How To Navigate Big Changes More Easily and Peacefully

Even when it feels like you’re not getting anywhere

“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.” — James Baldwin

Hello, beloved Pub Family, and other “Mediumites” who stop by! How are you today? What’s new in your world? Do you need some cuddles and TLC from us? Do you have something to celebrate?

Please share in the comments so we can commiserate or cheer with you!

If you’re familiar with my weekly pub “newsletterish”, you’ll know I always open with a little story of some sort, something to give you some food for thought and an invitation to write about what comes up for you.

This week, that story is going to be shared in a way that some of you will recognise. My sweet little blue friend, “Witchy”, has a growing following here on Medium but she hasn’t been here much for a while, waiting for me to recover enough from my injury to be able to “come out and play with her” again.

A hearty “thank you” to those of you who have continued to ask about Witchy and to say you’ve been missing her and can’t wait to see her again, and that you’ve been missing these little stories.

And to those of you who are new to Witchy and her (mis)adventures, you can learn more about her on her publication:

Maybe you’ll consider following it, please, if you aren’t already? She’s gonna be posting fun stuff again soon, now that I’m on the mend and can help her with that.

Ready for a little story? Here we go!

If you’d prefer to listen to Witchy’s and my conversation, it’s here:

Last night, there were two little raps on my cottage door, followed by its great creaking as Witchy entered the kitchen. But instead of joyfully twirling her way inside as usual, she wore a rather dejected expression as she closed the door and leaned against it.

“Hi, Witchy! I just made a pot of cinnamon tea. Would you like some?” I was pouring a cup for myself and reached for a second one.

Shrugging, she sighed heavily as she sank into a chair, folded her arms on the table and dropped her forehead onto them. “I guess so. Thank you,” came her muffled reply.

I set our cups on the table and sat kitty-corner from her. “What’s on your mind, Precious?” I laid a hand gently on one of hers.

She lifted her head from her arms and adjusted her hat. “You did not burn down your kitchen.”

Here we go. So often our conversations feel like riddles. It’s always a great opportunity for me to practice patient listening. I mean, a really great opportunity.

“Was there some expectation that I would?”

“No. That’s the point.”

Patience, Liberty. Patience.

“The point of what, Witchy?”

“The point of why I am upset.”

Deep breaths, Liberty. You know how this works.

“Can you please elaborate, honey? I’m missing something.”

“So am I.”

More deep breaths. More patience.

“Okay. Let’s start there. What are you missing?”

“Half of my kitchen.”

“Half of your kitchen? Oh, my! Witchy, what happened?”

“Well, maybe not quite half. But … well … oh, I will never get it!”

“Get what? Witchy, what’s wrong?”

“I miss my home! I miss the Magical Blue Tree Forest! I miss knowing how to live where I am! I miss being a powerful witch and casting big spells and doing big things! That stupid ‘secret trauma’ that forced me to become vegan has ruined my life! With no more eye of newt or bat wings or other animals in my spells, all I can do now is blow up everything! I do not like using an oven! I miss throwing herbs and roots and salamanders and bats into my cauldron and poof! A beautiful meal would appear! Now I cannot even cook a simple meal on the stove without exploding the woods and having the Fire Department show up!”

Dropping her head back onto her arms, she broke down into sobs.

“Aw, Witchy, I understand. It’s hard when something happens that’s out of your control and it turns your whole world upside down. I’ve been through that, too. Lots of times. Well, like with this leg injury. I thought I’d be fine in a few months and back to life as usual. It’s more than a year later and I’ve still got a long way to go.”

Witchy looked at me and wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her dress. “Yes. That is true. I have seen how hard it has been for you.”

“That’s right, Witchy. And you’ve also seen me making progress. You’re making progress, too. And while you’re getting from where you were to where you’re going, it’s okay to be frustrated. It’s okay to feel sad and wish you could have your old life back. It’s okay to be afraid and not know what’s ahead or how you’ll get there. Change is scary, Precious.”

“It is also painful!”

“Well, not really. All by itself, change isn’t painful. But resisting it sure is.”

“Or when I burn myself trying to cook something because I am not able to cast a spell in my cauldron. That is also painful.”

“Well, yes, there is that, too. But you’re doing better than you were. You haven’t had to call the Fire Department in … how long now? Well, I mean, not until today?”

“It was 11 days, 3 hours and 27 minutes.”

“That’s specific!”

“Yes. Apparently, they are keeping track. They said this was my record so far.”

“Well, okay. See? You’re improving. Remember those early days? Sometimes they were there twice a day! The thing about navigating big changes is to look at each little step that’s right in front of you and just take them one at a time. Try not to think about the whole big picture because you can’t see that far ahead. And pat yourself on the back for all the little steps you’ve taken so far.”

“Pat myself on the back? Why would I do that? I am not even sure I can reach.”

“It’s a figure of speech, Witchy. It just means to acknowledge how far you’ve come.”

With an exasperated sigh, she shook her head and rolled her eyes. “English is so dumb.”

“You might not notice the changes because you’re inside the box.”

“I’m in a box? There is no box. What box?”

“I mean, you’re living in the situation but I’m on the outside. I can see your situation from a distance. You’re a lot further ahead than you think you are. You’re doing great, Witchy. Just allow yourself to feel your sadness and frustration. They’re a normal part of adjusting to a new situation. You’ll make mistakes along the way but that’s part of life anyway. Do your best to say goodbye to the past and keep bringing your thoughts back to the present. Focus on what you can do right now. On what’s working, and the progress you’ve made. I promise, it’ll lift your spirits and renew your faith in yourself. You can do this, Witchy. You are doing it, and you’ll keep getting better every day.”

“Just like you are, Liberty?”

“Yes, Precious. Just like I am.”

And with that, she leapt out of her chair, nearly knocking over her tea as she threw her arms around me and hugged me where I sat.

I’m glad all is right in her world again. Well, apart from one half of her kitchen.

The Invitation: As usual with HHH, I would love to see your submissions on whatever you feel inspired to write as a result of reading/listening to this little story. There are so many places you could go with this! Allow your thoughts to roam. Was there something in particular that touched you deeply? Something that “got you in the feels”? Or that made you laugh? Whatever your heart tells you to write because of this story, that’ll be the one to submit.

Witchy and I can’t wait to see what you do!

Witchy’s January Contest Results

Here are the results of last month’s contest — and it includes a recorded conversation between Witchy and me, if you wanna give it a listen:

Our Latest Submissions:

As always, we received a beautiful collection of inspiring stories from our brilliant writers. Gosh, I am so blessed to have such gifted writers in our Pub Family!

Thank you so, so much to those of you who contributed your hearts and souls to HHH over the past week, and to everyone who supported your work by engaging and showing appreciation for your efforts.

Take a look at this list of excellent reads!

Christina highlights an important issue that is destroying many lives. It certainly made a mess of mine for decades. A tough lesson to learn but it’s essential if we’re going to be happy and well!

Cristina Cattai tells us about her journey with learning to let go, and offers a powerful tool that can help others with theirs:

Ahilya B shares a painful but essential experience on this roller coaster journey we call “being a writer” — and I’m sure all of us can relate to it in some way:

Christina shares a jaw-dropping story of resilience and determination in the face of numerous overwhelming challenges:

Grace Delphia shows us her vulnerability as a therapist who is dealing with her own mental health challenges. As a healer myself, I’ve experienced first-hand that people don’t often think of their medical professionals and others in the healing industry as having problems. We’re supposed to be fine, balanced, have great relationships etc. at all times. Check out Grace’s experience and how she handles it:

Darlene López responds to the “inner voice” invitation with a powerful story that included high stakes:

Charisse Tyson tells us a powerful and life-changing story of letting go …

Ahilya B offers some food for thought that goes against the grain but makes a whole lot of sense! (And I’m all for going against the grain!)

Nina Sklansky relates a powerful story of “letting go” that was truly life-changing:

Daniel Ng has a two-in-one story about some powerful “inner voice” moments, both of which dramatically changed the course of his life:

HAPPINESS + WEALTH ⭐ offers a beautiful look at the power of gratitude where you might not expect it:

In this short piece, Sahil Patel offers insights into how important it is to choose hope when times are rough:

Lisa Precious / Smiley Blue tells a shocking story of bullying and makes us think about what’s at the root of that cycle:

Daniel Ng relates a short, sweet tale of playfulness, inspiration, and friendship that’s sure to warm your heart!

Vera-Marie Landi is a real trooper when it comes to this particularly nasty kind of pain!! I’ve experienced it, too, and it’s no joke!

And there was one final entry to Witchy’s contest:

Sam Letterwood did a brilliant job of taking us back in time to England, 1770, and a supposed rumour that Parliament would ban lipstick as “witchcraft”!! Check it out:

Tagging our beloved Pub Family so you can support one another and continue to offer encouragement to your fellow HHH and Medium communities.

I am so grateful to have all of you in our Pub Family. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!

With love Liberty 💜 (and Witchy, too!) 💙

Kris Bedenian Rodney Brazier Patti Murray Voncannon Carrie Kolar Croix Sather Deb Fiore Dina Alexander DL Nemeril Donnette Anglin Loren Lieberthal Jimmy Misner Jr. Judy Millar Julie Gaeta Pene Hodge Karen Schwartz James Knight Dr. Preeti Singh Radhika Iyer Sam Branstner Umme Salma Tamil T Mann Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles Lion~ Wendy S. Bradfield Yana Bostongirl Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox Suma Narayan Penny Walsh Shameem Anwar Irene Fassler Sandy Peckinpah Trista Signe Ainsworth Slow train Ashley Nicole B.R. Shenoy Carolyn Hastings Christina Christine Vann, MSc. Ellie Jacobson Isabel Young Kaz Rochford Nia Simone McLeod Nicole Hilbig Patricia Wright Pam Winter Jodian Marie Thomas, MS, Bsc, Asc L Burton Danielle Hestand Sahil Patel Malky McEwan Barbara Cook Tyra Jaide Eko BP Drashti Shroff Evergreen Eden Bernie Pullen Rhea Anglesey CARMEN F MICSA Robin Oakman Mary Vraa Libby Shively McAvoy Kristina God Niall Leah Debbra Lupien, Voice of the Akashic Records Toya Qualls-Barnette Vashni Stories Dawn :) Divya Goswami BichoDoMato Evon Carole Olsen Sharon Sayler, Author Jennifer Dunne Kylie van Gelder Neha Sonney, Author Christina Sponias Ian Hanson JF Danskin Patrick OConnell Mary V Elvie Lins❤️ Carmellita Gauri Sirur Kristie Leong M.D. IJaveria Ansari Asim Nori Dipo Adebayo Andreia Damian Jenine Bsharah Baines Jodi Marie Mahein Kazi Mario López-Goicoechea Raine Lore Vishal Mehta Aarti Tailor A Rustic Mind (Manali Desai) Mona S Gable Anne Emerick Andra Forbes Anaya Nosso Kasturi Patra Mary B Mel Janecka Rebecca Romanelli Life not abrupt (L.n.a.) Rebecka Rose Hollie Petit, Ph.D. Michael Mallen Gauri Sirur Raine Lore Penny Walsh CARMEN F MICSA, MA in English, podcaster Mary V Marilyn Flower Srini James Beaufait Joe Merkle Rupa Mahanti Binky Ink Writing Trisha Faye John Antony Mario López-Goicoechea Sherry Atkinson Seda Anbarcı Ella de Jong Katherine Myrestad HAPPINESS + WEALTH ⭐ Nathan Chen Zeenat Merchant Syal, M.A, M.Sc Ben Ulansey Brandon Kam Victoria Kjos J Oliver Dempsey Binky Ink Writing Karen Schwartz AJ Carrie Kolar TzeLin Sam Sally Prag Jenine “Jeni” Baines Vera-Marie Landi Alan (AJ) Autistic Widower Rebecca A Emrich Grace Delphia Simply Sophia Sheri Jacobs Ella de Jong Tamara Embrey Trisha Faye Carolina Smith Janet Meisel Elena dL Daniel Ng JonesPJ Nathan Chen Amir Bibi Rick Allen Helen Gilmore Marcus aka Gregory Maidman OCTAVIA EVER AFTER Qaiser Khan Benighted Sharon Johnson Julie KingGood Nina Sklansky Debbie Soderberg Kirchner Jolka Maria Rattray Shereen Bingham Kyle Wells Cristina Cattai Charisse Tyson Sam Letterwood Sara Fellers Mehak Adlakha Lisa Precious / Smiley Blue Kumar Devesh Chantal Christie Weiss Hisho Sam David Parker🌸 Robyne Sautner Mike Sansone Darlene López Kimberley Abraham Tamara Low Lynn L. Alexander Ahilya B Michelle Lovett, LCSW, E-RYT Mark Tulin Robin Klammer Suzie Alexander