneness.

For our consciousness to know both separation and oneness requires a state of being beyond the ego-self. We call that “Unity Consciousness”.

Likes and dislikes do not go away in Unity Consciousness. But we hold them alongside the larger perspective of love. Without that love, separation by itself is “suffering”. That is the common message of Seth, Bashar, Abraham, Eckhart Tolle, and many others.

For more on our ego, see:

— [6.1] Spiritual Activism as our Dharma

Our soul does not know morality. In a state of oneness, everything has equal value. There is no good or bad, or right or wrong.

Our ego-self judges good/bad and right/wrong based on its 3D world experience. But our ego-self cannot change us or our world. It can only experience our world.

Only our soul-self can create genuine change. And our soul-self tries to deliver what it thinks our ego-self wants.

The problem is that our ego-self is extremely complicated. We have many egos constantly changing and struggling for dominance (see the 5-types of egos article, above). Thus, we end up with our current complex world of contradictions.

We (our ego-self) must learn to use our discernment of what is best for ourselves and our world to navigate the relative, while still honoring the absolute. This is what Buddha tried to teach through the Eight-fold Path — how to be focused in bringing about a better world.

This means that we should “fight” (or support) what we think is right, just, and moral. But, we should also honor the right of others to hold different opinions and beliefs. We can do everything in our power to convince them to change their beliefs (short of torturing them), but they still have the free will to not change.

This is what spiritual activism is — fighting for what is right while knowing there is no right or wrong in the eyes of Source/God.

In the relative world, we have our dharma (life purpose) to live. That may mean going to war against your own family. This is what Arjuna’s dharma was in the Bhagavad Gita. Krishna’s lesson was that he must fulfill his dharma/purpose by fighting for what he (his ego) believes is moral and just.

Krishna’s true teaching in the Bhagavad Gita is that we can only avoid karmic suffering by fulfilling our dharma while also being grounded in a higher state of consciousness. In that state, we are not attached to any outcome, and we hold unconditional love for friends and enemies alike.

We cannot force the state of Unity Consciousness. It will come to us when we are ready. For Arjuna, it came when he had an existential crisis, questioning his dharma (his purpose in life). For others, it might come after many lifetimes (incarnations) of meditation and spiritual study. And still others might be born that way. That is all part of the diversity of life.

[6.2] Spiritual Bypassing or Both/And

I love the two quotes in the title (by Lincoln Gergar) and subtitle (by Soen Sa Nim). They help me better understand those on YouTube and on Facebook who insist that spiritual people should be angry with the world.

Such people rail against those who hold positive outlooks on the world. They accuse them of “spiritual bypassing” (using spirituality to ignore personal and societal shortcomings, including conspiracies). They have accused me of that many times.

They are looking at the world through the eyes of relativity. It is their ego speaking from the diverse experience of positive and negative polarities. And that is perfectly understandable. That is what the ego does.

But that is only half of the story. It is the physical reality half. Being spiritual means trying to understand the other half of the story, which is nonphysical and spirit.

I am one of those who emphasizes the perfection and oneness of everything. So, I have some resistance toward those who see otherwise. I am looking at the world through the eyes of oneness, of the absolute.

That, too, is only half the story. And if I only present that half, then it can certainly appear to be spiritual bypassing. Usually, the intention is to offer an alternative perspective in discussions that seem overly ego-centered. But I am sure there are some people who only see the oneness, and completely ignore or deny the diversity.

As shown previously, it is difficult to hold both diversity and oneness simultaneously. Most people are one or the other. And diversity has been the more dominant perspective for at least the past 10,000 years or more.

I still vote and donate to support my ego’s likes and against its dislikes. But I see all of us as one, and I respect that we are all doing the best we can at this point in time. I am not enlightened or anything. But I am able to hold more of a “Both/And” perspective on life. That is what it means to not necessarily like everything, but to still love everything.

The two quotes that I based this article on are simple but deep. They helped me to better understand the role of discernment (feelings of what is “right” and “wrong”) while also feeling a sense of universal oneness. I love my soul’s absolute view. And I like the ego’s relative view, as well.

For more on how “we are all doing the best we can”, see:

“I am also free to like or dislike. I am also free to love or hate. The one thing about an ancient existence, if you will forgive the term, is that old hatreds do not last because you learn to have a sense of humor. I used to think that this was highly regrettable, for at one level of reality, there is nothing more comforting than an old hate. It lets you know where you are and where you stand.

But with a sense of humor, hate is all too funny and therefore it loses its power. Love, on the other hand, even with a sense of humor, becomes highly precious and large enough so that it can contain old hates very nicely.

There are old, hated comrades, in your terms, in past lives, whom I love dearly. We share a fine hatred. We loved each other because of that hatred that united us. We were in contact with each other beautifully, and we related. So, examine what you mean by the word ‘hate,’ and see how related to love it can be.”

— Seth, quoted by Jane Roberts in Psychic Politics, chapter 15, Seth: On Love and Hate.

Related

• This article was inspired by the teachings of Lincoln Gergar, Channel for Higher Self (website; Facebook); the quote above was from the Higher Self Inner Circle session on Nov. 29, 2020.
• The Little Soul and the Sun is a story by Neal Donald Walsh that provides a perspective on understanding how “bad” things are always “angels in disguise”. See: The Little Soul and the Sun — YouTube
• A similar message is in this article, reflecting my more recent interests in nonduality:

• See also this channeled message from my Energy Group/Higher Self:

• For more on Spiritual Activism & Social Issue, see this collection of articles:

• Note that the articles in that collection are behind the Medium paywall. For paywall-free access to my articles go to www.AlanLew.com, linked below.

Contact

• I appreciate comments, questions, and typo corrections. - See the About link in my Medium profile for contact information and related articles

My Medium writings are available “paywall free” at www.AlanLew.com:

• follow my Facebook page linked to my Medium writings
• subscribe to My Medium Writings
• become a Medium member to support my writings

Visit and Follow New Earth Consciousness for More Articles like this.

• subscribe to New Earth Consciousness NEWS, the occasional newsletter for NEC
• …and join our New Earth Consciousness Group on Facebook