Pure Hapenstax — July 2023
On The Death of Important people it is an ethical obligation for others to stop in their appointed rounds, sit down, and reflect.
If one has music, the music should be played, if one can dance then — for those who have gone — the dance must be offered, I have words and must offer them up — incomplete and poor as they are.
My favorite Tony Bennet Song is a pretty clichéd and obvious one —
I Wanna Be Around
I very seldomly have favorites of anything, I mean sure a dozen favorite songs of someone but not just one above all others. But this song is pretty etched in my soul, it has a personal level of Mana for me.
Towards the end of last century I was living in the outer Sunset area of San Francisco, a friend of mine and I had escaped from Utah where I was wanted for distributing psychedelics. When we got to San Francisco we rented a nice little studio apartment which for some reason was affordable, about an hour walking distance to the Haight, just a block away from the hotel I used to stay at when I was doing drug runs — funny enough.
My friend hooked up with a cute Jewish girl who lived near the Haight and thus he was always at her apartment. Meaning I was by myself. Living was easy I went to college and hardly ever committed any crimes, I was pretty nearly reformed. It felt weird, surreal.
Around the corner from where I lived there was a little cafe. It had a nice breakfast platter, the classics — sausage, omelette, pancakes and so forth. And they had little jukeboxes on the table.
I love the little jukeboxes on the table when you eat, flipping through and finding music.
The thing is most music they put in the little table jukes suck for the intended purpose.
I mean a lot of Rock and Roll is just not suitable eating breakfast at a cafe music, hell lots of it should not be played when eating any kind of food. There is some rock music that you could consider listening to at a roadhouse while eating barbecue and sizing up the bikers you’re going to get in a fight with later but most of the time it is better left alone.
But this place had a great selection of music for eating in a cafe, Mel Torme, Billie Holiday, even Odetta — and of course Tony Bennett, singing I Wanna Be Around which is great to be drinking coffee to while looking out on the empty street on a Sunday Morning, coming down.
— IG Agent 18
Agent 99 swears by this place, he’s not available right now because he’s stuck in a bit of unstable space time. I can picture him now, wet towel wrapped around his head to protect against the “temporal energy flux” (as you can imagine I’ve had to hear that phrase far too many times) as he hangs half way out the Protervus trying to fix the piping with an old wrench he picked up in 19th Century London from some guy named John Moseley
According to him the tool makers back in those days were the best.
I thought I could do a history of the place, about its humble origins as a small shop in the town of Slove in Livurgia, the Vampire problems, Ben Franklin’s involvement, all that, but I found that going in it was running on over 10 pages and should probably become a Novella, which really doesn’t fit the context of these things, but it makes sense because unlike 99 I don’t get all wet at the thought of going to scrounge through what is essentially capitalism’s flea market of the multiverse, and as such I cannot give a real maudlin sniffle-worthy intro on how one time I found a Tijuana bible there written by John Dee or something of a similar nature, which that kind of things is surely 99’s meat, bread, butter, bourbon, hat, cane, and drunk hooker with the clap.
— Agent 77
So, just days later another giant departs the Earth, tearing a whole through the sky as she reached terminal escape velocity.
I don’t remember when I started listening to Sinead O’Connor but I know a couple weeks later an acquaintance of mine was talking her up. So that means it was shortly after my own band had crashed and burned spectacularly — The Grateful Dicks — named such because of our brilliant business plan to have dickheads follow us from show to show.
So I was naturally trying to get some of my poppier songs into my friend’s band, it was him and his brothers, they were Pakistani, they had a pretty good family in a pop band dynamic, but it didn’t go anywhere.
Anyhow I was a Sinead fan as pretty much everyone was at the time in the circles I ran in.
So when the thing that everyone talks about went down, and which I guess I should talk about too, I didn’t actually have an opinion.
Oh she talked shit about the Pope, well I guess she’s Irish, I bet she has her reasons. And that was that for me. I didn’t know what she was on about or really why everyone was mad at her, they were a bunch of non-Irish, non-Catholic people in most cases where I was at, slagging her off.
Often there was overlap between the skinheads and rednecks I was always having fights with and the ones complaining about Sinead, so that just solidified my opinion that she must be in the right, whatever it was about.
I honestly did not understand until years later it was a sexual abuse in the Catholic Church thing, when that whole scandal broke and some few people actually had the balls to stand up and say we were wrong and Sinead was right — then I got it.
And then I was even more confused, how could anyone not think there was sexual abuse in the Catholic Church? Western Civilization’s literature and gross humor has gone to that well for water many times. But when it was actually going on I remained on periodically cognizant of it, as I was focused on writing poetry, doing lots of drugs, being a criminal / or homeless person spending all day in the library reading, and fighting Neo-Nazis (there were a lot of them in Utah).
I always figured Sinead and I would get along, which is often not the feeling I’ve had about many people in the public eye, mainly because while she might not have approved of all my choices I feel pretty confident she would have approved of 75% of them, and thinking about it, if you think Sinead would approve of you 75% maybe you are OK after all.
Her top song for me — Troy — definitely a major component of the great rock version of the Iliad and The Odyssey that someone should make a playlist of some day.
— IG Agent 18
The Cascade of Guardian Nannies, one of the multitudes in the order of Ishim, the lowest hierarchy of Angels, comprise a very combative and stern node in the connected acyclic undirected graph of heavenly beings.
Duels on points of honor or for the protection of their human charges are commonplace.
Young Michael Banks was a lad of good moral upbringing, thanks to his Guardian Nanny, Mary Poppins, of high spirits and possessed of a good deal of physical bravery. He looked old for his age, thanks to all the sports and outdoors activities and hanging out with a chimney sweep down by the Zoo when not in school, Chimney sweeps being notable for looking older than they should, but probably also in no small part to the fact that men of the Banks family often look older and more solid than they actually are.
These factors enabled him to volunteer for the Derbyshire Yeomanry under an assumed name when 15 and looking 18, claiming to be a youngish looking 19 and of course was immediately sent to the first line. One doesn’t want to waste enthusiasm like that.
Thus young Michael was deployed to Gallipoli, and displayed exceptional heroism in the battle of Scimitar Hill where he was wounded, unknown to him (because of his having run off to play soldier) his sister Jane was also stationed at the same place as a nurse, so Jane saw her brother for the first time in two years as she had to help in the removal of his left arm.
Michael in delirium told his sister “I saw her, I saw her Jane, I saw Mary Poppins reaping the dead and bringing them to heaven” before he passed out.
— IG AGENT 81
The Playlist for this article
OTHER RESOURCES
As you will no doubt have noticed we referenced tweets from the following people who are not members of Illuminati Ganga — check them out
Dzintra — Author
Dr. Acula
Other Articles of Interest in relation to the Agents involved in this article
Agent 18 helps out with music recommendations across the Multiverse and talks too much
As well as having written The Mixtape of Taliesin a book of mystical poetry that is 1/3 Tarot themed, 1/3 retettlings of ancient Welsh Poetry and Legends, and 1/3 modern poems on the theme of Taliesin — with an extra middle section about Utah which somehow thematically links to everything else. Neat trick that.
Agent 77 spends a lot of time thinking about eternal darkness and Ze Germans.
Agent 81 was recently promoted
