SELF-IMPROVEMENT
How Can You Remain Connected to Yourself Whilst Being Connected to Others?
Day 45, 50 questions for deep self-reflection
Trigger Warning: Psychological exploration and personal growth — everything here is a reflection of self only. If you are triggered, please stop reading immediately. Always put your own mental health first!
Does connection with others cause you to disconnect from yourself? It’s an interesting question and my exploration of this below definitely went in a few directions. What if the stability of our connection to self in the influence of others is simply a sign of the true depth of our self-connection? Because isn’t everything a reflection and a chance to grow?
This is day 45 of the 50 Questions for Deep Self-Reflection challenge from Know Thyself Heal Thyself created by Diana C.
DAY FORTY-Five: How can you remain connected to yourself whilst being connected to others?
Well, just go ahead and call me out then!
Today, I have the weirds. I’ve described it before like this:
Only I’m very aware of why I have the weirds at the moment. It’s because today, I was not authentically myself with others. And yet, whatever I need to discover about that is very much on the boundary of my current knowledge of what I don’t know because I can feel my mind trying to protect me from the exploration.
We’ll do it tomorrow.
We need a coffee.
We’re too tired.
It’s fiiiiiiiine.
I guess beast puppy is at it again! Beast puppy has been playing in these posts since day four!
What was my lesson from beast puppy?
How can you learn to better communicate your needs instead of expecting others to interpret & respond to your mood?
By understanding my own needs.
Why is this coming up? Well, I know the drill. I know to trust intuition and to let it send the words to the keyboard via the meat sack before I’ve had a chance to step in and control it. I learned that last week!
Therefore, I know the key to today’s self-query is my learned insight from day four. So, let’s just see how that fits. For shits and gigs if nothing else!
How can I remain connected to myself whilst being connected to others?
By understanding my own needs.
Now, is it just me, or does that make complete sense? Just me? Ok, let’s dive.
Right, the Weirds!
So yes, today, I have the weirds, and I know it’s because there was a disconnect between who I am and how I interacted with others. Oh crap! Is it because I tried to put the mask back on? You know, that one I’ve been shucking off for years. Wait… Is it possible…?
Waaaaaaaaiiiit…
Ok, yes, this is a tangent, but this is a solid tangent that is completely relevant. Come with me down the rabbit hole but hold on tight because it may get bumpy!
So, what if I have the weirds not because of the perceived inauthenticity but rather because of the discomfort… OF WEARING THE MASK?!
What if, I’ve done so much work (and boy, have I! With much thanks to my therapist and to my bestie), that I’ve become used to the sensation of not masking? Well, at least, not wearing the heavy burden of the full-time mask.
Funny that I instantly jumped in there to protect the mask. But I guess that makes sense, right? I mean, it protected me for over forty years. Oh dear, I see this post blowing out, so time to reign it back in. OK, let’s see how this interesting new development fits with today’s exploration.
How can I remain connected to myself whilst being connected to others?
And I just glitched! Glitching is the term I use to define that moment when I’ve pushed so close to the edge of awareness that I fall over the edge into an abyss of nothing and I literally forget everything I was just thinking. Like a protective reboot.
So, let’s see what last week taught me. I’m going to close my eyes, ask the question, and try, TRY, to stay out of the way and let the meat sack (or someone controlling it) deliver enlightenment.
This may or may not work, but I’m here for it either way.
How can I remain connected to myself whilst being connected to others?
The meat sack says…
I'm thinking about this topsy-turvy. I’m trying to work out how I connect with myself so that I can connect with others, but this question is asking something so much more important. How can I connect with others and maintain a connection with myself.
The key assumption here is that I already have a connection with self.
Ouch.
And that’s the answer right there!
Oh, my goodness. The answer is in the question. Not that these are questions and answers as much as jumping-off points for self-exploration, but in this case, I needed a Q&A, or so it seems.
How can I remain connected to myself whilst being connected to others?
By establishing a connection to self because once I have that, and I mean once I have that unwavering clarity of self and connection, then, connections with others will flow because my own connection to self will be unbreakable. If I had that depth of connection to self, this question would be easy because the response would be:
“Connection to others is an extension because the connection to anyone else has no effect on connection to self.”
Existential goals!
And how do I establish that connection to self? Well, here’s a starting point:
By understanding my own needs.
Is your connection to self sturdy and strong or wavering and unpredictable? When you develop a connection with others, does it impact your own connection to self? I unearthed how I wish I could answer today’s exploratory question, but I’m not there yet. And that’s okay. Because we all have our own journeys and we’ll each arrive at our next stopover just at the right time.
If you are interested in the journey so far — all the days that came before, I’ve collected all the article links here: