20 Bullshit Things I Leave Behind With My 20s

Last month I turned 30 years old. I had been dreading this birthday for a while because the number carries a certain weight with it. Thirty. Puppy protection is over. The seriousness of life appears to be starting.

By 30, you should have your life together — or at least that was what I was telling myself. However, I didn’t feel like I had anything figured out at all.

The number reminded me with a sudden and undeniable force that I was getting older. With increasing inner restlessness, I knew I had to do something, and no, I don’t mean Botox.

I sat down with a pencil and a sheet of paper and did what I’m good at writing. I reminded myself of all the bullshit I experienced in my 20s, which I can now bid farewell to — with a big fat smile on my face.

Sweet Farewell

1. Bye, living on the breadline. A colleague once said to me, “Being in your 30s is like being in your 20s — just with money.” Now I understand what she meant. At the tender age of 30, I’m finally experiencing the delightful pleasure of not having to pinch every penny. Yay!
2. Bye, toxic relationships. As a former child of alcoholics I found myself drawn to partners who abuse substances. It was as if I believed that a relationship wasn’t legitimate unless it came with a side order of emotional turmoil. By 30, I’ve realized that my well-being deserves better than being entangled in unhealthy dynamics. Here’s to nurturing relationships that bring positivity, support, and happiness into my life.
3. Bye, baby face. In your 20s, you’re like a not-quite-fish, not-quite-flesh creature: stuck between adulthood and still not fully resembling a grown woman. But hitting 30, it’s like the last traces of childhood finally packed their bags and left my face, and you know what? I’m wholeheartedly embracing it.
4. Bye, naivety. Oh boy, was I naive in my 20s? I tended to believe every tall tale that the people who took advantage of my gullibility spun for me, no matter what my gut feeling told me. I mean, innocent until proven guilty, right? But I’ve learned. At 30, I know I can trust my gut feeling, no matter how plausible the excuse may sound. And I’m truly welcoming this wiser, more discerning era of my life.
5. Bye, self-neglect. I used to take care of others to distract me from my own problems, a habit deeply rooted in my struggles with low self-esteem. I had to learn the hard way, that neglecting myself was doing no favors to anyone, least of all me. Today I know that my own self-care deserves the same attention I give to others. Here’s to self-love, and a healthier, happier me!
6. Bye, performance pressure. Entering my 30s brings a welcome sense of liberation from the relentless performance pressure I once felt due to academic stress. Finally, my life is not defined by grades and exams anymore. Goodbye, anxiety and sleepless nights that came with the academic rat race. I’m not gonna miss you!
7. Bye, rushing through life. As I step into my 30s, it’s become clear to me that life isn’t a race to the finish line. I used to rush it, always looking ahead to the next milestone, the next achievement, the next high. I hated to feel bored. Now, I value it as a chance to reflect and recharge. Moreover, I’m starting to appreciate the small moments that make life beautiful. Life’s too short to be in a hurry all the time.
8. Bye, isolation. As a former wallflower, it was important for me to be cool in my 20s. This influenced how I chose my friends, often leading to a sense of isolation because, in reality, I didn’t truly fit in with them. At 30, I no longer feel lonely, because I stopped trying to impress the wrong people and found myself some friends who appreciate me for my true self.
9. Bye, FOMO. I used to suffer from a severe case of the Fear Of Missing Out, which was rooted in the belief that I was only interesting if I was an extrovert, who hung out with people every day. At 30, I kicked my FOMO in the ass and replaced it with a much better feeling: the Joy Of Missing Out. I find genuine enjoyment in spending time with myself and I’ve come to embrace that. So goodbye FOMO and hello JOMO.
10. Bye, people-pleasing. For years, I was a certified people-pleaser, as if my life’s mission was to make sure everyone around me was as content as a cat in a sunbeam. With 30 I have unlocked the superpower to first stop and ask myself if I have the capacity to meet the wishes of others before saying “yes”. And I can tell you: It’s a good feeling.
11. Bye, neglecting health. For years, I treated my body like it was an indestructible superhero. But here I am, in my 30s, accepting that it is more like a sensitive houseplant that will die if I neglect it long enough. With 30 I’ve realized that prioritizing sleep, doing sports, and not consuming shit all the time actually makes me feel like a functional human being. 10 out of 10, would recommend.
12. Bye, hangovers. Neglecting my health in my 20s also meant, that a Sunday wasn’t complete without a raging headache and a vow to never touch alcohol again (until next weekend). At 30, I don’t want this anymore for myself. My body deserves better than being a test subject for new and inventive ways to feel terrible the next day. So, cheers to weekends I can enjoy.
13. Bye, insecurities. In my 20s, I was still so unsteady that everything, really everything, made me insecure. Especially when it came to myself. Am I pretty enough? Smart enough? Funny enough? These questions haunted me daily. It took me 30 years to realize that I don’t have to be the best at everything to be valuable. I am who I am. And that’s OK.
14. Goodbye, drama. My life in my 20s often felt like an endless soap opera, with dramatic twists and turns that I sometimes played a part in creating. But now I’ve realized I don’t need to audition for the lead role in a melodrama. My life deserves more serenity and less sensationalism and I wholeheartedly embrace the peace that is my life now.
15. Bye, impulsive decisions. For too long, I lived my life in a constant state of reaction, responding to every situation as if it required an instant reply. This often caused harm to myself and others. At 30, I’ve learned that I don’t need to pop up with instant reactions to every little thing. So, adieu to those responses that occasionally left me wondering, ‘Maybe I should have waited to send that text?’ Hopefully, we’ll never see them again!
16. Bye, dependency. For far too long, I clung to my partners like a lifeline, convinced that I needed them to be happy. Thoughts of breakups used to terrify me, as if I’d be left adrift without a compass. They still make me break out in a cold sweat to this day, but I’ve also discovered that I can not only survive but thrive on my own.
17. Bye, Sticking Up with Bullshit. Growing up in a dysfunctional family, I used to swallow my anger and endure mistreatment. I was afraid of confrontation. However, at 30 I’ve finally learned to stand up for myself and enforce my boundaries, especially with family. It’s a - if not the most - significant step in my growth journey.
18. Bye, making bad financial decisions. I didn’t exactly inherit financial wisdom. My family had only limited resources, and you truly can’t call my mom a saving expert. So, in my 20s, I had to navigate the world of money with very little knowledge. It was challenging at first, but the lessons I learned were worth it. I’ve taught myself the art of saving and even learned how to invest — and I’m very darn proud of it.
19. Bye, bad time management. Back then, my time management was a mess. Even today, I think back with horror to all those nights when I realized with sheer panic that I had — again — started studying waaaay too late for the upcoming exams. It didn’t help that I had to juggle three mini-jobs. But those chaotic times taught me valuable time management skills that I rely on today.
20. Bye, negative self-talk. I used to be my own harshest critic, constantly putting myself down. But as I approached the end of my 20s, I realized that this self-destructive behavior wasn’t helping me. Now, whenever I feel down, I try to hype myself up with a little pep talk, because: Why would I betray myself like that — especially when I’m already on the ground?

Hello 30s, glad to finally meet you

Being in your 20s is a wonderful, chaotic time. With a naive, teenage-y mind, but the right to make the choices of an adult, you are figuring out who you are and who you want to be. It’s magic.

In these formative years, I felt truly free for the first time in my life. And for that, I will forever be grateful. But my list helped me realize, that even if I enjoyed every moment of being in my 20s, they also sucked. A lot.

With 30, I know myself better than ever. I ain’t going for all the bullshit I endured when I was younger. My life has calmed down and I am smart enough to appreciate it.

So it’s time to say goodbye to you, my sweet innocent 20s. My list showed me, that I outgrew you.

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