How to Express Your Deep Feelings When You Feel Frustrated and Stuck

3 techniques to reveal your innermost feelings in a safe environment to lead you towards a lighthearted life.

We, humans, are clever beings. We selectively express our anger. We can not afford to reveal it everywhere and to every person.

You gulp down your frustration in front of your boss. But you don’t think twice before snapping at even a slight mistake of your juniors.

In any argument or discussion, there is one dominant and one secondary figure. In certain circumstances, you are that weaker figure. Other times it is someone else.

You efficiently channel your frustration towards the less dominant one. But it can not happen in every case. You have to shut your mouth or lose your fist in many situations. Even if unwillingly.

It leads to a bitter experience. The suppression either leads to frustration or gets channeled towards more vulnerable people—both hampers mental peace and relationships.

Understand Your Emotions — They Are Essential to Your Wellbeing.

Every emotion is energy. You can not hoard it inside. It has to flow through you.

Remember the feeling of happiness that arises when you share your feeling of love. Flow makes you feel light and happy.

The body is a limited vessel to accumulate any sort of energy. Energy has to move through you. That is why sex seems like a great stress buster. If you do not provide an outlet for your feelings, they can form knots and disease within your body.

Everyone supports good feelings. You channel them more vigorously than bad feelings. You want to remain far from anger, jealousy, hatred, comparison, sadness, frustration, anxiety, fear, etc. Nobody wants to experience them.

But just because you don’t want to encounter them, are you able to steer clear of it? No. Nobody can escape them.

Everybody battles with these feelings. With the inbuilt defense system, you try to overcome them with your logic. You immediately try to distract yourself from it. Suppress them. If they persist, you feel bad about yourselves.

In reality, these emotions do not come from outside circumstances. External situations trigger what is inside you. And you have always concealed these feelings in a dark corner of your mind. Till you acknowledge their presence, they will remain inside.

Suppression of emotions means ignoring them, squeezing them inside the bottomless pit within yourself, throwing them in a dark corner where you can easily ignore them. This is not the answer.

You are carrying the weight of these suppressed emotions wherever you go. Scientific studies state that long-standing repressed feelings cause physical diseases. So, it is healthy to provide an outlet for negative emotions, too.

I understand we all live in a civil society where the expression of negative emotions is unacceptable. We can not go on the street and start shouting abuses.

The expression has nothing to do with another person. It solely has to do with you. Expression is for your physical and mental wellbeing.

#1. Be Shamelessly Naked Before Your Heart — Truthfulness Is the First key.

It is the challenging first step anyone can take.

Nobody wants to see their ugly parts. The eyes want to see the shinier portion, not the shadows. But the path to freedom lies through truthfulness — to be stark naked with yourself.

If you are feeling frustrated, acknowledge that resentment, anxiety, anger, and disappointment. The mind will give many reasons to justify the grievance. But recognize and accept your frustration in all its forms and depths.

Last year, I could not meet my beloved for a very long time. My heart suffered extreme sadness and heaviness. He suggested I bare myself in front of my feelings. It was hard for me. I did not want to feel sad or depressed. And here, he suggested I do exactly the opposite.

My beloved is also my spiritual mentor.

So, I accepted it. Although my physical reality was comfortable, my mental being was all murky. It was challenging to let the muddy waters swamp my mind and heart.

After much effort, I lay bare my heart to my intense sadness. I broke the barriers of feeling well. I accepted I was not okay. I wanted to meet, see, love him, and I could not. I did not hide behind any logic or positivity.

For days I wept and wallowed. I cried as if I had lost someone very close. I did not allow my thoughts to counter my cleansing phase. I just purged and purged till I felt fine. Absolutely fine.

I discovered that society had conditioned us to suppress our negative emotions. In reality, they also need an outlet, just like love, care, and happiness.

This was possible only when I allowed myself to be entirely truthful. With no tinted glasses of positivity, I found a formula for a joyful living in all hopelessness. A life that is not dependent on outer circumstances but is shining within. Truthfulness is the first stepping stone towards it.

#2. Express your Insecurities and Fear to Discover Your True Blissful Nature

Truthfulness is the cloth that cleans the dirty mirror, and expression breaks the limited image reflected in the mirror.

Honesty allows you to see the darkness within. Expression is the action that assists in the removal of darkness. When you know you are stuck in any life situation, you then take action to remove that blockage.

For some, expression comes naturally. But for others, expressing what they truly feel is complex. I am latter.

I grew up in a family where voicing one’s opinion is not famous. It suppressed my verbal expression. I can not explicitly express orally what I genuinely feel. My words are incoherent, and my throat chokes. I require a lot of space and understanding before I truly open my heart.

That is why I started expressing myself through my poems. Expression through written words on paper/computer is easy for me.

Psychological Science shows that expressing your fears helps in actually reducing them. It is better to channel your feelings and emotions in the right way.

Search for your outlets. If you are also like me, you can explore other options too.

When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret. ― Shannon L. Alder

Expose your every fear, frustration, anger, etc., in front of you. Take your time. But start doing a little every day. Express them, even if it means before a mirror.

When you put out your every fear and anger in the light of awareness, they will dissolve by themselves. Letting go of all the suppressed emotions helps you to live in your natural state of light-heartedness.

How to Express Yourself:

#1. Communicate when you are not angry.

We are accustomed to reacting immediately. In anger, you don’t always say what has to be communicated. Anger dissolves and blocks the purpose of communication.

Give yourself a time limit of 24 hours before responding. Let yourself be off the steam — practice verbal expression and communication when you are not angry.

While interacting, be open to looking at things from a neutral aspect. Keep an open mind while communicating. It helps you understand other’s perspectives too.

Authentic communication happens when both persons understand what the other person is saying without self-interpretation. A calm mind easily understands beyond words. Postpone any discussions until you feel at ease from within. It will give you time to reflect as well.

#2. Be creative.

Add the magical door of creativity to your life.

Creativity helps in expressing your inner self. You can write, paint, do poetry, gardening. Singing and dancing are also creative forms of expression.

Support any activity that helps your heart to grow.

#3. Catharsis is Crucial for Inner Cleansing.

Catharsis is a powerful tool to purge all the suppressed emotions.

I can’t emphasize enough the extraordinary significance of catharsis in my life. It transformed my anger and fear. Once I acknowledged these heavy emotions, I gave these emotions an outlet for their expression.

The separation from my beloved made me sad and upset. I used to lock myself in a room. Imagine my beloved in front of me and cry. The sadness of separation sometimes converted into helplessness and anger. I gave my anger space, time, and place to express in all its crudeness. I screamed or punched in the air. I yelled my disappointments.

By doing this, I let go of everything that drowned me. After all, anger was within me, which is why something little was enough to provoke me. Once I let my anger and frustrations flow through me, I became more accepting of life and peaceful responses.

The essence of catharsis is never to hold back. Do it regularly until these dense emotions are flushed outside of your system.

Catharsis effectively cleanses your emotions. It releases all the pent-up sentiments and tensions within the body. If done well for 15 minutes per day, it leads to a healthier mental well-being.

The best thing about catharsis is you need nothing but a secluded place. I use a mix and match of these 3 techniques while doing catharsis:

1. Screaming at the Top of Your Voice:

Utilize any room of your house. Make it your sanctuary to blow off your steam.

Put on any loud music. Imagine the situation that is overwhelming you. Start with imaginary light talk and increase the volume of your voice. Reach for your scream. Yell out all of your anger. Cry if you want to. Don’t hold back anything that comes to the surface.

It helps in providing an outlet to your suppressed emotions that you also are not aware of. Let that primal scream out, release all the inner tensions.

Allow your heaviness to flow through you. Don’t reject your sentiments. Accept your every feeling in love.

2. Shake Your Body.

Sometimes people surround us. Screaming is not possible. You can effectively do catharsis by shaking your body.

Put on your favorite music. Move your body. Start with a slow dance. Gradually progress to vigorous shaking of the body. It helps in dissolving the dense knots within the body. While shaking, you can yell as well.

The gist is not to hold back. Continue doing it for 15 minutes. Then relax and sit/lie silently for the next 15 minutes.

Don’t shake your body vigorously if you have any pain or medical conditions that contraindicate it. Do light movements instead.

3. Do Gibberish Meditation.

Don’t let the word meditation scare you away. Gibberish meditation is a technique to clean the mental clutter. Physical shaking removes density within the body. Gibberish cleanses your thoughts.

Gibberish means nonsensical language — that which makes no sense. During gibberish meditation, you speak nonsense in an audible voice for 15 minutes and then sit silently for the next 15 minutes.

This meditation helps in calming down the mind. A scientific study has also found it to relax the mind, helped in improving memory and attention.

Takeaways

Light-hearted life is possible when you don’t drag the weight of emotions. Release them regularly. Accept all of them in love. Provide an outlet.

No need to judge yourself. Like flowing water, let every dull feeling will float away. All you need to do is channel them in the right direction.

When you drop the resistance, you truly live a joyful and light-hearted life. Every human deserves it, including you.

The more room you give yourself to express your true thoughts and feelings, the more room there is for your wisdom to emerge. — Marianne Williamson