4 Practical Tools to Help You in Your Path to Self-Realization

A guide to knowing how your mind functions and how to be free from its play.

Last year, silence engulfed me. An entire month went by where I was utterly silent. Not just external but internal too. There was no noise inside, no thoughts, only silence.

I am usually chirpy and giggling. But this silence got my family worried.

Their minds were making their stories. Maybe they said something, perhaps someone hurt me, possibly something else happened, etc. But there was no reason within me to clarify anything to anyone.

After a month, I gradually started interacting.

Everybody was taking the blame on them. Amusingly I discovered, the mind is the most significant player in the world. It weaves the story to be excited.

Silence is a neutral state. Happiness and sadness are two polarities, the excited state of mind.

Humans try to tilt the tip on either side.

When adequately fed, animals are resting in their silence. There is nothing to do. We can even see a lion sitting in great peace when he is not hungry. Where is the silence within humans?

Humans have a great appetite for stories. They love to engage in it. Stories excite them. They want to feel something, either happy or sad, that does not matter.

When a hungry mind looks out for attention, it can create stories from a simple blade of grass.

Mind is ego. Ego does not want to rest even for a minute. It wants to kick in every situation. First, it tries to be superior to others. If unsuccessful, it tries to play a victim. Ego needs something to feed on — either be a victim/hero or dangle in between.

When any statement touches your rigid beliefs, you convulse with anger. Somebody body-shamed you, abused you, said something inappropriate, you hug that statement and vow to fight against it.

But there is no one to fight but a self-created illusion.

Ask yourself these questions:

• If somebody said offensive, who took the offense? Who is that ‘I’?
• What compelled you to react to their words?

Who Took the Offense, Who Is Defending?

This concept of ‘I’ is the most significant source of misery in the world. It has led to the epic wars to establish this supremacy of ‘I.’ But ultimately, everybody died trying to prove.

By reacting to insults and offense, others have already overpowered you. Your reactions validate their words. Your peace was fragile to be swayed by mere words.

So if you took the offense, then the following query that arises is who you are?

• Are you a name, gender, religion, or region?
• Are you a body or bodily associated features?
• Are you your thoughts, emotions, or beliefs?
• Are you what people designate to you?
• Are you your profession, position, money, or power?

If you are not the above, congratulations on entering the arena of mighty battle with your limiting beliefs.

Don’t feel compelled to react to someone’s insult. Your non-reaction does not mean that you are giving others a free hand. Instead, it means you stayed in your peace. Rather than being engulfed in the conflict, you chose silence.

Osho has said something beautiful on this:

“Nobody can say anything about you. Whatsoever people say is about themselves. But you become very shaky, because you are still clinging to a false center. That false center depends on others, so you are always looking to what people are saying about you. And you are always following other people, you are always trying to satisfy them. You are always trying to be respectable, you are always trying to decorate your ego. This is suicidal. Rather than being disturbed by what others say, you should start looking inside yourself…

Whenever you are self-conscious you are simply showing that you are not conscious of the self at all. You don’t know who you are. If you had known, then there would have been no problem — then you are not seeking opinions. Then you are not worried what others say about you — it is irrelevant!

When you are self-conscious you are in trouble. When you are self-conscious you are really showing symptoms that you don’t know who you are. Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet.” ― Osho

Unwavering Silence and Peace Come from Self-Realization.

A non-reaction to any external stimuli can only happen when you are anchored within.

Life is full of trials. Nobody knows what life may bring next. You can not control an outward situation. You can not control another person’s reaction, words, or emotions. You can not even control your emotions. You can handle them effectively but never restrain them. Controlling emotions is a doomed effort.

Reactions come from ego. The ego tries to protect itself, creating stories to preserve and prove itself. It creates a hue and cries over small things. A missing item, an overheard conversation, a slightly high pitch voice, or sarcastic words are enough to give you send you into emotional turmoil.

The mind thinks, ‘How dare they? Let me fix them.’

But it is you who needs to transcend your ego and see what the actual cause of exaggeration is. When you are still and silent, there is nobody to defend. The impact of other’s words crashes.

The battle that most spiritual people fight is with themselves — to know who they are. I remember a time when I used to cry and weep to realize what I am? I knew what I am not. A split moment second would send me in peace. Other times it just tantamount to immense grief within.

It was the peak of my search for me, where tears flowed incessantly. The pain in my heart was too much to bear. I realized the barrier was not outside but me. The mind will play all the tricks. Only when we notice its play can we transcend it.

You can never transcend your mind with another thought. It is in silence and thoughtlessness that life reveals itself. Here are the 4 tools to help you recognize your peaceful state.

#1. Meditation

It is one of the best tools.

Meditation is not action. You can never do meditation. Meditation is silence and nothingness that happens after you do a technique.

You can start with any guided meditation. Introduce a simple technique to your routine. Regular practice creates a flair for slipping into meditation.

I have discussed in great detail what meditation is and how you can cultivate a knack for it.

#2. Witnessing:

Witnessing is watching yourself from a distance as a mere spectator.

Whenever and wherever you are, detach yourself from any situation. Start from a peaceful circumstance.

• Look into the situation from a third impartial person.
• Don’t get lost in the maze of your thoughts.
• Drop every thought. Drop all judgments.
• Be aware of all the happenings going on around you.

This is witnessing.

You can not slip into witnessing mode when you are angry. It requires practice. Therefore, start it in your peaceful times. You will develop a flair to slip into witnessing.

Gautama Buddha gave a technique of ‘witnessing.’ By being an impartial witness to your stories. Ramana Maharishi gave a method, ‘Neti-Neti’ or ‘Self Enquiry.’ It means neither this nor that. This novel way of ‘Source Inquiry’ amalgamates both techniques to provide a practical approach to knowing your true self.

#3. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is not meditation. Mindfulness focuses on ‘Now.’

Meditation is doing nothing, whereas mindfulness is directing your attention to the present moment.

The mind creates stories of the past, and based on those beliefs, reaction emerges. Mindfulness anchors you in the present moment. These 3 mindfulness techniques can help you deepen your relationship with life.

#4. Expression

Unexpressed feelings drag you. Whereas expressing your heart liberates you.

We always express our good feelings but not the bad ones. We run from any negativity, be it ours or anyone else's. Expressing your deep emotions free you from your mind. The stories disintegrate. Ego dissolves more and more in authentic expression.

The expression has nothing to do with the other. A truthful, innermost expression has to do with you. It frees you and leads you to a light-hearted life.

These tools help you reveal your innermost expression in a safe environment. You don’t have to worry about any reaction from outside. Just open your heart and follow these techniques.

Takeaways

Mind is ego. At the smallest of dis-balance, the ego kicks in to survive. Only by transcending the mind can you truly live a free life. Freedom from thoughts and beliefs is a long journey. With many slippery pit holes in life, it becomes difficult to be free from mind patterns.

Mindfulness, meditation, witnessing, and expression are the 4 powerful tools that help you identify your mind-based conflicts and go beyond them.

When you truly recognize and experience your real state, no such thing as offense or insult remains. Just empathy and compassion flows.

“The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist.” ― Eckhart Tolle

Thank you, Darshak Rana, for the Prompt — Mind. Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed this, you might also like this: