4 Traits of Happy People

Actively do these, and you’ll see life is better than you think.

I haven’t always been happy. In fact, for a long time, I don’t think I knew for sure what happiness was. I had an idea of the concept of happiness — but I now believe that was wrong.

I depended on people and things to tell me how awesome a person I was. I relied on others telling me I was happy. I gave responsibility to everyone but me about how to feel good. I didn’t know about self-fulfilment.

I hit rock bottom emotionally and I gave myself no other choice but to just live and be happy. I decided I was no longer going to feel negative about anything.

So let's cut to the chase. Here are some ways to tell if you are happy — appreciate them if you are!

You Enjoy the Small Things

I am easily amused.

I have the ability to be serious and professional at work, but I have always chosen to show my playful and cheery side. Some might not have taken me seriously for it, but I say that’s more of a reflection of their own unhappiness.

Some will think me naive for being tremendously happy about the sun shining.

Some will think me a little irrational for being overly enthusiastic and ecstatic with my son when he gets a word right.

Some will think me a little childish for prancing around in our bedroom with my toddler son behaving like absolute lunatics every morning.

Some will call me a devoted mother, but I am just happy for no reason, and I’m actively teaching my son to be happy for no reason too.

I have learned to counter-argue with myself every single time I have a negative thought. It’s important not to deny any negativity, but it is equally important to highlight the positive with as much attention or more. And enjoying the small things means it is so easy to think of something good when a bad thought enters my mind.

You Accept Each Moment

Time is filled with single moments, second by second. Moments are timeless and infinite. It is we who categorise time into chapters, subcategorising time with schedules, days of the week, etc.

It is we who label each moment as good or bad. Good experiences to some are bad to others. Happy people take each moment as a good one, even if on the surface they deem it to be bad because every moment has a lesson — and that’s what happy people live for — to learn and be fulfilled.

Every moment is a lesson regardless of whether it’s good or bad in your eyes.

Time is of the essence, and it is up to you to control it.

I have a set routine for my son, with his meals and sleep. They’re important for him, they set much-needed structure, but it’s also good for me since I can work around it. My writing takes place in short bursts throughout the day as opposed to one long 3 or 4-hour run, so planning is important.

But now and again, I have an unexpected call from a friend during my writing time I can’t ignore, or my son won’t agree with the routine on a particular day. Or I’ll decide to take a break and watch some mindless TV, or tackle a chore I’ve been putting off.

And that’s OK.

Unexpected things happen, that’s life, and rather than feel like we have been robbed off of our time, adapt and enjoy learning the unexpected lesson you were given. Control your reaction to those moments and you’ll be much happier.

You Catch Your Annoyance Before It Gets Worse

Once upon a time, I had a long stream of bad luck from the universe — bad drivers cutting me up on the road, long traffic jams, clumsiness, and arguments that ended in me accusing the world of hating me.

Thankfully, that doesn’t happen anymore.

If something I classify as bad happens in a day, I shrug it off. I don’t think about it for even a millisecond because it doesn’t deserve my attention. I think this change of attitude halted the long stream of bad stuff happening in life.

When you don’t engage with negativity, it seems to leave you alone.

I am now consistently able to stop myself before I overreact or spiral in my head. I have learned to not become emotionally involved with exterior things that I cannot control but could damage my morale. This takes practice all the time for me, however.

I don’t assume the world is out to get me when I have a bad day anymore.

Treat negativity as an addiction you cannot go back to, even once, because it’s a slippery slope from there.

You’re Content With Being Present

My son repeats a beep sound when he hears a car. He spots a plane in the sky and frantically points at it to share the moment with me. He just lives off of his surroundings with pure joy.

When we are children, we are just there. We haven’t learned to daydream much yet. We don’t yet have the cognitive ability to think of other things, but somehow when we do, we seem to unlearn the basic skill we had of being in the present as we grow older — we stop noticing our very surroundings.

It means that as we grow up and our brains develop, we live in our head more and in the room less. While we try to fathom and imagine things, whether they’re good or bad, we are potentially missing out on what’s happening around us. How often do you think that happens?

A hell of a lot. At least for me it used to.

My son is inspired by the world and I want it to inspire everyone. Being in the present does just that. You’ll catch a flock of birds on their journey around the sky, or bump into a loved one on your way to work. You might meet your lover, or make a new professional connection.

Find ways to just live in the present and for once, let the universe talk to you. Imagine it is not all so random and that it is placing opportunities in front of you for you to take.

All of the above are similar and connected if you notice.

To enjoy the small things, you have to live in the moment, and you have to be OK with what you’re given.

I’m sorry I can’t tell you exactly what made me change.

But I can tell you it took hard work and persistence to get here once I decided to change my attitude. I can’t tell you the very moment I just decided to be happy, I can’t tell you what exactly made me flip the switch other than telling myself I had no choice. It didn’t work overnight, trust me, and I’ve had lows since.

This is the longest happy streak I’ve gone through, probably ever, and it’s the first time I feel I am in control of myself. Emotionally, I feel stable and content. I go to sleep in a good mood, and I wake up in a good mood.

My mission is to share my stories just in case you learn something from them. Please let me know if you do.

The key is having more good than bad.

When you tip the scales, you’re on the other side.

You’re the main character to your own story, so be a witness to it and don’t let negativity distract you.

Sylvia Emokpae, thinker and philosopher, is passionate about self-love, motherhood, and pro-race. See more work like this.