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bad days.</p><p id="4500">Usually, the pain is mostly dwelling on negative thoughts in bed, not being able to sleep after 6am.</p><p id="9825">My mind seems to turn into a demon who takes things in my life, tells me how badly I’ve done with them, and how little worth I have.</p><p id="9ee4">Mostly about my girl.</p><p id="f44e">If she will cheat tonite or not?</p><p id="501c">It stings, it hurts, and it is very sad to imagine my life without her. And I know this because we have broken up many times before.</p><p id="c385">I know that if I break up with her, I will have to take the pain and go through it for who knows how long?</p><p id="2b65">Or, I will have to develop my self esteem and independence. Be a strong male.</p><p id="602d">I just read this article which gave me a lot of great words on how to grow.</p><div id="afd2" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-be-alone-the-subtle-art-of-learning-to-love-yourself-b7cd09079e15"> <div> <div> <h2>How to Be Alone: The Subtle Art of Learning to Love Yourself</h2> <div><h3>Until you do, you can never fully love others.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*DlLlbqOAuSX-gEvF)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="5d83">For now, I am going to read that article many times and put myself on a path towards independence and self love.</p><p id="c214">I have little choice if I want to avoid pain and grow as a human being.</p><p id="b49e">I will try to read some of Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu.</p><p id="e496">This is where I am on Day 1 and I h

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ope to have better words on Day 2.</p><p id="4432">I hope this information can help you, the reader, if you are experiencing any of these things.</p><p id="63c9">peace,</p><p id="8555"><a href="https://readmedium.com/day-25-depression-and-dependence-pain-fe9228c30f11"><b>What is a narcissist?</b></a><b> Must read to understand about how they act.</b></p><p id="b8eb"><a href="https://readmedium.com/day-2-fighting-depression-and-dependency-pain-1c5e34199b42"><b>Read Day 2</b></a></p><p id="0571">My narcissist poem.</p><div id="20ed" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/relationship-hell-aca531bb73e6"> <div> <div> <h2>Relationship Hell</h2> <div><h3>How it may feel after narcissistic abuse…Poem 23</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*JFoCDBBVlZ-LTIT1VdMF3A.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="283e"><a href="https://readmedium.com/about-me-paul-neathery-ea54ef3e20d3"><b>Learn more about me below:</b></a></p><div id="40b3" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/about-me-paul-neathery-ea54ef3e20d3"> <div> <div> <h2>About Me — Paul Neathery</h2> <div><h3>Magical, musical, romantic writer about life.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*97CwazPx2FAFFLdc.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Day 1: Depression And Dependency Pain

How to deal with depression and breaking up with a narcissist.

Hopes of writing myself out of the pain of a failing relationship.

Update, May 8, 2022: It’s come to my unfortunate attention that my X has many narcissistic traits. I encourage anyone that is going through a weird and painful relationship to please research narcissism.

No one told me about this and I was clueless. 4 years later I know about narcissism but am paying the very painful price for having dated one. Below are some links for you to learn from. Read the 1st one. Very helpful and informative.

What is a narcissist? Narcissist Questions/Answers. / Narcissist Video Help

I wrote the first many days before I really knew what a narcissist was and that my X acted towards me with many narcissistic traits.

Day 1:

I have been with my beautiful and loving girlfriend for almost 4 years.

But, I don’t know how much longer we will be together because she is seriously disappointed and hurt at my actions.

I am not saying that she is right about all of them, but enough of them for me to take notice, speak sharply to myself, and write in hopes to get better.

This is Day 1 which is the most severe of the last 3 bad days.

Usually, the pain is mostly dwelling on negative thoughts in bed, not being able to sleep after 6am.

My mind seems to turn into a demon who takes things in my life, tells me how badly I’ve done with them, and how little worth I have.

Mostly about my girl.

If she will cheat tonite or not?

It stings, it hurts, and it is very sad to imagine my life without her. And I know this because we have broken up many times before.

I know that if I break up with her, I will have to take the pain and go through it for who knows how long?

Or, I will have to develop my self esteem and independence. Be a strong male.

I just read this article which gave me a lot of great words on how to grow.

How to Be Alone: The Subtle Art of Learning to Love Yourself

Until you do, you can never fully love others.

medium.com

For now, I am going to read that article many times and put myself on a path towards independence and self love.

I have little choice if I want to avoid pain and grow as a human being.

I will try to read some of Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu.

This is where I am on Day 1 and I hope to have better words on Day 2.

I hope this information can help you, the reader, if you are experiencing any of these things.

peace,

What is a narcissist? Must read to understand about how they act.

Read Day 2

My narcissist poem.

Relationship Hell

How it may feel after narcissistic abuse…Poem 23

medium.com

Learn more about me below:

About Me — Paul Neathery

Magical, musical, romantic writer about life.

medium.com