Get Back Up to 25% In #SmillewCoins
Some people¹ have recently complained I was making too much money from my ko-fi page. It’s true that with my background in cognitive marketing, I have an unfair advantage.
But what should I do?
Pretend I don’t have the skills to let other folks like Mikey Knitascarf can succeed too? Even though their ko-fi accounts are sad and boring?
I don’t think so.
I decided to prepare a special offer instead
It’s limited in time. So, please, pay attention and get your credit card ready. It’s gonna be FIRE. The conditions to apply are simple and straightforward. That’s the way I groove, as you all well know.
If you’re reading this article, you’re approved for this offer. You can enjoy it for yourself and one (1) of your friends.
(Be careful, however, if you’re not reading this article, then you have no right, ZERO, to take advantage of this offer. It would be cheating. And we all know that we don’t like cheaters. Go back to pre-school if you need a refresher on the topic.)
I’d like to take a moment to thank my Grandma for helping me craft this offer. My Grandma is sometimes called the OG marketer.
Some even say she taught Ogilvy himself. That’s an exaggeration, but she indeed reconceptualized the judgmentally deficient area of attitudinal marketing. She calls it her Magnus opus in demassification.
But let’s delay no further, here goes the offer.
The Special Offer
IF you’re approved for this offer (see above, conditions apply), you will get 25% back in #SmillewCoins for every dollar spent in my ko-fi shop.
You read that right. Read it again if you want to check.
It’s a fabulous offer:
- It has no lower limit. The offer starts at $1. And we can all agree that’s nothing given the inflation rate these days.
- You don’t get a measly 5% back like these cashback offer thieves. I will give you TWENTY-FIVE percent back. In #SmillewCoins².
Awesome
If I could participate, I would.
But as a resident of my brain, I’m not allowed to take part in lotteries organized by myself; even the ones guaranteed to be profitable (in the future) like this one.
Enjoy!
Footnotes for full transparency
¹ The people who “recently complained I was making too much money” exist only in my head. However. Some great philosophers have argued that everything is in our heads. So, what difference does it make if these people are real or not? They’re real to me.
² #SmillewCoins are currently worth nothing, but this will change in the future. Look at bitcoins. It was worth nothing ten years ago, and now … See what I mean? Get your #SmillewCoins today for extra cheap and reap the benefits in the future. (See also footnote #1 for more details on how to reap these benefits.)
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