4 Clear Signs You’re In Survival Mode
#1 You feel that no one can help you.
When we experience stressful events or circumstances, our bodies adapt to survive. They turn to automatic responses that are supposed to help us overcome the situation we’re in.
These responses are fight, flight, fawn, and freeze.
Sometimes, we’re chronically stressed. We get stuck in these responses because we don’t know how to get out of the circumstances we’re in.
Here are some signs you’re in survival mode.
1. You feel that no one can help you.
When we’re in survival mode, we feel hopeless and completely alone. We feel like we have no one to turn to.
Even if we do have someone to turn to, the idea of asking for help either doesn’t cross our minds or makes us feel like a failure. More often than not, that’s because, growing up, we didn’t know what it was like to have a secure base/support system.
People with an avoidant or fearful-avoidant attachment style are more prone to believe they have to do everything by themselves.
2. You’re always tired and depleted (and you forget your basic needs).
It’s no wonder you’re tired all the time. Being in survival mode takes a lot of mental, emotional, and physical energy.
If all you want to do is sleep and watch Netflix, and you feel like you have no energy for even the basic things like eating or taking a shower, then you’re definitely in survival mode — and you’re probably stuck in freeze.
“When we’re stuck in freeze, we feel numb and immobilized. We have no energy, and every task feels like a nightmare (even small things like taking a shower or preparing a meal). To make things even worse, we then judge ourselves for not being productive and motivated. We think, “what’s wrong with me?” only to make the “same mistakes” the next day, reinforcing the feelings of self-hatred and unworthiness.
Another common sign we’re stuck in freeze is feeling an extreme need to isolate. People who freeze often struggle with thoughts/beliefs like “I can only be myself when I’m alone,” which leads them to isolate themselves from loved ones.”
3. You struggle with insomnia and/or intrusive thoughts.
If you’re in survival mode, your nervous system is incredibly dysregulated. That can look like…
- feeling like your mind never turns off;
- overthinking everything and analyzing every detail because you feel like you need to be prepared for every possible threat;
- feeling irritable and overwhelmed;
- having panic attacks;
- not being able to sleep properly;
- dealing with unexplained physical symptoms (the nervous system regulates every other system in the body, so anxiety often leads to other issues);
- being highly sensitive to other people’s emotional states;
- being unconsciously addicted to stress — putting yourself in stressful situations because you’ve normalized being surrounded by chaos;
4. You can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Sometimes, we feel like life doesn’t give us a break. There’s always some curve ball every step of the way, and we just can’t rest.
Our egos love to hold onto these situations and make us think that we’re hopeless victims. Even though we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, it can be helpful to remind ourselves that the tunnel is twisted. It has many curves along the way that make it very difficult for us to see the light at the end. However, the light is there, and sooner or later we’ll be able to see it. We just have to keep going.
From financial issues to childhood trauma, there are many reasons we live in survival mode.
It can be very difficult to get out of this state. If this is something you struggle with, it’s crucial to find ways to regulate your nervous system and create safety in your life.
