Learn Better Patience With Gratitude
How to deal with aging and thinning patience
Everything ages I guess… even my patience. Do you find your patience wearing thin these days? Maybe try a little gratitude!
As I get older and my parents gets older, my patience gets thinner. I can’t pinpoint when this transition occurred but it seems to me that my parents and I have almost switched roles. And this transition has me feeling less and less patient.
My mom used to be the go-getter, queen of the castle, smooth-talker, fast walker. She seemed to know everything. She made the best ham-egg-cheese-muffin sandwiches for breakfast, packed everyone’s lunches with their favorite snacks, and cooked hearty dinners every day, all while working full-time.
Every summer, she’d plan the most awesome vacations. I just packed my bags and went along for the ride. Somehow transportation to the airport, flights, hotel rooms, and meals were all set. Activities happened every day without question. They were fun, fulfilling, family-oriented, challenging, and memorable. And I never carried even a dollar with me.
We spent days hiking, at the beach, at the lake, enjoying water balloon fights and nights by the campfire, at the arcade, putting on family talent shows. Everything was so simple, seamless, and carefree.
Then a change occurred.
I can’t figure out when, why, or how this change happened, but as suddenly as a flash flood, I switched places with my mom. Only we didn’t just switch, she also aged and my patience thinned.
The Struggle
I didn’t prepare for my mom aging or even my own aging. Suddenly I’m a decade older, maybe more. My mom’s hearing is a bit questionable, she repeats herself sometimes, she asks me the same question over and over, and she processes things more slowly than before. She pauses to try to remember her words, walks a bit slower, and has pain that she never had in her earlier years.
Now I’m the one who has to plan things. I’m the one who books our trips. I’m the one who has to decide what to do, where to go, what to eat. I’m the one worrying about all the details, making sure the family is fed, and finding fun experiences. I do all this while wondering if her zoning out or memory loss is the start of something serious and concerning.
Gratitude
By no means do I wish to sound ungrateful. I am very grateful for my mom, and my dad too. Their love for me has never wavered. They support me in so many ways. They are kind and forgiving. I am grateful for them and they know I love them.
When my impatience rears its ugly head, I try to take a second to remember this gratitude. But it’s difficult as I believe my patience has also aged. I get frustrated repeatedly answering the same question in a higher and higher volume each time. I get annoyed when my parents don’t follow instructions or when they tell the same stories over and over.
Nonetheless, I’m grateful. As my impatience wears me down, my gratitude lifts me up.
With Time and Patience
I hope that with time and learning to better expand my patience, I will grow to be more understanding of my parents’ aging as well as my own. I want to be a great caregiver to my parents just as they have been great caregivers to me. With a lot of reflection, talking to friends in similar situations, maybe some therapy, I hope to develop more patience to deal with my parents’ aging while engaging in self-care and being mindful of my own mental health.
Wishing you many beautiful memories with your loved ones. Enjoy every moment because you have no idea when things might switch up.
A few related stories…
Any story by Jolka is wonderful and inspirational, but I think this one is the most relatable to my story…
