How to Achieve Your Goals in the Midst of a Hectic Life
Your time and your mind are the only things that are free in this world.
We fight for crumbs of time every day. We prioritise, set some aside to do a lot of things we must, a few we want, and sometimes, we don’t know where the time went because we have nothing to show for it.
Generally speaking, no one ever complains about having too much time on their hands.
But, we all get the same 24 hours in a day.
Some people are extremely efficient and successful with that time. Some people seem to stumble over it and never quite catch up with their backlog of obligations. Some people are well organised, some people are scatty, and both types can be successful or dreadfully unhappy with their situation.
So how do we come to realise our life’s goals when we constantly struggle for time? What are the secrets? The tricks aren’t magical, because magic doesn’t exist.
But I can tell you that every single person on earth is born with the potential to acquire everything they want. More importantly, I can tell you that everyone, including you, deserves it.
The Successful Know What They Want
“The first secret of getting what you want is knowing what you want. “— Arthur D. Hlavaty
Both my husband and I lead extremely busy lives. Pre-pandemic, before I quit my job, we worked the same hours. I was working a government job and he was in a software development role. His income was triple mine despite us both working so hard. He was doing what he wanted, and I was just going with the flow. He was loving it, and so was I — only I had a tonne of unwanted stress I couldn’t shake. I loved my job, but it wasn’t my dream — because I didn’t have one.
I worked to live. I thought that in order to be happy, I had to make sure I could do everything I wanted outside of my job. I fought a pointless battle of keeping my personal and working life separate without realising that they inevitably overlap. Happiness comes from a life enjoyed in all aspects. When one area of your life sucks, it has a knock-on effect on the rest of it.
My husband knew what he wanted when I met him and he has been working towards that since. The trick? He loves it all. Yes, his hours are extremely long, but he wants to do them. He loves his work because it falls in line with his goal to leave a legacy. The best bit? He is rarely stressed. He will say he is never stressed, but I know you won’t believe it.
Doing what you want for a job is not unrealistic. Settling for a false sense of security with a job you hate and filling yourself with all that comes with it is not realistic either.
Find your calling. Usually, what you love is what you find yourself dwelling about how you didn’t do it.
No time, you say? Too many responsibilities that need your income? Too high a risk in case it doesn’t work out?
The Successful Make Time
“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.” — Earl Knightingale
When I had a baby and it was time for me to go to work, I dreaded it. The thought of coming home stressed out and not being able to enjoy my son completely made me feel sick. At the time, I hadn’t figured out what I wanted to do with my career, but I knew I had to be there for my baby. I started journaling and found my calling in writing.
A year later, my baby is a tornado toddler, yet I feel more productive than ever.
He is the best kid to be around, but he has energy. He can run around the park back and forth a million times, drag my pregnant a** up and down the stairs of our house all morning, and still be singing and chatting away while clapping his hands and bopping along to music before his nap. It is exhausting. (But it is fun.)
I jot down notes for articles on my phone while dragging my son to the bathroom to brush his teeth. I read drafts out loud to him while he runs around with his toy cars. I write my bulk of articles when he sleeps. At 5 AM. And yet, I still manage to do everything I need to do. I keep up with my responsibilities at home. I even manage to keep a social life.
I started off writing one article every few months, and not earning a penny — let alone thinking about earning at this point. Now, I write every single day. What’s really cool is that when I wake up at 5 every morning, I wake up excited. Because I want to do this.
Taking time to do something for yourself is addictive. Doing it before anything else when you start your day, and you’ve set yourself up to have an awesome day. It’s empowering to be in control of a slither of your time.
Think you don’t have time? What are you doing in the evenings? What time do you wake up? The successful do what they want and still fulfil all their other duties because they make time. They simply prioritise themselves.
Stop using time as an excuse not to do something and figure out the real reasons stopping you (namely fear) — and tackle them one by one until you have no choice but to take that first step.
The Successful Take Their Dreams Seriously
“Success is the realisation of a worthy ideal. “ — Earl Nightingale.
Have you ever set eyes on something so beautiful and worked your a** off for it? A new phone? A new car? A new job? You see it in your mind, feel it with your fingers, look into all options for acquiring it, and nothing stops you. You know with your heart you will come to get it, and eventually, you do.
There is a saying that although common, only really made sense after reading Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki.
“Think big.”
Robert talks about a deal he at the time was too fearful of taking because the cost was too high. He didn’t take the deal, which today, is worth well over 50 times more.
When something seems too big to achieve, it’s because your thinking is too small. Your mindset is the limiting factor. So you use the smaller, more achievable desires to take up your attention instead.
You’re also afraid of being judged in case you don’t make it.
But here’s another wicked truth: nobody cares. Literally, no one else but you cares about what you do, deep down. You are the only one who can have your best interests at heart.
I didn’t think it was realistic of me to want to earn a 6 figure salary without sacrificing my soul. But there are people who make it to the other side with only a few bruises.
I can deal with a few bruises. Can you?
Successful people have an obsession with their long-term dreams, just like you might for that promotion or watch.
Allow yourself to think big and let your imagination lead the way.
The Successful Treat Their Dreams As Job Contracts
They don’t just hope they make it. They know they will. They feel that success now. The belief they have in themselves comes to fruition simply because when your belief is that strong, there is no way it cannot.
They don’t just feel the desire toward something, they feel the result.
To help you do this, some advise the act of visualisation. Gather images of things you dream and want and stick them on a board somewhere you will look at them every day. Save pictures of your goals as the background of your computer or phone and deliberately focus on them every time you see them, for a few seconds at a time.
I have a fake cheque for £5,000 stuck to the bottom of my computer screen as that’s my monthly income goal.
This stuff works. Athletes visualise themselves winning a race and it is proven that it enhances their performance as well as cultivating a sense of heightened spirits and morale.
Want something so bad you don’t give yourself another option. Think of your goals while you’re cleaning. When you’re cooking. As you lie down in bed before going to sleep. As you enter a meeting. When you get off the phone with a friend. You won’t believe how powerful it is.
“There’s no reason to have a plan B because it distracts from plan A.“ — Will Smith.
Opportunity is the Bearer of Success
“Opportunity is a haughty goddess who wastes no time with those who are unprepared.” — George S. Clason in The Richest Man In Babylon
Everyone who is successful claims they had luck on their side. They were in the right place at the right time, or that client just appeared out of thin air. Even those who inherited success had the luck of a connection.
When we frown at people’s “easy” success, we are in fact depriving ourselves of the same opportunities. We are assuming that we won’t be privy to them. And that attitude is incredibly powerful.
Use that same power by flipping your attitude around and become a little entitled.
My opportunity of a lifetime was the fact my husband can look after us financially while I looked after our son. It was when I took time away from society’s expectations of going back to work that I was able to determine what I really wanted to do and start working towards that.
My best friend and her husband started a booming business in New Zealand which led them down a path of huge success within a couple of years. Competing businesses failed while theirs thrived. Obviously, they worked really hard, but they appreciate that the timing was perfect for them.
There is a reason as to why the term “opportunity” exists within every sales department. Because everything starts off as an opportunity, which everyone, absolutely everyone, can be exposed to when they are open to the idea.
It is difficult to think you can rely on some element of chance for your success. It just doesn't seem realistic.
But once you start believing that things can be put on a platinum platter for you to take, you will be witness to some of the most mind-blowing changes in your life.
Cheesy, flukey, lucky too-good-to-be-true coincidences just happen. Only they aren’t by chance. Opportunities are distributed with reason and intent to those who are willing to receive them.
I don’t know what opportunities will come to me over the course of my writing career. But I can tell you with absolute certainty that they will. They already have. I started off with zero writing experience, zero followers, zero content. Now, I jot down ideas every single day. Those ideas are all opportunities to make a piece go viral.
It is you who needs to open yourself up to opportunity and give a little bit of control up to luck.
You already blamed exterior forces for your circumstances, so why not put faith in them instead?
The Successful Romanticise Life Realistically
Remember that everyone is human. The successful are normal people with normal people problems and normal people scenarios.
When you think about your future dreams, they seem out of this world. You romanticise the idea of getting that job, the perfect spouse, etc. Your expectations are too high but not because you can’t have the best of everything — because you can. But because you forget that the buzz you feel at the beginning of anything exciting wears off. It is up to you to keep that buzz going.
Have you ever worked so hard for something you desperately wanted, only for the enjoyment of it to die down after a short period of time? That’s not anyone’s fault but your own, to put it bluntly. Until you start enjoying everything you have right here, right now, you will never fully expose yourself to the joy of reaching goals — no matter how big.
This quote really put it in perspective for me, as a full-time mother trying to make it out into the big wide world as a successful writer:
“The great thing about having a bunch of kids is that they just remind you that you’re the person who takes them to go poop. That’s who you are!” — Angelina Jolie
You can have the life of your dreams but remember that the life you seek is still full of daily mundane tasks. You have to learn to enjoy those too.
Takeaway
Your time and your mind are the only things that are free in this world.
But you set the value on your time and your mind. You set a value on them the second you complain about your job and do nothing about it. You heighten their value when you begin to claim some time to do something with both for yourself.
Make time, and you’ll ask yourself how you didn’t do it sooner. Think big — you can really do anything you put your mind to.
Believe in yourself like you believe the sky is blue. Sign your dream contract and stop doubting yourself.
Rely on an element of your success to come from lifetime opportunities because they are there when you’re open to receiving.
Lastly, don’t forget that you are human, and if you have kids, you will get poop stuck under your fingernails one day. There’s nothing glamorous about that. You are not above mundane, so cherish that too.
Sylvia Emokpae is passionate about self-love and motherhood. See more work like this.