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Breaking News: Medium Glitches are Gamification Features
Changes aim to keep writers engaged and creative
Saturday, 21 January 2023, San Francisco. Leaked documents reveal that the popular writing platform Medium secretly introduced gamification. The revelation comes after months of complaints by writers about glitches on the website.
The document, which was never intended to be released to the public, proves that Medium proactively introduced the supposed glitches to keep writers engaged and creative. After intensive research, our investigative journalist uncovered the genius behind the gamification glitches.
Genetically modified guinea pigs had taken possession of Medium’s servers. The so-called Guin Z guinea pigs were reduced to the size of hamsters, but unlike their Guin Y and Guin X predecessor, they have higher cognitive power than our correspondent.
Their unsolicited tweaking led to comedic effects, positively influencing writers and their creativity. Their approach was subsequently improved and secretly implemented on the website.
“It is a rather ingenious idea,” said tech expert and behavioural psychologist Marcus Jungfreud, “that keeps writers awake. Writers never know if the home button is still there when they open a new page, so they must plan coping strategies and react promptly to the website’s erratic behaviour.”
An anonymous insider explained the miraculously disappearing claps served a similar purpose. “What do you do when your claps disappear under your friend’s story? You go back and clap … again. And again. And again. That’s how you create views!”
Sandy Sanderson, the Top Writer in Top Writing and Topless Writing, described it as the funniest writing experience since primary school. The hairy-chested 50-year-old man from Low Hutton, England, refused to wear clothes above the beltline during the interview. Sanderson revealed he regularly giggled and made bets with himself about where on his profile pic of a muscular, shaved chest would appear.
Back to the newsroom and Jacinta Palmer.
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About The Kraken News — Writing Prompt by Bradan Writes Stories:
💯 Story Challenge — News Edition (8/100)
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