Horrible No Good LameAranga On Dope
If Music is the food of Love, I’m going to throw up
In my recent article Ten Concerts You Have To See If You’re A Time Traveler which in no way got a lot of ethical complaints from a bunch of entitled 2020s crybabies who have never even been out of their own time stream I played it straight, but there is a somewhat amusing musical phenomenon that, if you’re doing a major amount of time traveling, you should make time for (get the pun!? I bolded it so you can’t miss it)
During the Middle Ages every now and then people would eat rye bread infected with the fungus claviceps purpurea because life sucks and then you get gangrene, neurological diseases and/or death.
The ergotism you got from eating this bread was colloquially known as St. Anthony’s Fire, but basically it was like taking a super strong dose of LSD without warning or preparation (and with, as noted, negative medical side-effects), sometimes wandering troupes of minstrels of varying levels of skill would get dosed in this way and of course attempted to express their experiences communing with God or Satan through their art.
Some very wild musical art was produced in this way. The illustration above shows the middle of a 3 day freakout in which a section of the Flemish countryside went amok, fueled by the musical experimentation of such a wandering troupe.
I called them the Ergotamine Quartet, and made a number of recordings of their music because it sounded extremely modern in some ways. I passed these recordings over to Agent 19 because I thought he might make use of it in some DJs of Evil Project
but it turns out that young punk Agent 9 is still missing (no idea what happened to him) so that group is on a temporary hiatus.
— Agent 99
The Black And White World
Elvis Costello — who was once a high ranking member of Illuminati Ganga until he decided he preferred to bite the hand that fed him — once said the following:
I was looking at the black and white world It seemed so exciting If you’d only put me back to back with that girl When the night`s inviting With just a little lighting
There’ll never be days like that again
…………………………………..
I was looking at the black and white world Trying to name some pin-up Those days she was just a beautiful girl Now she`s framed and hung up
I don’t think I would mind to live in the black and white world,
— Agent 19
Disco Biscuits In The Sun!
That’s right, have a fun disco. You know who knew how to have a fun disco — Joe Strummer. And nothing is more fun in a disco than overthrowing the bounds of oppression, and talking one of the stupider guys you know from work into disposing of the dead guys who end up left over after the party’s over.
Some months ago I had a kick-ass party. I invited all my friends and everyone interesting I know. Agent 99 and 9 weren’t there.
Anyway, some skinheads showed up to ruin everything because of course they did.
The next morning the skinheads were dead and I had company over to try to dispose of the bodies:
IG Agent 9: “Hey sorry to interrupt but is that shit on the tops of their heads or something else? It’s weird”
IG Agent 77: “Of course it’s shit, what’s weird about it?”
IG Agent 9: “Well I mean given the position that they’re laying in, shouldn’t it just slide off the tops of their heads on to the floor?”
IG Agent 77: “Sure, but some idiot super-glued the shit on to the tops of their head so that wouldn’t happen”
So — long story short — I got rid of the dead skinheads, some excess garbage bags, Agent 99 and 9, and I hardly had to do any work myself! Cool beans!
— Agent 77
The Playlist for this article is
OTHER RESOURCES
As you will no doubt have noticed we reference tweets from the following people who are not members of Illuminati Ganga — check them out
Noble Ron
Musician, lactose tolerant, works hard, plays hard, and reputedly doesn’t smoke:
Which is GOOD TO KNOW!
Other Articles of Interest Here
Agent 77 cleans up dead skinheads and perverts from a party — but he evidently didn’t do anything to reuse the skeletons, the lazy bastard.
Agent 77 once saw a movie about high school, and now he evidently thinks he lived through it.
Agent 99 likes to make money by taking people forward in time to piss on the graves of their worst enemies
also, he likes to eat Nachos!