Psychology and Mental Health

The Universal Power of Giving to Others from the Heart

The more we give intentionally and generously, the more blessings we get

This is a paradoxical story. Whether we accept or deny it, everyone is selfish on this planet. However, our selfishness varies in diverse parts of the spectrum. Selfishness is context and dose-dependent, creating a meaning based on the perspectives of the individuals.

Like all neutral things in life, such as sugar, cholesterol, fats, hormones, and even fear, selfishness also creates a paradoxical situation in life.

The complex and often misunderstood nature of selfishness can be a source of confusion and misconceptions for many people. To shed light on this psychological and paradoxical construct, I will seek to clarify its nature without sugarcoating or obscuring the truth.

Selfishness has connotations filtered through our perspectives. Unlike common beliefs, there is nothing wrong with healthy selfishness, in my opinion, as long as it does not harm the selfish person and others.

Healthy selfishness could even give benefits to the selfish person and others. However, unhealthy selfishness (e.g., narcissism or greed) could be problematic for selfish people.

Self requires protection for survival in human form. Therefore, selfishness is a typical characteristic of humans. For example, so-called selfish people are not evil unless they harm others.

Nature is full of selfishness. For example, I also observed selfishness in animals like dogs. Like many other people, I love dogs as they show love using their selfishness. The more they love us, the happier they get, making us joyful in the process.

Furthermore, a selfish person might be altruistic at the same time. I proved this experimentally. Thus, I attempt to unfold this paradoxical and confusing idea by reframing it based on my experience and perspectives with brief examples.

How My So-Called Selfishness Made Me More Caring and Happier

When reviewing the spiritual literature and observing leaders in the field, I noticed a typical pattern for happiness.

The pattern was the importance of giving to others without expecting anything in return. This notion is considered virtuous and spiritual. I loved the idea and got attracted to it at a very young age.

Previously I documented a childhood experience that introduced me to the concept of karma. Interested readers might check this story titled The Role of Karma in Mental Health and Well-Being.

When I gained awareness of karma and noticed it worked for me, my perspective on others and life changed. An invisible power orchestrates the manifestation.

I wanted to meet this orchestrator and understand its role and mechanism. Finally, after numerous meditation sessions, it dawned on me. It was the self who orchestrated it.

Like selfishness, another concept that has connotations is ego. There is nothing wrong with the ego as long as it does not harm other people.

The ego also creates a paradoxical situation. It is impossible to survive without ego, as I mentioned in a previous article titled Allow the Ego to Dance with Higher Self to Find the Sweet Spot in Life.

However, an untamed ego could be harmful to self and others.

Self is a complex psychological concept. Until we find ways to define consciousness, it is impossible to understand the true nature of the self.

In the meantime, we have significant hypotheses giving us valuable perspectives. My favorite is the classification of self as higher and lower.

We cannot empirically prove the existence of a higher and lower self. Nevertheless, it is possible to experience it mentally and spiritually.

How does this hypothesis relate to my point of selfishness and care for others?

The spiritual literature and anecdotes compelled me to try giving and reap the psychological benefits.

My selfish motive to become happy encourage me to have empathy and compassion for others. Something unusual happened.

This instinct from the lower self has started feeding my higher self. As claimed by those wise people, the more I gave, the more I received. I also sensed it subjectively by observing the neurotransmitter profile in my brain, manifesting as a good mood.

I started experimenting intensely and methodically during my studies in cognitive science. One practical way was to make small and anonymous donations as a hobby.

The receivers did not know about my gifts. It did not matter to me. But the results affected my physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

My goal in giving gifts was not to get the blessing of the receivers. Instead, my selfish behavior was to make myself happier and more joyful.

I also experimented with this idea with intangible entities, such as the daily act of kindness for strangers and sharing my valuable experiences that could benefit my proteges and the public in my writing and speaking practice.

I received the same well-being results in this approach. For example, the more I cared for others, the happier I got. The tangible benefits of intangible gains were bonuses.

My practice of self-love and self-compassion for physical and mental health, which might be considered selfish behavior, enabled me to love others more, increasing my empathy and compassion.

Final Words

Life is full of paradoxes. For example, the good things in our perspective might produce undesirable results for others, and the bad stuff in one’s viewpoint could create good results. It all depends on the dose and our perceptions.

Even though some people perceive selfishness as an evil act, if it is used correctly and mindfully, it can produce virtuous results. My transformation from scarcity to abundance mentality is a prime example.

Ironically, my selfishness made me more intuitive and spiritual.

For example, I gained a feeling of inner peace by meeting the requirements of my selfish behavior to become happier and have a more fulfilling life by giving without expecting.

My higher self has benefited from the process generated by my lower self and got empowered by my systematic selfish act.

As a top writer, David Gerken, mentioned in a recent story, “spirituality is all about working on getting to a place where you’re okay inside, regardless of what’s going on outside.”

Our selfish behavior, if channeled to produce benefits for others, can create a win-win position for us and others. While others benefit from tangible outcomes such as an anonymous gift, we can enjoy the good feelings inside, making us happy and fulfilled.

My selfishness compelled me to care about others. In hindsight, who could have thought that such selfish behavior would end up in a fulfilling life?

Intentional and healthy selfishness is one of the reasons I feel younger and healthier as I get older.

I hope my unconventional thoughts and practices might provide valuable perspectives on this paradoxical human condition. In the comments section of this piece, I’d love to read your thoughts on this fascinating point.

Thank you for reading my perspectives. I wish you a happy and healthy life.

Besides aiming to increase the hormonal intelligence of my readers and writing about neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, GABA, and acetylcholine, one of my goals as a writer is to raise awareness about the causes and risk factors of prevalent diseases that can lead to suffering and death for a large portion of the population.

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