22 Questions for Robinhood Tech Support

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on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening? ¹</li><li>Why do I lose money every time the app crashes?</li><li>How can I convince my mother-in-law that <a href="https://readmedium.com/snow-white-the-huntsman-and-a-doofus-holding-an-arrow-b80674ade848">I’m not a doofus</a>?</li><li>Why do political candidates in general elections pretend they didn’t make exceptionally whack-a-mole promises to win their party primaries?</li><li>How can Bored Apes afford yachts? I still have 15 years left on my student loans.</li><li>Where in the world is Carmen Santiago? The answer to this question still plagues my childhood.</li><li>Shouldn’t more of the questions in this list be about money?</li><li>How do I make an NFT? I have a mole my dermatologist wants to show off at a conference.</li><li>Will you join Medium with my <a href="https://medium.com/@workplaysol/membership">referral link</a>? Your membership supports thousands of talented writers, including me.</li><li>Can you leave teeth whitening strips on too long? Asking for a friend.</li><li>What’s the current exchange rate from Etherium to <a href="https://readmedium.com/get-back-up-to-25-in-smillewcoins-f3928d4c7151">SmillewCoins</a>?</li><li>Seriously, where’s my money?</li></ul><h1 id="9a2c">Footnotes:</h1><p id="0c26">¹ Riddle of the Sphinx. The answer is “Man, who crawls as a baby, walks on two legs as an adult, and

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uses a walking stick in his twilight years.”</p><p id="3450"><i>Want some more money-related humor on <a href="https://medium.com/doctor-funny">Doctor Funny</a>?</i></p><div id="c849" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/update-thanks-to-medium-ill-be-the-richest-man-on-earth-31a5f9584e2b"> <div> <div> <h2>Thanks to Medium, I Will Not Be the Richest Man on Earth</h2> <div><h3>Owning the universe takes longer than I planned</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*XWCagoGEHMEvnZN0)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="2804" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/panic-about-a-stock-market-collapse-fd9e661c801e"> <div> <div> <h2>Panic About a Stock Market Collapse?</h2> <div><h3>Top Secret strategies that make everyone rich but you.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*CfGeCg7yuEOEXIdo5LkmDw.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Do I look fat in these pants?

Who knew all my stock in Blockbuster Video would lose value? Screenshot by Author, edited in Canva Pro

The Robinhood stock trading app launched a new 24/7 tech chat support. Here are the top questions people are asking:

Where’s my money?

Wait, isn’t Dogecoin supposed to pay for my mortgage?

My grandson sold me some Bitcoins. Why do the coins have a picture of a mouse named Chuck E. on them?

I forgot my OnlyFans password. Can you send me a new one?

If Robin of Locksley stole from the rich to give to the poor, why am I still broke?

What’s the difference between investing in stocks, bonds, and celebrity excrement?

Do I look fat in these pants?

Is Twitter hiring?

If a train leaves Boston at 4:13 pm carrying 291 tons of frozen shrimp, how long will it take a Red Lobster in Des Moines, Iowa, to eat it all?

You up?

What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening? ¹

Why do I lose money every time the app crashes?

How can I convince my mother-in-law that I’m not a doofus?

Why do political candidates in general elections pretend they didn’t make exceptionally whack-a-mole promises to win their party primaries?

How can Bored Apes afford yachts? I still have 15 years left on my student loans.

Where in the world is Carmen Santiago? The answer to this question still plagues my childhood.

Shouldn’t more of the questions in this list be about money?

How do I make an NFT? I have a mole my dermatologist wants to show off at a conference.

Will you join Medium with my referral link? Your membership supports thousands of talented writers, including me.

Can you leave teeth whitening strips on too long? Asking for a friend.

What’s the current exchange rate from Etherium to SmillewCoins?

Seriously, where’s my money?

Steal from the Rich, Give Me the 💵💵💵

Do I look fat in these pants?

Footnotes:

Thanks to Medium, I Will Not Be the Richest Man on Earth

Owning the universe takes longer than I planned

Panic About a Stock Market Collapse?

Top Secret strategies that make everyone rich but you.