4 Free Ways to Boost Your Likeliness for Self-Fulfilment
Sometimes, going back to basics is better than the lifehacks.
I don’t know how many articles I have read about these unheard of yet highly effective ways to boost your morale. Morning routines, early morning routines, earlier morning routines. I get up at 5 AM because of what I have read online about its benefits.
Yet, I cannot take for granted the things I do every day that boost my moods, but I don’t see them being talked about as much because they’re “too” obvious. Maybe they’ve been saturated to the point no one will talk about them. Maybe, they’re not interesting enough and don’t intrigue people.
The truth is, though, that the journey to self-growth and happiness isn’t full of lifehacks and tricks.
The tools we are handed at birth are life-changing, yes, but not because of anything we haven’t discovered already. No. The so-called secret keys to happiness aren’t secrets, and they’re not magical. There aren’t pieces of puzzles for us to seek and find in the world.
We have to remember that we were born to enjoy life and be happy. So we are given the resources to be happy from the moment we are born. The very things that we are exposed to every day are supposed to help make us happy because of our view of them. It is our perspective that elevates that high mood. It is our attitude that brings happiness. And then we receive more goodness.
So let’s get to the 4 things I expose myself to every single day to help keep my attitude in the right place, and my perspective on the side of happiness.
Mindful Walking
I have always enjoyed a walk, but not to the level I do today. Walking of course is a form of exercise and I used to simply enjoy going out for one with a friend or alone. It is free, and it doesn’t matter where you walk, there is always something entertaining to see — whether that be in town, in the countryside, or in a small park.
Walking was the only real thing I could do when the first lockdown came into place. I had a one-year-old to entertain all day with no baby classes to take him to or play dates — let alone drag around the shops for a change of “scenery”.
I started walking around our residential area which has a large park to circulate, as well as a small woodland nearby. I used to carry my son before he could walk as it was easier than pushing a stroller in the woods.
The walks I went on started being just 20 minutes long, and over time, increased to 1 to 2 hours. Why? Well, I noticed, first of all, I was losing the baby fat I’d gained from pregnancy but never lost. Secondly, I seemed to be really enjoying myself on those walks and getting excited for them.
Why?
I’d sing to Andriel, he’d mutter or sign words to me, and I found he was learning a hell of a lot from just being outside. He became interested by what he saw outside and he was purely in the moment the entire time — and so was I.
What we were practicing without knowing was mindful walking. It is the skill of being aware of your surroundings, and living in the present moment. It kept me out of my head which was at the time full of worries about the pandemic and our future.
During those walks, I was free. Possibly, my son encouraged that part of me, or possibly, I was teaching him to nurture that — because babies only live in the moment.
The best way to describe how I felt during those walks is by taking a quote from an article in Positive Psychology that goes into more depth on the topic of mindful walking:
“To the mindful, when in a state of appreciation, the experience of early morning sunlight hitting a dirty puddle on a city street is equal to the setting sun in a mountain scene.”
I would notice things around me and point them out to Andriel. The sun rays piercing through the trees were magical. Seeing a dog playing in a small stream made our day. Saying hello to our neighbours as we walked past made me appreciate how well connected our community is.
Today, a year later, we still go on walks as often as possible and we still enjoy them as much as last year. Only, now, my son walks beside me or runs off ahead.
I immerged myself into the world of gratitude for everything in my life during these walks, and these emotions of pure joy were triggered by being in the present moment while walking.
Lastly, many of my self-improvement articles are inspired by an idea or thought that pops into my head during these walks, thus continuing that momentum for my career choice.
“All truly great thoughts are conceived by walking.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
Seeking Out Nature
Whether it’s a day at the beach or a morning walk in the woods or camping in a friend’s backyard, nature is another free, natural type of therapy.
Why do I call it therapy?
Nature appeals to the senses. All of them. And when you notice how things encapture you, you once again take yourself out of your head and bring yourself to the here, and the now.
The smell of tree bark. The texture of sand. The sound of the breeze brushing through the leaves of tall trees. The sight of a colourful butterfly landing on a flower in your backyard. The taste of a fresh berry you pick off a shrub.
We have a very small backyard, but I have put things in place in order to stimulate all the senses. I have bird food out so we can see the birds flying in and out of our garden; wind chimes that sound in the breeze and make calming noises; awesome looking and smelling rose plants that attract bumblebees and butterflies; a small patch of grass that massages the bare feet as you walk on it.
Even on days when we don’t manage to get out and explore different parts of our region, we have a small backyard to enjoy a piece of nature and get those same feelings that are triggered when we are out in it.
An article in springer.com called “Mindfulness and Nature” explains that,
“In addition to helping us feel good and function well, a connection with nature is associated with greater life satisfaction, lower anxiety, improved vitality, meaningfulness, happiness, creativity, pro-social behaviors, and pro-nature behaviors.”
It doesn’t matter where you live. You can find so many patches of nature, even man-made, that can trigger the same feelings. The point is that it is you who deliberately and mindfully connects to it.
Embracing Water
Water, like nature in general, stimulates all the senses too. All the sounds of water are awesome — crashing waves; a storm; a small splash by a fish in a lake; the sound of ducks paddling through a pond.
Actually listening out for those sounds and acknowledging them brings you to the present once again.
The sight of water when you look out the window. The deep blue ocean, a lake, or a small pond. Even the rain is therapeutic when you see the droplets land on your window.
The feeling of hot water hitting you in the shower. The relaxing feeling as you lean back in the bath and let your head get wet.
And the tasteless but very satisfying gulps of fresh cold water you take after exercise.
An article in The Guardian describes how exposing yourself to a scene of water such as the beach or a lake is beneficial in three ways to your mental health and wellbeing.
Firstly, the presence of water reduces the amount of pollution and “cleans” the air, thus improving the environment in which you are in.
Secondly, statistically speaking, you are more likely to be more physically active when you live near water, and we all know the benefits of that on your body and mind.
And thirdly, the most intriguing point of all to me,
“water has a psychologically restorative effect. Spending time in and around aquatic environments has consistently been shown to lead to significantly higher benefits, in inducing positive mood and reducing negative mood and stress, than green space does.”
Check a map of your local area and find the nearest river, pond, lagoon, or beach, and try to visit it at least once a week for an hour to take advantage of all those benefits.
According to Researchgate.net,
“Over 50% of the world’s population lives closer than 3 km to a surface freshwater body, and only 10% of the population lives further than 10 km away.”
If you unfortunately aren’t able to be near a beach or any larger area of water, creating a small water feature in your backyard or being near a city fountain can be beneficial, too.
Music
There is a reason why my 2-year-old asks for music every single day. It makes him feel good. He bops along to the beat of songs. He sways his head to slow-paced songs. If he fancies a bounce, we put on really upbeat songs on. Music not only has helped him to learn how to move differently with all parts of his body, but it has also helped him learn words from their lyrics. Arguably most importantly, he is learning how to have pure fun.
Music has saved me many times in my life. After a tough breakup when I was 19, I ran off to university and danced my way through my first year. It was liberating.
I also met my husband dancing. Because music has a way to set you free. When you let your body sway to the music without thinking about it, you are sexy. You are confident. You are at your best. Devonte was drawn to the energy he felt when I danced. Because I was at my strongest.
It doesn’t matter whether you are musically inclined or not — music has a way to entrance you. The beauty in melody and a good beat have powerful ways of improving your mental and physical health. Scientists have proven that music can better your breath rate, heart rate, and your blood pressure.
Harvard Health publishing said that,
“A 2006 study of 60 adults with chronic pain found that music was able to reduce pain, depression, and disability.”
It doesn’t matter what music you like. Yes, different types of music can trigger different emotions within you — but generally, you listen to music you like. And whether the music itself is sad or angry, or happy and upbeat, if you like it, it is going to make you feel good by connecting you to those emotions.
For example, listening to a sad song after my tough breakup helped me cry it out and accept that there had been a breakup. And then I listened to upbeat, popping music to feel good and in control of myself again.
These days, you don’t need to pay to listen to music. The radio is 24/7. If you have Internet, the options are endless. You can do many things while listening to music at the same time too. You can end the procrastination and bang out all the put off housework with some of your favourite fast-paced music. You can finish that assignment by putting on a short classical playlist on repeat.
You can simply put music on to dance to it — I do this every day with my son.
“Even in the mud and scum of things, something always, always sings.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Takeaway
Don’t look for those secrets because there aren’t any. Life is supposed to be uncomplicated. Some people think that if someone is easily amused, there’s something wrong with them. That’s simply not true. We are supposed to find comfort and pleasure in the most basic things. There is quality everywhere you look, all over the world.
Go for a 20-minute walk every day and notice the small things around you. Help your senses be stimulated by what surrounds you. Then witness how your body feels lighter and gains a spring to its step.
Find the nature spots in your area — even in urban places. Trigger those senses once again by exposing them to all the things that nature has to offer.
Acknowledge the power of water on your body and your mind. Let it benefit you in all the ways it can.
Lastly, put some music on now and again and let yourself go. You need to relax. Your body needs to feel less tense. Wile it out with some careless and judge-free movements to your favourite songs.
“Find ecstasy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough.” ― Emily Dickinson
Sylvia Emokpae is passionate about self-love and motherhood. See more work like this.