Digital Anxiety is Real
5 simple ways to add mindfulness to our virtual life
Two iPhone, one iPad, two laptops, one additional screen, one Kindle, one Fitbit and a smart TV. At one point, my life was taken over by these products.
24/7, if it wasn’t my email, it’s my Instagram notification. Then my phone rang when I was on another Zoom call. My boyfriend called me on Facebook Messenger whilst my mum was calling me on Facetime, all screens beeped at once.
In absolute fear, I hid under the table, where there was no screen but only the cables. I was unable to move, paralysed, except tears and sweat were falling down my face and my pack. I was hyperventilating.
This concluded my first digital anxiety attack during the pandemic.
How I get a digital anxiety disorder
Sarah Jessica Parker’s character, Carrie Bradshaw, in Sex and the City doesn’t know how to use an iPhone. In the 2008 movie, she was still using a flip phone and struggled to call the missing Mr Big on her wedding day because her friend gave her an iPhone.
I was laughing at how cliche it was in 2008, but in 2020, I was like yeah, legend.
The major issue with over digitalising our lives is that multiple sources of information are available at the same time, instantly. This pinpoints the quantum and the speed of information is flowing.
And the main emotional response we can have would be feeling overwhelmed.
I’ve never felt overwhelmed in my life until I had that many devices. I’m generally very quick in absorbing, analysing and retaining information (I’m a geek). But information is coming in a speed and quantity that exceeds my ability to respond, so my instinctive reaction was to switch myself off and hide.
This is a classic case of anxiety disorder.
How my life has changed now
Before I tell you what I’ve done to successfully cope with this overwhelming feeling that turned to actual mental health illness, I can tell you how I feel now.
I love watching Youtube again, and I can read emails without fainting. I also don’t have typos that often, and I can interact with people with friendliness (yes, can you believe it).
What I meant by the above is I didn't become Carrie Bradshaw who is clearly repulsed by technology. I become friends with technology, I have a healthy relationship and functioning work and leisure life that incorporates technology.
I can even sleep with my Fitbit on (which I couldn’t and felt suffocated when I was in the vortex of digital tragedy).
It’s important as technology is what keeps us connected with our friends, family and the world during the pandemic. We shouldn’t strive to become a hermit, but a person who can be in and out of the cave freely.
5 ways to have a healthy relationship with technology
- Pick something to be non-digital
It’s true that there are only a handful of things in life that cannot be digitised. So the question is it’s our choice how much of our lives need to be digitised.
Just as Bill Gates prefers to read paperbacks, and many of us are obsessed with Amanda Rach Lee’s hand-drawn bullet journaling, there are values in non-digitalising. I’ve also chosen to write on notebooks and read paper books, and I’m planning to sell my iPad and Kindle eventually.
I find that by doing so I don’t get distracted that easily and my eyes really get to rest. There are values in single-function items.
2. Name 5 things you see outside your screens NOW
The internet has everything we need. It really does. But staring at a digital plant is not the same as looking at a tree, travelling is not the same as watching a traveller’s programme. I know we can’t really go out at the moment, but raise your head now! tell me five beautiful things you see beyond your screen.
I read this exercise from a novel called Big Summer. This brief exercise helps us to regain mindfulness at the present moment, and re-establish a relationship with our physical space and things. Every time you feel anxious, do this, and this may calm you down.
3. Dancing and movement
When I was a kid, I liked to dance in the dark. I closed my bedroom door, played my CDs(!) in its loudest volume, and imagined I was Avril Lavigne. We might be playing music on Spotify or Youtube now, but we don’t need to stare at the screen when we listen to music. Let’s move your body.
I also like to do lunges when I’m waiting for my coffee to brew, it’s so random and contagious. People see me and will do lunges with me (socially distanced, of course). A quick circulation of the energy, amazing.
4. Leave your phone at home when going for walks
I have moved to a peaceful seaside town lately and the view is still breathtaking enough for me to feel at awe. There were times I take pictures of the sunset with my phone, but soon I realise the sea is prettier through my own eyes rather than my camera lens. We don’t need to snap everything and put it online.
I used to get anxious when I went for walks because I felt that some urgent emails would require my attention. But the truth is, you’re entitled to a walk (reasonably length and time) and the email can wait. So don’t bring it, just don’t.
This is also why I have my Fitbit on, it counts my steps. I don’t need a phone.
5. Cook slow dishes
I am from Hong Kong and Cantonese food is about quick and dirty. It has a concept called wok energy where the umami flavour of food is pushed out very quickly through a very heated wok. Stews are not everyday food and we can make a few dishes for dinner within an hour.
I came across the opposite of wok energy from the Scandanavian concept of hygge. Because Northern Europe is cold, having a pot of something stewing in the kitchen warm up the house, and ingredients become hot, soft and flavourful when cooked with spices, herbs and stock.
During the lockdown, I have used cooking as a form of escape. I have cut up a whole chicken, make katsu curry from scratch and even filo pastry (not store-bought). I was fully immersed in the cooking and each step, doing lunges when waiting, and a bit of dance to the background music. Then afterwards I savour my dish mindfully and take long walks without my phone for digestion (see what I’m doing here!).
I hope this article helps you to realise we are, like Carrie Bradshaw, has a choice in not getting being in sync with rapid digitalisation. We can still read paperbacks and write journals. Clubs might be closed but we still can dance; Gyms might be shut but we can still squat.
The physical world still exists, we can’t get fed through the screen. It’s easy to forget this, surprisingly. Turn off the screen when you next eat and focus on the dishes in front of you. It’s yummy enough for you 100% attention.
Hey, it’s time, name the five things around you now.
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