7 Habits of Highly Successful Cheaters
Habits are indicators of how much success people will achieve in their chosen endeavors
We are all creatures of habit and these habits come to define us because they make up our character- who we really are. The good and the bad. Habits are also good predictors of how far their inculcators will succeed in any endeavor or any given direction in life.
Like the highly successful people and their oft-touted habits that people try to copy so that perchance they too become successful, accomplished cheaters too have habits that make them very proficient at being who they are and aid them in getting away with the things they do.
The following habits of some long-term, unfaithful partners are some of the main reasons why they are able to maintain the charade of devotion to their committed partners while “successfully” carrying on long-term affairs or their various flings.
1. They as much as possible try to stick to established routines because they know their partners can pick up on sudden changes to the normal. They are therefore ever wary about making the type of sudden changes that will arouse suspicion. So they surreptitious set up strict schedules within already established routines and keep to those schedules. This limits the number of detours that can cause raised eyebrows to the barest minimum.
2. They are really good at lying about even little things and keeping it real simple while they are at it. According to a psychotherapist, Katerina Georgiou, cheaters can promptly come up with seemingly plausible, even though long-winded and unnecessarily detailed explanations to casual questions. However, consummate cheaters are well-practiced in maintaining their cool and delivering the most uncomplicated and quite reasonable sounding lies to explain away any and all queries. Also, after settling on these simple explanations (sometimes in advance) and making them, they stick to them.
“…accomplished cheaters too have habits that make them very proficient at being who they are and getting away with what they do.”
3.It is fairly common with cheaters to try to turn the tables at the first sign of trouble and brazenly accuse their innocent partners of cheating as a form of defense. This according to healing infidelity coach, Caroline Maddena, achieves one of two things: first, it can put their partners on the defensive so they don’t even have the chance to consider the opposite is a possibility, and second, it makes them look so “anti-cheating” that partners think the cheaters couldn’t possibly be involved in it. The truly successful cheaters are perfectly adept at seizing these moments as opportunities to carefully listen to their partners’ worries and suspicions. They then assure them of their undivided devotion and apologize for any acts that may have been “misunderstood” as red flags. Of course, they thereafter make the necessary adjustments to eliminate the causes of those suspicions.
“However, the truly successful cheaters are perfectly adept at seizing these moments as opportunities to carefully listen to their partners’ worries and suspicions.”
4. They have the uncanny ability to keep things tightly knit. When it comes to communicating with their paramours they limit the communication channels because the more channels they use for that purpose, naturally the higher the possibility of leaving trails. On the other hand, keeping all communication on one channel or at least a very limited number of channels makes it easier to do clean-ups when needed. And if some people have to know it is strictly on a need-to-know basis which usually means a small group of people they know can be trusted to keep their indiscretions a secret.
“However, consummate cheaters are well-practiced in maintaining their cool and delivering the most uncomplicated and quite reasonable sounding lies to explain away any and all queries.”
5. They usually keep their finances separate because maintaining joint accounts means their partners can track their spending. Even though they usually use cash a lot, the cash the withdrawals showing up on bank statements can raise a lot of red flags.
6. They have a habit of suddenly beginning to pay more attention to their partners than was usual. Now, of course, it could be a couple going through a rough patch in their relationship and one partner decides to begin going the extra mile to smooth things over. However when it comes to cheaters, guilt is the reason.
7. Consummate cheaters start affairs with people just like them-people who just want to hook up! These are people who couldn't care less about their co-cheaters' alternate relationship status. They prefer this for two reasons:
- sidepieces that want more are the types that get attached and want a “real” relationship and it can get messy when they realize that is not going to happen, and
- sidepieces who are not under any illusions about the hookup don’t need to be lied to, and so cheaters only have to worry about lying to the one person they are supposedly having a real relationship with.
Are there any natural defenses against these prolific creatures of habit?
There are. Unfortunately many are initially dismissive of them because they are so committed to the relationship and only want to believe cheating can never happen in their relationship. Short of catching the cheater red-handed or their confessing these two naturally occurring phenomenon can save you a lot of heartache down the road.
- Your intuition can be like your superpower. Now, granted hunches aren’t exactly solid proof something is up but they have a habit of being correct. However, that uneasy feeling that something is not quite right could very well be the result of your mind subconsciously taking notice of some innocuous signs that something is up. So that tingling sense could be a good indication that you may want to keep your eyes open.
- Your other early warning signals will be when people close to you start asking variously if everything is alright between you two. You see, your friends can quite early begin to notice things that you do not, or are turning a blind eye to and thus they start asking those questions. For instance, family and friends can notice the tension and the increased frequency of your arguments in their presence which could be due to feelings of guilt being experienced by the cheater. According to psychologist and relationship expert, Becky Spellman, “because cheaters often feel guilty, a common psychological mechanism is to try to paint their partner or spouse in a negative light, to “justify” the cheating to themselves. They can sometimes try to provoke arguments or an unpleasant atmosphere to create this situation.”
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