8 Essential, Yet Harsh Rules for an Easy Life

Are you ready to take your life to the next level?

If you, like me, are on a constant journey to improve your life.

I am a sucker for rules that can make my life easier.

Sometimes those rules are not easy at all. In fact, they are uncomfortable truths we need to face to elevate the quality of our lives.

Here are my non-negotiable hacks that make for a better life.

Own your morning.

How you start your day is how you live it.

You don’t have to wake up at 5 a.m. to control your mornings.

But you have to organize the beginning of your day to prime yourself for what lies ahead. Morning is crucial to make sure you have the right mindset for the rest of the day.

Get picky about the thoughts you start your day with instead of having a knee-jerk reaction to the world.

You have to prepare yourself to go out there. Sure, unexpected twists of events will happen. But when you start your day by calming down your nervous system and tackling the essential tasks first, you will be better prepared to face the world.

In the morning, nurture the connection you have with yourself. Meditation invites silence, space, and discipline into your day. It is also the best time to set an intention.

If you are overwhelmed with your thoughts, journal what feels heavy on your mind. Empty your mind before you go about your day. Do not bring yesterday’s worries into today’s attitude.

Visualization is another great tool to start your day right. Before an important event, imagine it as if it had already taken place.

How did it go?

What was the outcome?

How do you feel after accomplishing your goals?

Feel it. Believe it. And you will see it.

Stay off the phone. You own the device, not the other way around. Once you open the floodgates of emails, notifications and buzzing, your focus goes out the door.

Master your craft. In the morning, your mind is fresh and alert to new ideas. Mornings help you achieve momentum before anyone else has a chance to interrupt your focus. It is the best time to tap into your zone of genius.

A solid morning is a recipe for harmony and peace of mind throughout the day.

Win the day by owning your mornings.

Take control.

There are many things in life you have little control over, yet your thoughts and responses to life fall under your jurisdiction.

Remind yourself of what you can control.

You cannot control the traffic on your way to work. But you can manage the time you have been given while stuck in that traffic.

You can spend it on anger and frustration towards the circumstances or listen to an audiobook, meditate, or make the phone call you have been avoiding.

How often do you waste your energy focusing on things outside your control? The news. Somebody’s mean comment. The weather. Missed flight. Expectations of society.

We have control over so many things in life, yet, we tend to focus on things over which we have no power. As a result, you have no energy and creativity to focus on things you can actually change.

You can control:

• your mindset,
• how kind you are to others, even if somebody treats you badly, do not repeat the same pattern, break the cycle of intolerance and be an example of better treatment.
• how compassionate you are toward the world,
• how you treat your body,
• how you see your emotions (whether they control you or you observe them and let them pass),
• your reactions to somebody else’s mean comment,
• how you view yourself,
• whether you run on autopilot or mindfully craft the day.

Why worry about things you cannot control when you can fill your day with things that depend on you?

Only focus on things you can control.

Chase failure.

Fear of failure prevents you from taking action.

When you avoid taking action, you refuse to grow.

If you refuse to grow, you miss out on life.

To combat the fear, embrace it. Even better, chase it. Get familiar with the presence of fear in your life.

Society has distorted the way we see failure.

Failure is not the end of the road, a scarlet letter for us to bear. Failure is just a fragment of our experience, not a life sentence.

Failure can be a redirection, a lesson, or a treasure trove of wisdom.

When you get comfortable with the possibility of making a mistake and learning from it, several things happen:

• you stop caring what people think,
• you enjoy life as if you were a kid again,
• you learn new skills,
• you open up to new possibilities.

A smooth sea never made a skilful warrior. The more you fail, the more comfortable you’ll be with failure and the negative emotions that come with it.

Dealing with adversity is like weightlifting. It strengthens your character. With time, instead of reacting, you master the art of mindfully responding to crises.

Failures make you a better human.

You cannot get good at life by avoiding failures. You can only succeed if you keep trying to improve yourself, face your fears and overcome them step by step every day. You have to start, stumble, fail and start over again.

How did you learn to walk? By falling and getting back up and then trying again. Failure is not a disadvantage. It is an asset.

The relationship did not work out? Great. It made you appreciate the love and true partnership more.

Do you hate your job? Good. At least you know what you don’t want.

Failures bring lessons. Failures bring you closer to your ultimate goals. Failure is a natural part of learning, growing, and moving forward.

You learn more from your failures than your successes.

Keep your eyes on the prize.

What do you want?

It is a simple question, yet, we rarely align our actions with our priorities.

It is easy to lose track of your dreams. These days, many things compete for our attention. There are notifications, emails to answer, platforms to check up on, bills to pay, and spaces to declutter.

Distraction is an action on the other side of your goal.

Remind yourself of your goal every day.

What is your current goal? What do you work towards?

Starting a YouTube channel?

Writing a book?

Being more physically active?

Healing a relationship with a parent?

Every day, know what your priority is. And focus your actions solely on that. It is not a fancy philosophy but a discipline that yields powerful rewards.

Study what you need to know to brush up on the skill. Read about people who have done the things you want to do. Communicate with people instead of criticizing them at every opportunity you get.

If you cannot think of any goals, focus on values and make them your priorities: kindness, tolerance, compassion, and gratitude.

Pick one. Write it down and post it where you can see it.

Orienting your actions around your priority is the key to living a satisfactory life.

Speak less. Observe more.

Our society is focused on producing more.

We produce more food than ever. Yet, the quality of it declines.

We produce more content on social media than we can chew. Our mental health suffers.

We have infinite technological possibilities to connect with others, yet, our relationships have become shallow and nonexistent.

Quantity rarely corresponds to quality.

You cannot change the mentality of every person on the planet, but you can start with yourself. Start with your relationships with others.

Speak less.

Before saying anything, ask yourself, will it change anything?

When your partner snaps and says something mean, don’t lash out. Pause. Think about your reaction.

Is what you want to say necessary? Will it change your relationship for the better?

Observe your thoughts and emotions. Imagine emotions floating through you, passing your body but not staying with you. You are not your emotions. You feel them and can choose to react or not.

Often, our reactions are destructive.

Yes. People have bad days. They project their anger or hurt onto others. But just because somebody started the chain of hurtful comments, you don’t have to engage.

Break the pattern.

Instead of reacting with more anger, respond with kindness or silence. Non-reaction is powerful. And it guarantees you peace of mind. It makes you a better man.

Your mental health is more important than the temporary egoistic urge to be right.

Is it necessary to fight?

Is it necessary to talk back?

Is it necessary to prove somebody wrong?

Your reaction to live events either makes you or break you.

Accept where you are today.

My golden rule in life is to slow down and appreciate the present moment in its raw form.

Human minds strive towards controlling and manipulating events. Yet, what I have learnt (the hard way), the more we allow for the natural flow of life to present itself to us, the more we enjoy every moment.

Acceptance is a hallmark of psychological maturity. The best life hack is trusting every chapter of your life.

At first, it may seem counterintuitive. But look at nature. It is perfection in its form without our need to meddle in it. Without human intervention, it thrives.

How about applying the same rule to your life?

Start seeing your life as perfection.

That ugly breakup? Not ideal. But it serves its purpose. Either it teaches you a lesson or redirects you to something better. Either way, you gain.

Did you miss a plane? Perfect. You never know what you might have avoided. Appreciate the time you have gained.

Just because you are not starting a family or climbing the corporate ladder as society expects you to, it doesn’t mean you are lost.

Acceptance of where you are today is a form of self-love.

When you start seeing life as a friend, not an enemy, the world becomes rife with possibilities, not limitations.

When you perceive the world from a place of love, you don’t keep score, you don’t criticize, and you don’t get jealous. You thrive.

Feeling comfortable alone gives you the edge.

People fear loneliness because they don’t like being alone with their thoughts.

Traumatic events and uncomfortable situations led to many unprocessed emotions. We don’t want to deal with them so we surround ourselves with people, work or social media. We suppress uncomfortable emotions even deeper.

But you cannot outrun yourself.

Sooner or later everything will catch up with you.

People who feel comfortable with their own thoughts can handle solitude. To feel comfortable alone, look at your mental space.

Time spent with yourself is the best tool to master your emotional state.

What thoughts make you uncomfortable?

What emotions do you want to avoid?

Am I satisfied with how my life is going, or should I change the direction?

Those are valid questions that keep us on the right track. To beat loneliness, instead of running away from it, face it.

Running away from quality time with yourself says a lot about your relationship with self. An unhealthy relationship with self stems from now knowing yourself.

And what is the better way to fix a relationship with oneself than spending time alone? It allows you to discover who you are and what you want.

Making space for yourself is the key to navigating life effortlessly. Real expertise comes from observing yourself.

And when you know yourself, you are better equipped to interact with the people in your life.

Practice detachment.

Holding on to things and people that drain us is lethal. Letting go makes you flexible.

When you accept the fluidity of life, you are no longer a slave to it.

Since it is impossible to control life, you might as well chill out and enjoy every moment while it lasts.

Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care.

It means you are not attached to how things should be but appreciative of everything the seasons of life offer.

Wielding control over how things should play out causes stress and worries that eventually make you sick. Letting go is an homage to your mental and physical well-being.

Attachment means conditioning your well-being upon external events, the job, the relationship, or the outcome of a meeting.

When we are attached to something, we live in the shadow of constant fear of losing the thing or the person we cling to. Living in fear is draining.

The practice of letting go signals abundance. When you detach yourself from needing a specific outcome, or a person, you embody the energy of already feeling complete and satisfied.

The more attached you are, the more unhappy you become. Letting go means being okay with where you are.

Things to let go:

• Draining people. There is no shame in cutting cords with relationships that no longer serve us. It is an act of self-love.
• Worrying. It gives you the illusion of control, but worrying is extremely unproductive. It gives you nothing.
• Reminiscing about the past. Learn, forgive (yourself as well), let go and move on.
• Limiting beliefs. You came here to create a powerful life. Don’t take away this power by believing in ideas that don’t bring you closer to your goals.
• Clutter.
• Seeking approval from others.
• How things are supposed to happen. You have no idea how many things cooperate in your favour. The Universe has bigger plans for you. Instead of resisting changes, trust and allow things to unfold organically.
• Self-criticism. Your inner dialogue determines the quality of your life.

I won’t lie to you. Letting go is hard. But holding on to something that drains you is harder.

Rules of life are simple. The tricky part is remaining true to them.

Accepting what is, focusing on things we can control, embracing mistakes and coining them into superpowers are just a handful of rules that make life much easier.

Yet, it is hard to exercise them once we get used to meddling and tempering with life.

But just because life gets uncomfortable doesn’t mean it cannot get better. Start with small steps every day. Create your own set of rules. Experiment. See what works and what doesn’t.

It is the best way to discover the environment where you can thrive.

Thank you for being here, — Kate