3 Reasons People Avoid You All The Time.
Do people avoid you? Maybe you have these attributes
Do you find it strange that people drift away from you after a while? I mean, sure. There are some with whom we don’t share an affinity. They can be natural enemies, like rabbits to tigers. What if we don’t share an affinity with anyone?
It’s time to reflect.
I used to be oblivious. I want to be myself. I do. I express myself freely, and I needed others to accept me for who I am.
Over time, I realized that I got a little too overboard with that. There is still a need to be the authentic me, and at the same time, leaving room for a little respect for others goes a long way.
It is from that experience I can tell those attributes that push people away from me. Like a mirror reflection, I can recognize them immediately when others do it.
In my opinion — there are 3 main attributes (reasons) people avoid. If you have them, watch out.
1 — You Like To Preach.
I don’t mean that you are a Pastor. By preaching, I mean you have a Theory For Everything.
Let’s say that your colleagues are talking about the boss being annoying. You heard it, and you decided to give your side of the story.
And you gave a glorious elaboration on the years of friendship you have with the boss dating back to high school, that he used to be a brilliant quarterback, that he was a national scholar, he is driven, he has 3 kids with 4 dogs.
You go on and on. Maybe you think you are entertaining. Okay, I am not too sure about that.
I am sure that … you are drowning your colleagues with your saliva. And I am also sure that … they will lunch behind your back in time to come.
2 — You Like To Give Free Advice.
This is a bad idea. That said, I get why you do it.
Many of us are bad students and ‘Great Teachers’. By ‘Great’ — I mean we are terrible at learning, and yet we want others to learn from us.
A result of that is dishing out freely available advice. Let’s be real. What is your impression of free stuff?
Sure, you will take them when someone offers. These free items also stay in the garage till Home Clearance Day, is that right?
A point to note. People like premium items, not free. If you want others to listen to you — Give exclusive advice. Not free advice.
One more minus as a result of dishing out free advice. You remind the person of their naggy Grand-Aunt.
3 — You Like To Hijack Conversations.
Do you enjoy talking? That’s great. Me, too!
So much so that you enjoy hogging the microphone in the Karaoke and the invisible mike in casual conversations.
Nothing wrong with that unless … you interrupt when others speak. Do you allow others to finish what they want to say before you jump in?
If you don’t — Watch out.
Firstly, no one likes to be hijacked. Secondly, everyone loves their airtime. Thirdly, people want to be respected. When you hijack them, they feel uncomfortable.
The moment others feel uncomfortable with you around, one thing will definitely happen. Your name will be removed from the Year-end Christmas invitation list.
Do You Make Others Uncomfortable?
These are the main reasons people avoid you at all costs.
When it comes to communication, making others feel at ease is important. When we start preaching, giving free advice, and hijacking conversations — We start the process of pushing people away from us.
That is detrimental in terms of building our network capital.
I will share more in terms of attracting people to us in my next story.
Stay tuned.
Aldric
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