Summary

A parent reflects on the lessons learned from motivating their children to exercise by requiring them to walk 15,000 steps a day to earn screen time, emphasizing the importance of self-improvement, understanding consequences, and developing emotional stamina.

Abstract

The author shares insights gained from a self-improvement program they implemented for their children during the pandemic. By enforcing a rule that requires the kids to walk 15,000 steps before accessing screen time, the parents have observed significant personal growth in their children. The program has taught the kids about the nature of consequences, the value of making choices, and the development of a strong sense of self. The children have learned to manage their time and have discovered the benefits of unscheduled time for personal exploration and skill-building. The parents have also learned the importance of not overscheduling their children's lives, allowing them the freedom to learn and make choices independently. The initiative has fostered emotional stamina and physical sustainability in the children, who have continued to meet their step goals despite occasional resistance or difficult circumstances.

Opinions

The author believes that children benefit from understanding the consequences of their choices without the burden of shame.
They value the opportunity for children to explore and develop a sense of self through unscheduled time.
The author suggests that structured activities, while valuable, should not overshadow the importance of personal exploration and skill-building.
They emphasize the importance of teaching children about time management and the natural rhythms of their own productivity.
The author is concerned about the potential for children to become too reliant on structured activities and the need for balance.
They appreciate the role of video games as a motivator for children to engage in physical activity.
The author acknowledges the anxiety of parenting and the need to find a balance between pushing children and giving them space to grow.
They recognize the resilience and emotional stamina their children have developed through the consistent exercise routine.
The author is proud of their children's ability to push through challenges and maintain their commitment to the exercise program.

Self-Improvement

How We Motivate Our Kids To Exercise — Part 2

My kids still walk 15,000 steps a day and we’ve learned, and relearned, so much along the way.

No more bullshit. That’s what I said while I watched my kids watch whatever the hell it is they were watching.

That’s we, earlier this year, after the pandemic began, I wrote about a fitness program I created for my kids.

My wife and I were concerned our little ones would sit home all summer and become a couple of chip-eating, Netflixian couch bums. So we instituted a rule that they had to walk 15,000 steps before they received any screen time.

As it turns out, we are learning a great deal.

One such lesson is that my 10-year-old son and 7-year old daughter understand the nature of consequences outside the realm of shame that may often come with making mistakes.

And that is the beauty of video games. The mundanity of offline life is a great motivator.

For instance, one day, my daughter had 7500 steps in the early afternoon. She opted to read a book over completing her regiment.

After dinner, she asked for a break because it was late and she was tired and just wanted to relax and watch television.

When I asked her what did you do today, we were able to work through the choices she made and how that tied into what she was confronting. She wasn’t happy, but I did not give in. She did it.

If anything, she understands a little bit better how what she chooses to do is the difference between watching a 20-minute show or laying eyes on a 90-minute movie when she needed it. I did point out this was not a punishment, but an exercise in how to make choices, understand what needs to be done for life to work when important matters are at stake.

My wife and I also now see the importance of not overscheduling as we did before COVID-19. With gobs of time and nowhere to go, our kids had an opportunity to learn about themselves and develop a self-knowing sense of confidence that comes by having the freedom to do it. Sense of self is difficult to build when, before the pandemic, they spent most afternoons attending basketball practices, guitar lessons, Hebrew school, or girl scouts.

There is nothing wrong with these programs. They offer the opportunity to learn vital life lessons. The point is youth need time to explore on their own, and often alone, how to build skills in ways that work for them. It’s also a heck of a lot less stressful on everyone, including the parents.

There was a week when my son tried time blocking. He woke up at 7, ate breakfast, and was out the door at 7:30. He returned after 9.

. . . understand the nature of consequences outside the realm of shame that may often come with making mistakes.

During any other summer, he would still wake up at 7 a.m. and eat breakfast. However, he would be on a camp bus by 8 for a day of structured activities until 4.

My point is he had time to explore time efficiencies, and through that, explore his sense of self. He discovered time blocking failed to work for him, not while walking in 93-degree heat while your shorts chafe.

My wife and I knew time blocking was not necessary anyhow. They wound up with so many more steps beyond the 15,000 just by the natural course of the day.

My daughter often found herself amazed that she finished her day with 15,000 to 18,000(we reduced her count to 10,000). Besides the intentional walks, she walked to fetch a glass of water, grab the mail, or visit an outhouse (we do not have an outhouse), she got the steps.

Even more impressive, one day my son finished his step requirement by 3 p.m. That said, he ended the day with 25,000 steps thanks to a little league baseball game and lots of fielding. Yes, his team lost, but sometimes even losing has its privileges.

The game gave me a brief bout of anxiety. My children are smart little whippersnappers. I often worry that he will stop pushing and ask about all the formality when he knows he will reach it during the natural course of the day. And that is the beauty of video games. The mundanity of offline life is a great motivator.

The program also helped them develop emotional stamina. Convention says it takes persistence and coping skills to push through to reach any goal. But we have been at this for five months. Although some days they hate it, they still do it, and that, in my estimation, is awesome.

And therein lies another lesson — how to build physical and mental sustainability. Kids find daily grinds hard. Sure, they have had days off for one reason or another whether it be travel, thunderstorms, or me in need of a break as an exercise officer. In the end, they get the steps.

From my perspective, some days, I just can’t let the anxiety of my children “turning out” get to me. I cannot bring myself to be that guy who pushes and pushes and pushes. I do believe in what we are doing. However, sometimes even he can take a walk.

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