avatarJ & J (Jessica & Joshua J. Lyon, BSQP, ACNP)

Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of maintaining the significance of one's significant other by not valuing romantic or sexual relationships with others, thereby preserving trust and strengthening the primary bond.

Abstract

The article discusses the principle of keeping one's significant other as the top priority in a relationship. It suggests that avoiding the evaluation of others in a romantic or sexual light is crucial to maintaining this priority. The author points out that the beginning of adultery often stems from breaking this principle, as it signifies a breach of trust and devaluation of the spouse. The author shares personal anecdotes, such as reserving a favorite cologne for home use and dressing up specifically for date nights, to illustrate ways of adding value to the relationship. The article advocates for investing in the relationship through honest communication, problem-solving, and creating a sense of irreplaceable loss should the relationship end. It also touches on the concept of deselecting others by not engaging in behaviors that could suggest availability for a relationship, while clarifying that this does not equate to rudeness.

Opinions

  • The author believes that not assigning relationship or attraction value to others is a key tool in keeping a significant other #1.
  • Adultery is seen as a consequence of failing to maintain the value of one's partner, indicating that trust and relationship value are intertwined.
  • Personal actions, such as using a favorite cologne at home or dressing up for date nights, are presented as ways to invest in and add value to the relationship.
  • The article suggests that being honest and addressing problems at their root is essential for a healthy relationship.
  • It is expressed that not initiating contact with others is a method of deselecting potential alternative relationships, not an act of rudeness.
  • The author values the idea of making the relationship so valuable that its potential loss would be significant, thereby reinforcing its importance.

One Relationship Principle

The art of keeping your significant other #1

Photo by H.F.E & Co Studio on Unsplash

Most people who have been in a relationship have asked themselves the same question.

How can I keep my significant other #1?

As anyone can tell you, there is no magic in doing so. But, there are some tools or weapons to help. One of those is the art of not giving yourself a chance to place a relationship or attraction value on others. Not treating others in a bad way, but lowering others relationship-wise or sexually.

One way adultery begins is when that is broken. When one of the spouses or those in a relationship break the cycle of devaluing others relationship-wise, their heart has already ventured off. Because trust is broken. When trust is broken, there is no more proof of value on their spouse.

Even in my own marriage I do that. I use her favorite cologne of mine (which also happens to be the most expensive one I have) only at home. And if we go on a fancy date night, then we will put more effort into dressing up than we do for work, meetings, or out with friends. When it’s regular date or time at home, we invest everything into it.

We add so much value to our life that to give it up would be a massive loss and a waste. We put our heart into our conversations. We continue to bond closer. We are honest with each other. We get to the bare root of any problem, so we can access what needs fixed or worked on.

Putting value on being with the other is putting value in your relationship. So, the opposite is true, by doing things that will deselect others for relationship with us. We will not be rude to someone, but not saying “hi” to someone is not being rude. When someone’s motives are not seen, there is no expectation.

Thank you for reading! Thank you for positive comments!!

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Love
Marriage
Dating
Women
Dating Advice
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