How I Keep my Optimism High

Ever get beat down by life’s hurricanes?

Number 1

My optimism comes from what I want out of life, in general.

I can’t answer that for everyone. For me, it’s a house near the country where my family can flourish in mind, body, and spirit and where they don’t have to be concerned with people all around. My family is mine, no one else’s.

But, that’s not all.

Number 2

There’s a lot of research out there that details what life is about. God, for example. There are a lot of Christians who commit suicide, too. For Christians, it is easy to forget who they are and what their purpose here in life is. When I’m down in the pit of emotional agony, I go back to what I know.

• The Bible says, “stir yourselves up by way of remembering”. The Bible does not say God will stir us up. That’s a fallacy. There is a song that sings, “light the fire again, I’m calling out, light the fire again” and I love that song, but it’s not accurate. It’s just a feel-good song.

So, what you think is feel-good is actually not helping you. There are many times that the feel-good sensation is just a sensation from us taking off responsibility.

There are a lot of others when it comes to my Christianity that help me. Another part of what stirs me out of the depths is knowing my job for God is easy. Religion is what weighs people down. Religion says, “ooooh, you missed a day of church.” But, what God says is, “I look at the heart.” My job for God just doing what God tells me to do. The only thing that gets in the way for me personally is fear.

But, I have a fix for fear, too.

Number 3

When fear creeps in, I get ruthless.

I get myself to a place to say, “I am on this earth to just listen to God. If I die doing it, at least I will go to heaven with a clear conscience and not remain on earth a coward. What am I scared of anyways? It’s easy, I do what God says and I reap the rewards or I don’t and I get mad at myself.”

And the amazing poem to the article!!

This is my favorite one. This one is one that I get to be a badass. This will be different for male and female brains. For the male brain, there are times when it’s healthy to strap on armor to ride into war.

I say, “there is nothing on this earth that move me!” Even if someone physically assaults me, my brain will be unaffected and I will give myself grace.

Number 4

Value. I always try to remember my value. My wife does a good job at reminding me, also. No matter the battle against me, no matter how many other Medium writers have much more success than me with their infantile facts and stories, verses my originally-thought up generation building and mountain-crushing life lessons, I will remain here and will continue who I am. Who I am is not someone that scans through NBC storylines to find a story, I am someone who asks myself, “is this story necessary?” and if the answer is yes, then the next question is, “when do I write about it?”

Even if someone cheats on you, stay positive. Sometime down the road their well will dry up and there will people who have helped that would otherwise never be helped. They will write things that ruin our teen girls’ lives and you fix them. There is value in only one of those. They hit 4 and you save 1, the value is on you.

Do know lower your value? If you don’t, then you have a motivator to fight; find your value.

Number 5

Practical issues. There are a lot of times when I’m down because I’m sick. That is normal.

However, clinical depression is also a thing. If you can’t get through a season of depression with the aforementioned, you might have a literal issue, psychologically or neurologically.

Number 6

Patience. Patience promotes independence

I don’t rush into things. I analyze things. I don’t get roped into corners. I don’t give myself too many deadlines. I put my foot in the water to see if today is the day.

As a Christian, I know that what God has planned might be different than what I originally thought. I can’t get mad at God, ha-ha! He’s why I’m here. He’s not mad at me. Just give it time. I’m ready to move, shift, and change as necessary. God says, “close your Medium account”, I respond, “will do.” I hold no directional answer. Jesus said be like a child, malleable. Responsibilities on Him, not me. I’m just a team member.

Conclusion

Every negative thought is something that needs to be squashed. No negative thought holds value. No negative thought needs time or space.

I always pause right after negative thoughts. I say, “Hold up!! Not another thought.” I put the brakes on. I evaluate the reasons why I thought it. Bad day? Are things not going my way? Well, that’s almost every day.

Just because I crashed my car, doesn’t mean getting mad at myself will help the situation. My wife is always impressed by my power to remain calm in really bad situations. I say, “it’s the calm, collected soldier that survives. Controlling nerves and emotions are key. The strong can adapt and do it with ease”. Patience. When I’m walking the floor with my sick child all night, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. My brain is full of war. Everything negative about myself flows in, even thinking “I wish I wasn’t here.” But, I keep it all in my head and when the storm is over, God asks, “is your integrity intact?” Yes; “Did I ever leave you?” No. I’m stronger today and I’m looking forward to tomorrow.

My wife and I will have heart-to-heart conversations, yes. But, there are some people who literally have 100 negative thoughts a day. That’s enough to stress out any spouse. At times, it’s time to become a warrior.

All it takes is one bad video of you, putting all your negative thoughts out there in the open, to go on the news and what will that do, to your kids at school, spouse at work or school, etc.?

I have value! My life is full of unused value to jump into. I can get passed the fear. When I was single I said, “for every year I’m not married my expectations for who she is rise.” Never lower standards. I know my value.

Stay above the water. Go surfing. God wants you to go surfing. The best testimonies God uses are ones above the water. Negative thoughts will try to keep you underwater.

If you have nothing at all that helps you surf, I believe it’s time to talk with a professional.

Thank you for reading! Thank you for your positive comments!!