How to Have Sex

How Writing on Medium Made My Nipples Shiny

I knew I would love writing, but I didn’t know it would have such a fabulous effect on my nipples

My nipples are shiny. When I stepped into the light of the mirror above the bathroom sink, they shone. I’m not getting any younger. I have no secret sauce. And yet, the reflective face of the moon pales in comparison to my bright and shining areolas.

It’s Medium. Medium has made my nipples shiny.

The journey to gleaming glands

I got on Medium over a year ago but didn’t really get into it until September of this year. Early on, I didn’t attempt to become a part of any community. I transferred a bunch of stuff, writings about travel that I loved from another platform and then I got busy and fell off.

In September of this year, I began looking for ways to get more involved. I wrote some introduction stories for a few pubs. In my search, I came across a breast-positive publication called Breast Stories, edited by Amy Sea. She called for women to write a story about their breasts — A Breast Story.

I had never thought about the story of my breasts.

I poo-pooed my breast story potential.

I must not have one. I thought. I’m sure my breast story would be terribly dull.

When I began writing it, I realized I was wrong. I published it and it hit.

There was something liberating about speaking with candor about my breasts. My breast story was ooey and gooey and dunked in meaning. I became enamored. I wrote more.

Right now

I have a writing portfolio filled with articles that feature boobs. There are stories about bras, imperfection, shame, guilt, laughter, pleasure, and praise. I look upon my breasts as something to look upon for the first time.

I wonder what my breasts are thinking a few times a day. I am thoughtful about the attention and acceptance they never asked for, but that I am happily giving them now.

I am asking questions about my breasts’ health. I am whimsical about their voice, and what they would say if they could. Then, I say it here on Medium.

I’ve written so candidly about my mistreatment of my breasts and my shame for both their quirkiness and for simply having them that I am doing new and interesting things, like smearing on ever-loving fingerfuls from a particularly lonely bottle of anti-aging cream before bed.

Whether it’s the kind thoughts, the cream, or the delicacy with which I hold them now, I can only thank Medium (and Breast Stories) for my ensmoothening and radiant titties.

Thank you, Medium. From all of us: me, my supple left breast, and Ol’ Righty.

Yet

Alongside hoping my ta-tas will be guiding Santa’s sleigh this year, I am full of hope for the future of my breasts. I have plans. I see them in my planning. I hope to see them happier every year.

I also see that shiny nipples are just the beginning. What wonders await, Medium? What do you have up your sleeve?

I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

Please feel free to check out my profile: Brett Jenae Tomlin.

If you love, love, love my writing and want to shout out, “You get it, anxious girl!” You can contribute to my cookbook collection here.