3 Ways To Get People To Like You.
Positive vibes go a long way, do you agree?
When people like us and we know it, it feels like we are floating on Cloud 9. The reverse is also true. I have been through times when I was parachuted into a project team where I had no affinity of any sort with the client and the working team. In truth, it felt like Purgatory. I have not been to the real one, but if there is an approximate, I think that is pretty close.
And I don’t mean buttering up to others. What I meant was no one wanting to lunch with me, no one laughed at my jokes, and absolutely no one paid attention to my management updates.
My professional advancement was on the line at that time, so I decided to speak to my direct manager and pull the plug. I managed to do that subsequently, though not without advancement costs at my end.
The ability to get others to want to communicate and connect with us is important. When the communication lines are established and open, ideas flow through. To reiterate, this has nothing to do with buttering up.
This is about being the best person we can be and opening multiple taps of opportunities.
I believe, we want that.
To do that, we got to have people attracted to us.
Attraction Factor # 1 — Listen Without Prejudice.
This sounds easy. In practice, it is incredibly hard to do.
Our mind works in ways that we cannot comprehend. As if it is an engine design for quick responses, we always want to match what we hear to what we want to say. We are capable of producing thoughts within a fraction of a second.
That is the key challenge of listening. In fact, we have to disconnect our mouths from our minds when we perform active listening. Just hold those thought bubbles in our heads as the other party speaks.
Most of the time, they want to let their emotions out without any expectations or advice. Take note of that, especially for pantry talks. The person we are listening to will be attracted to us.
They will thank us for listening, though we might have effectively done nothing.
That is the trick.
Attraction Factor # 2 — Pay Attention When They Speak Using Our Eyeballs.
The moment we look at them when they speak, good things happen. They know that we are paying attention to them.
In fact, this is another simple piece of advice that is difficult to implement. That is because looking straight in the eyes of others makes us uncomfortable.
This is what we can do. Looking at them occasionally, and hold the eye-to-eye duration for 3 seconds before looking elsewhere. Then come back to the eyeball meeting again. Rinse, wash, repeat.
When we give the other person our complete attention — They will when it is their turn to listen. We do want clients and team members to listen to us when we speak, don’t we?
Attraction Factor # 3 — Mirror Our Body Language.
We like people who are like us. That is normal. Loving our adversaries is pretty perverse. I don’t know about you, but I think so.
There is social proof for that. The saying “Birds of a feather flock together” is one. Socialising is part of our way of life, and we tend to stick to those who think alike, who share the same values, who work in the same industry (therefore share a “common” language). In short, commonalities bind us.
That can apply to getting others to like us enough to want to connect with us. How to? Via our body language.
When it comes to our body language, mirror what the other party is doing sends a strong signal that “I am like you”. As Jordan Belfort espouses in many of his YouTube interviews, crossing legs in a timely fashion can pay future dividends.
Another way is to use the words that the other party is using. That will extend the body language mirroring to the verbal communication that is going back and forth.
It works. Remember, people like those who are like them.
Of Likes and Likeability.
This is not a buttering up exercise or about getting more likes on social media.
This is about Life Lessons that will serve us well in the future, regardless of the work that we do and the people we meet.
When the people we connect with are willing to listen to us and understand that they get our full attention, they will like us enough to want to stick around us. That is because it is comfortable to be around our company.
Wouldn’t we want to grow our social and business network?
Start here.
Grow the circle by getting people to like us.
Get People to Love Us.
Aldric
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