BREAKING NEWS
Fiction Writer Gets Boosted on Medium
Did the Medium Illuminati hijack Medium’s boost feature?
Thursday, 30 March 2023, Mediumtown. It was a delightful humpday for Medium writer JF Danskin after discovering that one of his excellent stories got honoured by Medium’s new boost feature.
The Kraken News immediately sent out their nosy journalists to investigate the matter. Could Medium’s CEO have listened to our journalist’s opinion piece arguing for the value of boosting fiction? Or maybe there was a larger conspiracy at work?
Sleepless in Scotland
At the time of writing, JF Danskin was tired but happy after almost 4000 claps kept him awake for three days. “Sometimes, I got a short break because the clapping readers injured their hands. Still, I couldn’t manage a nap because I was busy with the 69 comments that ensured I stayed awake while the cheering crowd bandaged their bloodied hands.”
The massive amount of notifications kept him busy, JF Danskin told The Kraken News. “It was nice to see that much engagement. At some point, it felt like grading essays in school, though. The comments become repetitive after a while. Still, I felt thrilled to get boosted, although I thought a boost would wake me up instead of exhausting me.”
Danskin didn’t waste any of the sleepless time. Instead, the author used the time to hack a massive amount of words into his keyboard. “My fans will love it. There’s nothing random there, just a nice bunch of new prompts!”
Medium writer Kathy K told The Kraken News JF Danskin is a great author to collaborate with. “If he isn’t writing on a train, he may spend time in his writer’s den. Jon has boundless answers to creative questions and always aspires to level up his creativity. He really deserved to get a boost!”
Shattered worldviews
A boost for a fellow fiction writer excited the fiction community as much as it threatened to shatter worldviews. The fact Medium boosted an excellent non-fiction story about fiction writing helped to stifle mass panic.
“I’m so happy for Jon. His stories are like sorcery and never fail to excite me. I thought armageddon was finally here!” said Bradan Writes Stories, “I must know because I survived several Kraken-led apocalypses!”
Is conspiracy at work?
Still, an anonymous source, namely the Medium conspiracy theorist Daicy Kells, claimed it was unlikely for Medium to boost a fiction writer in general. Kells claimed a secretive group called the Medium Illuminati infiltrated Medium’s servers with the help of Medium’s nemeses — the Guin Z.
The genetically-enhanced rodents combine all the power of guinea pigs in the size of hamsters. The group temporarily living in Medium’s basement has previously hacked the writing platform’s servers. They also left weird voice messages for CEO Toby Satirebine, also known as The Trainer, who allegedly has called their mischief an insult to professionalism.
Bogus claims
Officer Medium M Medium of the Medium Variance Authority rejected the claim of a conspiracy at work. “Com’on! This sounds like lousy satire. A great writer got boosted!” Still, Medium’s spokesperson Intern №2 apologised for any confusion. “Sure, we will boost great fiction writers, just not their fictional stories.”
“JF knows where the writing magic happens. Believe me when I say that his profile looks anything but spartan. Jon wrote a lot in his almost one-and-a-half years on Medium. By the way, don’t tell anyone, but I think he is in league with some adventurers on Medium,” says Sieran Lane.
JF Danskin laughed when we asked where he finds his motivation. “There’s no mysterious source of motivation. For me, the adventure never ends. Oh! It is that late. I’m sorry, but I gotta get out of this place. You know, I’m on the road to another writing adventure!”
We wish him the best of luck!
Breaking News:
Medium CEO confesses: Jay C? Well, I have no clue who you’re talking about!
In Other News:
Local Man Helps Writers To Get Going by writing correspondent JF Danskin
Novelist Gifts Free Creativity Boosts by creative correspondent JF Danskin
About The Kraken News — Writing Prompt by Bradan Writes Stories
💯 Story Challenge — News Edition (73/100)
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