7 Signs that You Have a Wounded Inner Child
Learn how you can recognize signs of having a wounded inner child who needs self-love healing
Could it be that you have a wounded inner child, one that perhaps needs healing?
How do you know if the current day issues that you are facing are connected with your childhood?
Since the past is long gone, why even bother to dig?
These could be questions that you have been asking yourself.
To begin with, where does this idea of having an inner child come from?
The Inner Child Archetype
Well, as I learned in my counseling psychology class, the concept of an inner child can be traced back to psychiatrist Carl Jung. In his work, Jung described a child archetype that lies in our unconscious. Our inner child archetype is a representation of innocence, playfulness, and creativity, along with hopes for the future. It is also akin to a subpersonality that consists of what we have learned and experienced in the earliest years of our life.
Notwithstanding, my greatest learning about the inner child comes from my own experience. Through my mind’s eye, I first saw her during a healing session that had taken me back to childhood. She was wearing an awkward, insecure and pained expression. It’s also how I knew that she needed help.
Interestingly, from a particular study involving adults from 70 to 91 years old, researchers found that the inner child is present throughout life. It is possible for our inner child to be a source of strength or one that holds our repressed anxiety, wounds, or trauma. Where her needs are not resolved, she shows up in an unruly or irrational manner from being triggered today. At times, she may even kick up a storm.
Attending healing can potentially improve the physical, mental, social, and existential dimensions of our well-being. It is why inner child healing forms a crucial part of deep therapeutic work. Needless to say, I wish I started much earlier to work on healing instead of constantly putting it off. Rather than wait till we are 70 or 90 years old, I’d say there is much value in attending to the healing of our wounded inner child sooner rather than later.
7 Indicative Signs that You have a Wounded Inner Child
The signs to look out for include…
1. Tendency to Overreact. You find yourself reacting excessively to the activating triggers. It could be that you have rage or anger issues. Your inner child is running the show when you are not in control of your reactions.
2. Clingy and Needy in Your Relationships. Being clingy or needy can be indications of having a fear of abandonment. It could be that you need plenty of assurance from your loved one, otherwise, you’d go crazy and assume the worst. You have nightmares about being left helplessly alone. Even though your relationships may be toxic, you’d give plenty of excuses to stay on.
3. Deep anxiety. You often experience deep anxiety. On the extreme, you may even suffer from panic attacks. With deep anxiety, it could be that you have the fear that things will turn out horribly and so you find it hard to trust. You are constantly on the lookout for danger signs. Your ability to be and feel at ease is hampered and the quality of your life is reduced.
4. Emotional swings or moodiness. You may experience emotional swings because you don’t seem to know how to self-regulate. Or it may be that you constantly feel moody without knowing the exact reason why. Your emotional mind is in charge and it is hard for you to make a clear and rational decision without getting into overwhelm.
5. Low self-esteem. You constantly criticize yourself and you often feel inadequate or “not good enough”. It may also be that you can’t stop comparing yourself with others. You suspect that there is something wrong with you and that you are fundamentally flawed.
6. Perfectionistic tendencies. You shame yourself when you can’t meet your standards or expectations. It may also be that you take other people’s comments personally because you believe that you need to be perfect. Self-forgiveness is very hard for you. Having perfectionistic tendencies can impact your overall productivity.
7. Feel like a “nobody” and lack of significance. You feel that you are not being seen or heard. There is a sense of being unloved and unlovable. Also, you may believe that you don’t have a place here on Earth, and have existential issues.
Some Words of Advice for Inner Child Healing
It’s perfectly normal to have some lingering doubt about having an inner child who is wounded. If anything, you can start by recalling what it was like when you were a child. Hence, explore your past with curiosity and see what comes up. Obviously, it would help if you are guided by a practitioner (such as myself) who can take you through the healing process.
Chronic issues can arise as a result of failing to heal the wounds of your inner child. Your confidence, health, and relationships potentially suffer. Making the time and effort for inner child healing is a form of self-love. Indeed, reconnecting with your inner child offers therapeutic benefits.
It may feel as if you are imagining your inner child when you start to reconnect. Or it may also be that you can’t see or hear your inner child clearly. What matters is that you work on fostering a connection. Through healing in the here and now, you can look forward to experiencing a more integrated sense of self.
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