How I Was Inspired by a Garbage Truck
Dealing with daily annoyances
Our son and I stared out of his bedroom window observing passers-by and philosophised about life. Suddenly, Andriel spotted a garbage truck that had stopped opposite our house around 50ft away. He observed fascinatedly as the workmen got out and proceeded to load up the truck from a nearby block of apartments.
Andriel, 22-months-old, absolutely welcomed this bit of action, and I quite happily obliged by making light conversation about what he was seeing.
Then, a car came by and stopped behind the truck. The driver of the truck slid down the window and stuck his hand out, gesturing for the driver to go around. The driver didn’t move.
This little altercation caught my attention. I wondered whether the driver felt mildly annoyed at the fact he was now stuck behind the garbage truck. I mean, I’ve been there when I’ve been in a rush to go anywhere. Twiddling your thumbs and being stuck on the road is annoying AF.
I became so intrigued by this that I started describing out loud to Andriel what was happening, like a narrator from a nature documentary.
“As you see here, son, this driver is faced with a small dilemma that may well determine how the rest of his or her day goes.”
“His actions and attitude could make or destroy his day.”
“The car has options to avoid catastrophe. The driver should consider reversing out of the road and taking the alternative route around. The parallel street behind can be followed round to the end where it is possible to access the same road the driver is heading towards.”
“The other option is to go around the truck. There is certainly enough room, but if he cannot see that, he should be able to see that the sidewalk is empty of walkers and low enough for the car to get onto it safely.”
“But he has chosen to wait it out. Maybe because he has stuff to do in the car — who knows. But maybe, he is just sat there complaining. And if so, son, that is the easiest, but most self-destructive thing to do.”
Andriel grunted now and again in response to my comments.
I giggled at the ridiculousness of my entertainment. I took a moment to appreciate how easily amused I am. Boredom is not in my vocabulary.
I wanted to give the driver the benefit of the doubt. I thought, maybe he just wanted to answer a call, make a call, or check the notifications on his phone. After all, we are in a time where checking your phone for one or two minutes at a time is sufficient to catch up with the world and get a hit of dopamine.
This bit of unexpected time the driver had can be interpreted as stolen or as gifted.
The workmen got back into the truck and drove away, circa 6 minutes later.
The car screeched forward, almost hitting the truck in front of it as it pulled into a driveway literally just in front of where the truck had originally parked. A man got out, looking like he was fuming, slammed the car door shut, and rushed home, where he again, slammed the front door.
It’s then I sighed. This guy was pissed and it was his own doing.
It’s then I thought that maybe, he wanted to be annoyed.
My husband is practical and thinks logically. His ability to detach his emotions from events that unfold in front of him is incredible. He rarely takes anything personally and makes the best out of every situation.
I might be consumed by an annoying event and let it lead me down a path of “bad luck”, like spilling coffee on the floor or hitting my toe on the corner of the table. I might react badly to having to wait a long time to pay at the supermarket. And if I dare complain to Devonte about it, he won’t entertain it.
His response is usually somewhere along these lines:
“Whatcha gonna do about it?”
My response to that often involves me walking away in a huff because I know that deep down, he’s right, and who likes a smart-ass?
The Pros to Annoyance
Why is it that I repel the problem-solving mind that my husband often tries to instil in me whenever I am annoyed?
Surely nobody wants to feel annoyed in vain.
Devonte is actually right about wanting me to focus on the solutions. But that doesn't mean that being annoyed is wrong.
Psychology today quotes being annoyed to be a “perverse pleasure”. Although annoyance and anger are associated with bad or negative feelings, there are benefits to all of our feelings and absolute reasons for feeling them.
When we react annoyed we are in actual fact defending our principles and values. We are saying that whatever annoyed us is inferior in our moral spectrum.
We are ascertaining power and control by becoming angry at whatever was done to us and telling ourselves:
“They are wrong, and we are right.”
Our reaction restores our own moral righteousness. We are essentially treating ourselves with dignity and respect, which is vital to sustaining our confidence and self-worth.
The man who had 6 minutes taken from him by the garbage truck may have wallowed in his own annoyance because he knew he did not deserve to have this time taken from him. He might have been late to a very important call because of it. His annoyance is a reflection of the importance of his time.
What matters is not only the feeling itself, what we do with it once we have felt it.
Sometimes, you have to get angry to get things done. — Ang Lee
How many times have we gone into action after becoming angry? We feel motivated to better ourselves and improve something. When I get angry, I clean. This helps me gain perspective on things by accepting I cannot control the past, but I can control the future. I have to look at the silver linings — there is a lesson to be learned everywhere you look.
I might as well do something with my annoyance.
Adopting the Right Attitude
After inwardly enjoying being annoyed, there are two options most people face:
- Move on.
- Dwell.
When we get over an unfair event quickly, we are relatively unaffected by it and we are able to carry on with our day. We don’t think about the event again and don’t link back to it later if something else goes wrong.
This is a healthy way to experience annoyance.
But if we choose to complain and dig deeper into our thoughts of annoyance and anger, it is no longer pleasurable. With the small dose of “perverse pleasure”, we get adrenaline. Adrenaline usually prepares us to deal with a threat or danger — something that involves the need for energy. But this sudden pump of energy applied to our everyday lives, where there are usually no real threats or dangers can equal chaos.
It is where we become susceptible to lashing out, spiralling, or snapping at our loved ones, and thus hindering our relationship with ourselves and everybody else involved.
Problem-Solving
The guy who got annoyed about having to wait behind the garbage truck might have got over it quickly and had a perfect day.
Or maybe he crossed the line from annoyance to anger to chaos because instead of problem-solving, he just took the outside circumstance personally without thinking about how to rectify the situation, even if only in his mind.
Unfortunately, this reaction is so common it is accepted everywhere.
Start by not accepting this kind of attitude anymore because it is only hurting you, and start answering the question:
“Whatcha gonna do about it?”
I have to take a step back from my annoyance and remind myself of my biggest goals:
To be ultimately happy.
Once I have complained about the annoyance, either in my head or out loud to a loved one or friend, I need to tell myself, “that is enough”, and move on.
This is the process:
- Acknowledge the problem.
- Ask yourself what you’re going to do about it.
- If nothing, then drop it, since it adds zero value.
- If something, then make sure it’s positive.
The goal is to not feel even a little bit shaken by small things like these. But until then, this is the process I advise to move away from the slippery-slope that anger offers.
Last Words
Feeling annoyed is normal and it reinforces our own beliefs and values. But we don’t have to become consumed by it.
You control your attitude. You choose when you become annoyed, angry, or sad. Choose to turn all your feelings into something positive and focus on what you want out of each day.
Make bad occurrences work for you and become witness to your own self-improvement.
Sylvia Emokpae, thinker and philosopher, is passionate about self-love, motherhood, and pro-race. See more work like this.
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