Book of Humor
Related stories by Wendy Scott
Making people laugh is my superpower. I found this out yesterday when a fellow writer told me. So it must be true.
Personally, I would have picked teleportation or flying. Or making lots of money.
Being a bit of a sci-fi geek, picking a superpower is a recurrent topic in my circle.
As are questions such as, ‘Who would win the fight? Superman or Wolverine?’
Homework:
- What’s your superpower?
- Who would win the fight?
Answers in the comments section, please with your rationale.
I’ll shut up now as the most not funny thing is people saying how funny they are. I remember it from school, ‘I’m so funny,’ Tracy from Lower 3B would say.
No, you’re not, I’d think grumpily, ‘You’re a stuck up bitch with a bad home perm and no eyebrows.’ It was the seventies, after all.
About Me
I’m a Brit living in Auckland who’s spent nearly forty years in the workforce.
My professional expertise is in leadership, career progression, learning & development, and random HR stuff. I also write about dating and sporadically knock out some humor and comedic verse.
If you want to learn more about me and see me in a rather fetching Poison Ivy outfit, click here:
Tip of the day: Never make your own Poison Ivy outfit, it took me bloody forever sewing all those leaves on.
Chapters
If you are wondering if I’ve gone off my rocker, all this Story Book/Chapters/About Me palaver is part of a new initiative by Dr Mehmet Yildiz.
I think it’s a great idea to help writers get their stories sorted into categories.
This way people expecting a humorous story don’t have to put up with a dissection of SMART goals. Unless it’s performance appraisal writing time. Then they are all over me. Bastards.
If you want to join, just write your ‘Book’, submit it to Illumination, and tag Dr. Yildiz.
With no more ado, here are some of my humorous pieces that I hope make you laugh. Or at least don’t bore you and make you want to poke out your eyes with a stick.
Never Mind the Bollocks is my rant about pretentious office speak. If you hate being in and out of that damn box, this one might amuse you. The only box I know about is the one that my virginity came in. As in, “I lost my virginity, but kept the box it came in.”
Medical Checkups: The Bane of The Boomers | by Wendy Scott | Feb, 2021 | Medium
I wrote this one after getting an onslaught of texts and reminders about medical checkups. Since I’ve turned fifty, the medical profession seems overly keen on monitoring my every bodily function. It’s not boosting my self esteem. Just sayin’.
Funnier than it sounds. My Kiwi friends told me the title put them off. What? To a Brit anything to do with bottoms, bums or bowels is hilariously funny.
Why is My Underwear so Uncomfortable? | by Wendy Scott | MuddyUm | Jan, 2021 | Medium
Usually, I like being a woman but sometimes being on Planet Lady really pisses me off. Another rant, this time about my bras and knickers. And tights.
TV Sex Confuses Me. It doesn’t make any sense | by Wendy Scott | ILLUMINATION | Jan, 2021 | Medium
Recently I’ve taken to dissecting every sex scene I see on TV. I am overly loud and ‘spoil it’ for the other viewers. As they are only my family, I don’t care. If you are as annoyed at the misrepresentation of sex on the telly as I am, have a look.
Make sure to read the comment by Nihan Küçükural as she is a screenwriter and explains why TV sex is portrayed so unrealistically.
I didn’t really bewitch him. I did a science experiment on him. It must have worked as we have been together nearly four years. If you want to experiment on your other half with a bit of eye-stary woo-woo magic thrown in, have a look.
I also reveal how he caught me, so the upside is you’ll know how to avoid being caught. The downside is, you’ll never be able to watch The Big Bang Theory again.
The next two do have comedic elements, so I thought I’d stick them in here.
Mainly because I don’t know where else to put them, and I’d rather slit my own throat than have a Lifestyle Book. I bet those words will come back to haunt me one day. Oh well.
Why I Want a Separate Bedroom From My Boyfriend | by Wendy Scott | ILLUMINATION | Jan, 2021 | Medium
Spoiler alert! He snores and wriggles about.
Covid interrupted my house move, and so all my stuff is in storage. If you want to see pictures of my living room as it has never looked before or since, my Tardis biscuit tin and my collection of 70’s children’s annuals, have a look.
Final Words
I hope my stories made you smile.
Keep a lookout for more, as in the words of Arnie, “I’ll be back.”
If you like articles about leadership and dating or want to work on your career, I’ll be doing a Book of those as well. In the meantime, they are on my profile feed.